The characters mentioned in this fic belongs to Konami and some other dudes..

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Life has been good for Snake. Beers, cigs, Asian pin-ups and of course, the presence of Meryl.. Meryl.and yes.Meryl.

Anyway, let's get back to the story.

The legendary Solid Snake was now living with her in a small Alaskan town. It was a simple life, working surrounded by dorks and annoying residents. Everybody would know you're secret in less than 3 minutes. Infamous Intuits would go killing animals and eat their uncooked flesh for dinner, this fact has fascinated Snake, but sadly grossed out Meryl.

Yea, it was a simple life, until now.

"Snaaaaaakkeeee!!!"

The man shuddered at the woman's voice. "Why did everybody yell his name like that? I mean, I'm not dead or anything."

As he stood up from the couch filled with marshmallows, he turned off TV where his favourite shows played: Like Home Improvement.

Yea, that show saved his ass last week. Meryl had been threatening to burn his Asian pin -ups to Hell if he didn't fix the bathroom's faucet.

Returning to reality, he spotted Meryl coming towards him with a box.

"Oh box, I just love you so. You make me tingle when I see you." He whispered.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

She just smiled and held the box in front of him, "Here open it."

Cautiously, Snake opened the tabs of the nice box with a shriek.

"GAH!! It's moving!!" He yelled hysterically and pulled out a gun.

"Snake it's just a kitten and we're keeping him. I found in on the streets and I though he'd keep you company while I go to work." She calmed him down. "Besides, I just named his 'Snake Junior'."

"You what?"

"Spot that Snake. You're scaring 'Snake Junior'" Meryl hushed him as he held the gentle looking kitten in front of his face.

Snake stared dumbly at the creature as his brain tried to analyse some data.

[IINSIDE SNAKE'S BRAIN: THE MUSICAL]

-ANIMAL CLASS: FELINE
-SORT: EVIL
-FUR TEXTURE: UNEXPECTEDLY WARM AND FUZZY
-SPECIAL NOTES: SHARP NINJA CLAWS, FACIAL EXPRESSION LIKE RAIDEN'S AND CAT NEEDS BOOOZ TOO.

[END OF ANALYSE]

"So? What do you think of 'Snake Junior'?"

"Huh? Hum, yea he's nice."

"Really Snake?"

"He shrugged, "You can keep him, I just want you're box."

"Snak-"

"I said I want the box!" He roared.

Scared, Meryl backed away slowly and gave the mad man the box. "Here's the box, but what are you going to do with a dumb ol-"

But before she could finish her sentence, Snake took off with his new toy and ran to his room with a unearthly giggle.

"So 'Snake Junior' what do you think of Old Snake?"

"Meow?"

3 DAYS LATER.

"I can't take this anymore!"

"What Snake?"

"Gahh! I hate that cat. It looks at me with his cute eyes and makes me melt, he smells oddly like Liquid, he doesn't stop following me and-" Snakes covers his face like a drama movie, " He . . .He used one of my boxes as a scratching pole! One of my pooor innocent box suffered from your canine."

"Feline!"

"I don't care even if it's a new alien species."

"Snake, stop. You're acting childish, Snake Junior has done nothing wrong."

The man sighed, "You're right, I shouldn't take it out on a defenceless animal like a kitten."

"Damn right Snake."

"What are YOU doing here Otacon?" Snake asked in a annoyed voice.

"I was hoping you'd remember my birthday!" he said happily from an opened window.

"I wouldn't of cared if it was even you're mother's funeral Hal."

"That was mean Snake, even for you. Apologies to Hal right now."

But before he could even turn his head, Snake noticed his 'friend' running of crying like a sissy in a manga.

"Look at what you've done Dave. You should be nicer to you're friends while you still have some."

"Meryl, stay outta this. This is Otacon remember? He'll snap out of it. Like the time I thought his Parrot was lunch."

Out of no where, a hand slapped his face. It was didn't really hurt but it was painful coming from Meryl.

"I'm sick and tired of you Solid Snake. I'm leaving."

"But-"

"Don't 'butt' me you bastard! For months I've tried to live with you but I'm getting nowhere. I think I need a vacation. AWAY from your Alaskan fantasy world where you drink you're booz 24/7 and you're unbearable masturbation from your awful pin-ups!"

"How did you-"

"Oh please Dave. I'm respecting you're privacy but sometimes, you don't even know how thin these walls separates me and you're passionate cries."

"But-"

The arguments continued for a while, but poor Snake was unable to utter a single word besides 'but-' while Meryl packed her clothes and other necessities in some suitcases.

"And take care of 'Snake Junior' for me" she said hurriedly and placed the mewling kitten in his arms.

"But-"

"Snake?"

"Yeah?"

Meryl's angry look got gentle and made Snake's heart go faster, "Please, if you do care for me, take care of the kitten ok?"

"But-"

He couldn't have avoided her departure and he couldn't even resist her quick kiss, he couldn't have stopped her from her starting engine and he couldn't help himself from watching her leaving town and he never even noticed that 'Snake Junior' was mewling in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Gimme anothwer beer Steve."

"Dude, you shouldn't be drinking anymore . . ."

"I seaid onothwer one!! If y'a don't's I'w blasts youyr head inta simetterins!"

*Bartender runs away*

"Snake, you should stop drinking or you'll be spending the next 2 days in the bathroom."

"Stay ouwtta this Raiiideeeeen. This is MY attemps to make this right for my butds."

"By drinking?"

"Yep."

"What exactly did you tell Hal and Meryl to make them so sad?"

"I told Otacaon that I wouldn't have gones to his HOT mother's funeral and I wouldn't have cares less than his Birsthday and I got mads at Swakes Juniors."

"Who's 'Snake Junior'?"

"It's a fluffys kitten that looks like youUuu!"

"Really?"

"Yep!" *hicks* "It walks like you, eats like you, dances and talks AND pisses like y'a!" *hick*

"Snake. Sometimes I really do worry about you."

"God, he's really drunk tonight," he thought, "I think I'll have to drag him back to his house again."

"Dave?"

No answer came up.

So Raiden glanced towards his friend who's fallen asleep on the drenched table and his head was sprinkled with peanut shells and cocktail umbrellas.