Hearts of Stone
Disclaimer: Don't own. All I have to say about 'Impact' is: Oh my God! Such a good episode, such a good ending. For those of you who haven't seen it drop everything and watch it now. Also if you're expecting to see some more wonderful Maximoff angst then you'll be sadly disappointed. This is 100% fuzzy Kurt angst, a first for me.
A fraction of a second. That's how long it takes for me to teleport. I think and then move into that strange other dimension. I don't spend very much time there. It's so quick that for most of my life I never even knew I did it at all. Then before I know it I'm where I want to be. It all happens in the blink of an eye. But this time even the merest fraction of a second is too late. This time I don't end up where I want to be, not by a long shot.
The first thing I see upon reentry is the stone statue that was my own mother land head-first onto a rocky outcropping and start to break. Everything moves slowly. I scream as the sculpture continues to be mutilated by its unforgiving assailant. Gravity is the cruelest mistress of all this night. The hunks and pieces hit the shore below the cliff and the air is silent save for the lapping of waves against the sand. In another fraction of a second I can feel the sand between my toes and I can see pieces, remains, of the woman who gave me life strewn in a mess along the shore.
A million contradictory thoughts run through my brain as I feel myself start to cry. I sob as I pick up the head and stare into the vacant, lifeless eyes. My feelings are as mixed up and scattered as the stones. Anger, despair, grief, a desire for revenge, a desire to understand. A million questions but no answers. They merge into a single question, into one simple word. Why?
Her face is twisted into a look of shock and anger. Why was she so angry? What had this cold, unforgiving world done to make her the way she was? What will it do to me and to Rogue before we too become like her? I cannot say but I pray to God that it will not be more painful than this because I will not be able to bear it. It's all I can bear to witness the murder of my mother by her own daughter.
Murder. That's what I have witnessed here. I will not sugarcoat it with the technicalities of the lack of blood relation between her and Rogue or the fact that she was already clinically dead. This was murder most foul. God help me, this may not be the only murder committed tonight.
My first thought is to kill Rogue for what she has done. I bite it back with all my strength. X-Men do not kill. It's the cardinal rule, break it and you're definitely gone. We must never kill especially not one of our own and especially not family. I may not condone this atrocity but I will not compound it. I will not let my soul match my appearance.
My next feeling is pity. Pity for Rogue, for my sister. This will haunt her for the rest of her life, tear her soul to pieces. I warned her it would. Why did she do that, how could she do that? Has she become as cold as the stone I now hold? Mystique used her, too many times, but to commit such an act with no remorse is unthinkable to me. We have fought at each other's side, risked our lives for each other. Can all that's happened to her have made her so callous? Couldn't she see that this meant everything to me?
Too many questions and no one left to get answers from. That's all I wanted, answers. We never got a chance to really talk, to sort everything out. Now I fear we never will. I will never know what has made her so angry, never know why she abandoned me. I fear that Rogue will not be the only one haunted by what's happened tonight.
My tear-filled gaze wanders up to the top of the cliff. Is Rogue still there? Is she sorry, is she crying? I fear no on all counts. I search the sky for answers. Perhaps God will give them to me or show me the path to them. I close my eyes and pray. I pray for the mother I never knew and for the sister I thought I knew. I pray that Mystique's soul may find peace at last. I do not know where she is now. I hope for the best but fear the worst.
I pray for Rogue next. I pray that God will help her see what she has become before it is too late for her to change. I pray that she will seek forgiveness. I pray most of all that she doesn't become like our mother. I pray that I may never again have to see her on the other side of the battlefield.
Lastly, I pray for myself. I pray that God will give me the mercy and compassion to forgive Rogue. It seems impossible to do so now but I will. I have forgiven my mother and, God willing, I will forgive Rogue too. She is still my sister even if we're not blood related. I will forgive her because I will not allow evil to poison our family any longer. I will not give in to anger and hate. Most of all I will never let my heart become a heart of stone.