Oh Lord, what have I done? Sweet forgiving Christ, why this torment? I vowed to love only you, and you tempt me yet with this Siren! I can not will myself to believe, my beloved God, that my Lord doubts my faith in him. Everyday I gently coach the insane, helping them to see your glorious light. Everyday I sit in silent prayer, begging my sins to be forgiven, begging your infinite mercy upon me. And everyday my mind wanders to her soft skin, her delicate bosom, and a jealousy deep inside me. I've caught them together! His perverse thoughts are warping her into some beast like him. I fear she will be his some day. Can you blame me, God, for kissing those sweet and passionate lips? I mean to save her! Perhaps you can not love more than one in a lifetime. My love must never love that sick man. She loves me, Lord, she loves me! And though it shames me, and haunts me, and kills me to think that I have let you down, I love her as well. It was wrong of me to act on my desires, I know, but how can I hurt such an innocent thing? Yet I have wounded that peaceful dove that has only wanted light in its caged life. I have pushed her away and she will run to his arms, I know it! I don't think I shall ever be able to forgive myself as long as I exist, in life or death. But wait, I have been saying all of this as if you, God, have only been bent on punishing me for some unknown crime and she has been the product of it. But she is mortal too. She is a human. She is your daughter. You are doing this as much to her as you are doing to me! Please murder me and send me to Lucifer himself, if it pleases you, but never hurt blameless Madeleine. She has done nothing but what is in her nature to do. The dear child is trapped in her fantasies about love and romance and only wants someone to pour her tender heart out to. Why did you pick me? I feel your stare God, your eyes digging holes in my flesh, watching my every move. I must explain to her. I must make her understand. You can not deny that she deserves the truth, deserves that bit of light to sing in. Tomorrow I will go to her, force her to see your light and why I must not stray from it. She will be sent away, and so will this damned temptation! I won't let you down.