INTRODUCTION:
This story is a "Daria"/"Misery" crossover.
Glenn Eichler (the creator of the cartoon: Daria) suffers a car-crash and is rescued by Mary Susan, a huge Daria-fan, who turns psychopathic and forces him to write a new season 4.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Rated PG-13 for graphic violence, torture, language, profanity, alcohol, smoking and black humour...
Very black humour.

MISERY CHICK
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EXT. A COTTAGE IN THE MOUNTAINS - DAY
A little house and a small car stand alone in the majestic scenery of the American "Alps".

INT. A COTTAGE IN THE MOUNTAINS - DAY
Glenn Eichler is typing the word "END" in a laptop. He looks at it and gives a content smile. Then he opens a bottle of Dom Periogne and fills it in a glass. Beside the glass are an expensive cigar and a match.

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD – EVENING - HEAVY RAIN
The small car, which was standing at the little house, is now driving on a very curvy mountain road.

INT. SMALL CAR – EVENING - HEAVY RAIN
Thick rain blocks the view of Glenn Eichler. Then, out of nowhere, he sees a deer standing in front of the car.
He breaks harshly, comes off the road and the last what he sees are tree-branches.

EXT. SMALL CAR – EVENING - HEAVY RAIN
The car lies on its roof and is heavily damaged.
A figure approaches the car. It takes an axe and breaks up the door.
The figure carries the body of Glenn Eichler from the vehicle.

INT. BEDROOM - MORNING
Glenn Eichler lies in bed. He sees the figure, who saved his life, in front of him.

FIGURE:
I am a huge Daria fan. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am a huge Daria fan.

It is a woman. Dressed like Daria, but with a smile unlike Daria.

GLENN EICHLER:
Who are you?

WOMEN:
My name is Mary Susan and you are: Mr. Glenn Eichler the creator of Daria.

GLENN EICHLER:
Huh?

MARY SUSAN:
Well how are you feeling?

GLENN EICHLER: (in agony)
What the f… OUCH! Ahhh!

MARY SUSAN:
No don't move your legs. You have broken them both.

She removes the bed sheet. Glenn takes a look at his legs. They both are bandaged to metal rails and have got an unappetising colour.

GLENN EICHLER:
(to his legs) Eww.
(to Mary Susan) Where am I?

MARY SUSAN:
In sanctuary. You had a terrible car accident.

GLENN EICHLER:
Oh yes. A deer was on the road.
(he smiles in pain)
I should have run over that damn thing.

MARY SUSAN:
Gonna work your way up to humans slowly?

GLENN EICHLER:
Excuse me?

MARY SUSAN:
You must know: Daria says:
(bad imitation of Daria) "I almost killed a dog yesterday."
And then Jane says:
(worst imitation of Jane) "Gonna work your way up to humans slowly?"
You have written it in "Through A Lens Darkly" Episode 1 of the third season.
(she starts to giggle) Oh, Mr. Eichler you are such a genius.

GLENN EICHLER: (wary)
Yes…

MARY SUSAN:
You know I am such a big, no huge Daria Fan.

GLENN EICHLER: (he notice her Daria-nesk out fit)
Yes, I see.

MARY SUSAN: (proud)
Look, I wear nearly the same glasses like her and I even got Doc Martens.

GLENN EICHLER:
Doc… what?

MARY SUSAN:
Doc Martens. The boots Daria wear.

GLENN EICHLER:
Since when Daria wears Doc Martens?

MARY SUSAN:
Since the 17th of July 1997. My Daria-newsgroup agreed on it. And since then it became almost canon for all Daria-fans in the world.

GLENN EICHLER: (tired)
I must talk with my associate.

MARY SUSAN:
Oh no, you have a bit of rest now.

GLENN EICHLER: (feeling very exhausted, nearly fainting)
Yes… okay.

MARY SUSAN:
But there is one thing.

GLENN EICHLER:
What?

She shows him a laptop, his laptop.

MARY SUSAN:
I found your laptop in the car, and I just wondered, I mean you always go to your mountain cottage to work in peace on your Daria scripts... so I mean can I… if you allow me…

GLENN EICHLER: (generous)
Feast your eyes on the scripts and concepts I made for season 4 and the TV-movie.

MARY SUSAN:
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am so happy.

She leaps in joy and runs with the laptop out the room.

GLENN EICHLER:
In about 2 minutes she will return to ask me the password.

He smirks a bit and then falls asleep.

HOURS LATER

INT. BEDROOM - EVENING
Glenn Eichler is sleeping. He gets rudely awaked when the door bangs open.
Mary Susan is standing in the doorway with Glenn's laptop. She is looking very, very furious.

MARY SUSAN: (shouting)
YOU! YOU DIRTY BIRDY, HOW COULD YOU!

GLENN EICHLER:
What?

MARY SUSAN:
She can't date Tom! DARIA MORGENDORFFER CANNOT CHEAT HER BEST FRIEND JANE!

GLENN EICHLER:
Mary, it was only a kiss. And Daria and Jane make up again in the end. And Tom becomes Daria's first boyfriend.

MARY SUSAN:
I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE HER FIRST BOY FRIEND!
I WANT HER SPIRIT, AND YOU F**K UP DARIA!

GLENN EICHLER:
No I didn't.

MARY SUSAN:
WHO DID?!

GLENN EICHLER: (calm)
The producers thought it would be a nice idea.

MARY SUSAN:
Nice idea???!!!
NO, YOU HAVE F**K UP MY DARIA!!!!!!!!

GLENN EICHLER: (provoked)
Now look, I can't remember, that the Daria copyrights have been submitted to Mary Susan.

MARY SUSAN:
Right! You ask for it.

She puts his laptop on a little table.

GLENN EICHLER:
What are you doing?

MARY SUSAN:
I am only doing you and all Daria fans on the world a favour.

She starts up the computer.

GLENN EICHLER:
No don't!

She opens with the laptop-mouse the script files of Glenn Eichler.

GLENN EICHLER:
No! That is the best material I have ever written.

MARY SUSAN: (sarcastic)
Well, then you should come up with something even better than that.

Mary Susan presses the delete-button and all of Glenn Eichler's hard work of the last weeks vanishes in a split of a second.

GLENN EICHLER: (terrified)
What have you done?

MARY SUSAN:
I had a vision, which told me your purpose for being here. It is my destiny to help you with Daria.

GLENN EICHLER:
What? Do you think I simply just can pour out an entire 13-episode-season plus a TV-movie?

MARY SUSAN: (determined)
Oh but I don't think Mr. Glenn Eichler… I *know*.

She puts his laptop on a bed-table (a kind of tray, on which you can place dishes) in front of him.

MARY SUSAN: (manic)
Okay. Now you better start with a new season 4 concept of before lunchtime… OR there will *be* no lunchtime for you, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!

GLENN EICHLER: (scared and quite)
Yes, Ma'am.

MARY SUSAN: (kind)
Hey! "Before lunchtime, or there will be no lunchtime for you." That sounds very funny. I think you should use this in Daria.

GLENN EICHLER: (scared and quite)
Yes, Ma'am.

MARY SUSAN: (serious)
Oh, and Mr. Eichler, I have forgotten to add.
Don't hope somebody will rescue you, since I have told no one that you are here.

She walks out the rooms and slams the door behind her.

GLENN EICHLER: (quiet and terrified)
Eep!