TITLE: Hold Me, Greg Boy
AUTHOR: Syringe
RATING: PG-13 (for now)
PAIRING: Greg/Sara pre-romance
CATEGORY: Humor/Romance
SUMMARY: Greg's music gets weirder... and it intrigues Sara
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, not a bit of it. If I owned CSI, Grissom, Nick, Warrick, and Greg would not own any clothing at all. If I owned Bat Boy the Musical, it would have a happy ending. Since neither of these is the truth, they obviously don't belong to me.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This popped into my mind when I was listening to the Bat Boy soundtrack for the umpteenth time, so I decided to write it out. I made it Greg/Sara at my sister's request (or rather, threat). Enjoy it. Oh, and Bat Boy the musical does actually exist. It is based on the tabloid creature in World News Weekly. Extreme hilarity insues.
It was your standard night at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Warrick was working with Catherine on a burglary/sexual assault. He was headed down to the print lab to see if AFIS had found a match for the partial prints he'd lifted from the scene. As he approached Greg's lab, he heard music blasting, which was completely normal. But as he drew closer, he realized that this music was different than the stuff Greg normally listened to... Greg's tastes ran towards Hard Rock music, but this song was eerily uplifting and cheerful. When Warrick reached the door, he was finally able to hear the actual words, and they confounded him even more.

Now let the turtle and the dove (Ooh, sha la la!)
Let the lion and the lamb (Ooh, sha la la!)
Let the owl and wolf and ram embrace (Oooh, Aaah!)
Across the countryside!
Fur and feathers making love (Sha la la!)
Paws and claws and jaws and beaks.
Let the song go on for weeks and weeks
To bless this boy and bless this bride!
Oh, Children, Children
Don't be scared! The moon is up and we're all prepared!
Children, take a look around, hear that joyful sound!
For what we thought was lost at last is found.
Sha la la la la la!
The Earth's asleep, time to wake it.
If you have clothing, forsake it.
We want you breathless and naked.
Choose your mate (Choose your mate!)
And then let's see what we create!
HEY! (Dance break)

Damn. . . and I thought his music before was weird! Where the heck did he find this?! Warrick thought to himself, shaking his head.

"Hey War, did ya get a hit from the prints yet?" Catherine's voice asked from somewhere behind him.

"Shh! Quiet! Listen!" Warrick hissed, not wanting Greg to notice them. Another, very small part of him wanted to see how much more bizarre this music could get, or what the other songs on the CD could be about.

Catherine frowned, and had her mouth open to protest, but the song finally filtered into her brain and distracted her with its incongruence. She quickly shut her jaw with a snap and pressed her ear against the glass wall to hear the words clearer.

Draw near, my dearly beloved,
No priest, No church- but what of it?
Take root, take flight, I command it!
Here we stand- (Here we stand!)
So no more stalling- take her hand!
Oh, Children, Children (Children!)
Don't be scared. (Don't be scared!)
The moon is up and
We're all prepared!
Children, take a look around
We're on sacred ground,
And hear that joyful sound!
For what we thought was,
What we thought was lost
At last is found!

"Oh my... what in the world is that?! That is without a doubt the scariest song I've ever heard! The upbeat rhythm masks the words, but it's freaky, plain and simple!" Cath whispered loudly to Warrick.

"Yeah I know; that's exactly what I was thinking." Warrick replied. "Where do you think he found that song?"

"I don't know," Catherine replied, "and frankly, I don't want to know. The fact that it exists is disturbing enough for me."

Nick and Sara rounded the corner deep in conversation and headed down the hall towards where Warrick and Catherine were rooted, listening intently to Greg's music. When Nick finally looked up from his conversation and saw them, a half-smile grew on his face.

"Hey man, don't let us interrupt you two..." he said.

"Shush!" Catherine hissed, glaring at him.

Warrick leaned over to the two newcomers and muttered in a low voice, "you gotta listen to this... Greg's music is the most disturbing thing I've ever seen!"

"Don't you mean 'most disturbing thing that I've ever heard'?" Sara responded.

"And besides, Greg's music is always weird." Nick added.

"Not like this" Warrick told them. "This stuff's even freakier than what he usually listens to! Now shut up, I wanna see what the next song is."

"D'you think it could get any scarier?" Catherine asked.

Warrick shrugged. "Knowing Greg, it could."

The four were silent then, and strained their ears to pick up on the first verse of the next song.

Man #1:
In a cave many miles to the south
Lives a boy born with fangs in his mouth.
Sleeping until the fading light,
Flying through bloody dreams;
When he awakes the summer night is filled with screams.

You have heard he was born in the bogs.
That he feeds on the flies and the frogs.

Man #2:
You call him "Beast" or "Changeling";

Man #3:
Or "Demon Chimpanzee";

Man #4:
But we will prove he's no such thing:

He's much like me! And me!

