A meeting with Death

Warnings/notes : oocness, slightly weird/silly (aka my attempt at humor ^^;), bits of language

Disclaimer : I don't own Hellsing. This version of Death is based on Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels, which are many times more funny, wonderful and imaginative than any fic of mine will ever be. I also don't own 'Buffy the vampireslayer' to which one reference is made.

written at 16th august 2003, by Misura

Key : in the novels Death speaks in HOLLOW CAPITALS, here he does it in italics


He was kind of used to it by now, after all the times it had happened to him.

Some foolish human had tried to kill him.


His body had given away under the assault, causing his attacker to think he had gotten rid of the dreaded vampire.


Glaring at the moron who still wore a victorious grin on his face for breaking yet another pair of his sunglasses (those things were *expensive*, for crying out loud! And Sir Integral had refused to pay for them, telling him he'd simply have to be 'more careful'), Alucard got up.

Nothing happened.

Or rather, nothing that he had *expected* to happen, happened.

His unworthy opponent was still smiling, staring at something over Alucard's shoulder.

Something that was lying on the ground.

Something that bore a remarkable resemblance to his own battered body, the way it had looked before he revived it.

Only it wasn't.

Alucard was beginning to feel uneasy. Something was wrong ; he *felt* different.

Still, maybe he could try again.

He seemed to be invisible to the mortal who had 'killed' him and was now launching into a victory-speech, even if there wasn't anyone else around to hear it.

*half an hour later*

Something was *very* wrong.

He had been trying to get back to his body for a good thirty minutes now (which may not be much for someone practically immortal under normal circumstances but was under the present ones).

The human was still going on and on about what a hero he was, his words an annoying buzz in the background of Alucard's mind.

Someone coughed.

Thinking it was the human, whose name was, according to himself, Billy the Vampireslayer, formerly known as Arthur Reginald, Alucard paid not attention to it.

Someone cleared his throat.

Alucard ignored it.


Alucard looked down on his body, wondering what else he could try.

"Excuse me?"

Alucard spun around, grabbing for a gun no longer there.

Two blue pinpoints of light stared back at him from under the hood of a long, black cloak. A very bony right hand was loosely holding a scythe.

"You are the person commonly known as Alucard?"

"Not exactly commonly ... but yes, some people know me by that name."

"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you."


A/N : Yes, I know it's rather short. Only ... well, I'd like to know if people actually like this. Before I write more for it, I mean.