At this point, the young lab tech, who was still oblivious to the audience outside his lair, stood up from his chair and, to a mixture of dismay, intrigue, amusement, and horror for the foursome watching him, began to sing and dance along with the lyrics.

Oh, hold me, Bat Boy! Touch me, Bat Boy!

Greg threw his arms across his torso, catching himself in a hug.

Help me through the night.

He ran his hands slowly down his torso.

Love me, Bat Boy! Save me, Bat Boy!

He held his arms out in a beseeching gesture, as if begging some unseen force.

Make it all turn out all right!

He executed a neat jazz square, pivoted on the spot, walked purposefully over three steps, then stopped.

"Oh man, this is great! Blackmail on a plate!" Nick whispered gleefully to the other three.

"Where'd he learn to dance like that?" Catherine wondered aloud.

"Be quiet! There's more!" Sara glared at the two, who fell silent under her gaze.

Man #2
He was dragged from his home and thrown down
At the edge of a coal mining town.

Man #5
They stripped him of his dignity,

Man #1
They beat him like a gong.

Man #3
And he was kicked repeatedly,

And that was wrong! So wrong!

"Oh shit!" Catherine hissed suddenly.

Sara whirled to face her, ready to tell her off again, and saw the figure of Grissom, absorbed in reading a file, walking down the hallway towards Greg's lab.

"Aw man! What're we gonna do? If Griss goes into the lab, he'll ruin the show!" Nick said disappointedly.

"You kidding, bro? I can't wait to see what the Boss thinks of Greg's song-and-dance routine! Hell, I think some members of the PD would pay to see this!" Warrick replied.

Unaware of what he was walking into, Gil strode purposefully towards the DNA lab to see if Greg had found a match for the double murder he was on. He pushed open the door and was suddenly confronted by the sight of Gregory Sanders in his own little world, unaware of the five Graveyard shift CSIs watching him with horrified curiosity.

Oh Hold the Bat Boy-

Won't you hold him!

Touch the Bat Boy-

Won't you touch him!

Bring him to the light!

Bring him to the light!

Love the Bat Boy-

Won't you love him!

Save the Bat Boy-

Somebody save him!

Make it all turn out all right!

Grissom finally gathered his wits enough to reach out his hand and turn off the CD player. Greg whirled around in the sudden silence, seeing his supervisor and the rest of the CSI team all watching him with peculiar expressions on their faces.

He felt like he was going to be sick. Thoughts were racing through his mind faster than he could address them. They all saw me? How much did they see? Oh god, what are they going to say? They're never going to let me forget this... Is Grissom going to yell at me? Are they going to tell everyone? Oh lord, what does Sara think?

This last thought somehow anchored itself in his mind. He felt his body go numb and cold. He felt nauseous; he was certain he was going to be sick if he so much as opened his mouth. He'd made a fool of himself in front of the one girl who he wanted to woo. Great going, man. She's sure to want a man who acts like a little boy, an inner voice chided him. Not like she ever thought of you as a man to begin with, another voice chimed in. Shut up he thought desperately at the voices.

A stern chiding was on the tip of Gil's tongue, but before he could speak the lab tech's face quickly went from the red of embarrassment to the sickly yellow-green of a person about to lose control of his stomach. Deciding to be semi-gracious for once (he did have feelings after all, despite what people said), he swallowed the reprimand and asked, in as casual a voice as he could muster, "You have anything for me yet, Greg?"

Greg had to swallow a few times before he felt that he could talk without throwing up. Sara was still standing outside; the last thing he needed was to humiliate himself in front of her even more. That would just be the icing on the cake. The perfect end to a nightmare day. . . er. . . night. . . er. . . bah, whatever! He risked glancing through the glass at Sara once more. Her face was unreadable, but her eyes shone with... what? Compassion? Empathy? Pity? Oh great, he thought, now she pities me. I can go ahead and hurl now... it doesn't matter. Nothing can get worse than her pity. "Uh...uh... yeah, you get a perfect match. It was the wife's ex-boyfriend." he finally managed to choke out.

"Thanks," Grissom said, taking the results off the desk when Greg made no move to hand them to him. "You should probably take a break now. You don't look too good." With that, Grissom turned and left.

TBC. . . ?

A/N: Thanks for reading! Shall I continue? Please hit the review button and let me know!
The songs "Children, Children" and "Hold Me, Bat Boy" can be found on the Bat Boy the Musical soundtrack. It's a great show, see it if you can!

A/N 2: I'm so so sorry that this hasn't been updated. I got so busy, then I forgot my password for my account... and now I don't know where to go with this. Anyone gets an idea, please help me! And thanks to everyone who's reviewed, I'll try to continue this as soon as I know how.