[For dusty, who requested this plot. You may remember that Chandler quit smoking using a hypnosis tape, and he started acting like a "strong, confident woman." But for this story, please assume that Joey never overheard the tape in that episode, nor altered it. So an unsuspecting Chandler kept listening to the tape for the whole two weeks that Rachel recommended it.

Note on the use of pronouns: I will still refer to Chandler as a 'he' because he's not really a transsexual, just a person temporarily messed up by a hypnosis tape.]





Sitting in his apartment on one of the stools, Chandler was checking his appearance in a hand mirror and trying to decide how many buttons to leave unbuttoned from the top of his shirt. Not that he had any actual cleavage to show off, but Chandler had learned from his father the drag queen that illusion was everything.

Just then, Chandler heard Joey coming home, so he quickly hid the mirror beneath a magazine and tried to look casual. He sprawled across the kitchen counter and smiled the warmest of smiles at Joey. "Hi," he murmured sweetly.

"Um, hi," Joey responded awkwardly. He grabbed a beer from the fridge, then turned to look through his mail.

Chandler waited and kept gazing at Joey admiringly. He wanted to say, "Welcome home, honey," but didn't. Instead he asked, "How'd your audition go?"

Joey put down the mail. "Oh, great! Yeah, I think I have a real shot at getting it."

"Yeah?" Chandler smiled and leaned closer with interest. "What's the part?"

"It's the lead in this play, *Boxing Day*. Yeah, I'd be playing Victor, this guy who fights with his wife all the time, and he's gonna leave her, but for a secret reason. I don't want to ruin the surprise ending."

"It sounds great." Chandler reached out and brushed Joey's arm fondly. "Good luck, Joe."

"Uh, thanks. Thanks a lot." Joey nervously pulled his arm away and stepped back toward the foosball table.

Chandler had been acting very weird lately, and the gang had attributed it to stress over Ross and Rachel's breakup, as well as his quitting cigarettes again. But moments like this made Joey suspect that the bizarre behavior had a different cause. Was it possible that Chandler might be gay after all? And that, like his dad, Chandler was late in coming out of the closet? Joey wasn't sure what to believe.

Caution seemed to be the wisest course of action, so Joey cleared his throat and shrugged casually, "Um, do you wanna play some foosball, Chandler?"

"Maybe later," Chandler answered. "Actually, I was wondering something, Joe. Do you wanna go out with me tonight?"

"You mean to a game? Sure."

Chandler shook his head and smiled. "No, actually I was thinking about dinner. And a movie."

Joey stared at Chandler. "You mean a date?"


After an awkward pause, Joey put down his beer and asked, "You're--you're joking, right?"

"No, I'm not." Chandler met his eyes with complete seriousness. "I'm not drunk either. I'm just doing something that I should have done a long time ago."

"Well, um... That's, that's--" Joey gulped and couldn't think properly. "Wow." He was completely lost and overwhelmed. Chandler wasn't just coming out; he was hitting on Joey too.

Chandler smiled at Joey's incoherence. "What's the matter? You feel weird about me asking you?"

Joey nodded frantically.

Chandler shrugged and said, "Well, I would have waited for one of your pickup lines, Joe, but you didn't seem to be getting around to it any time soon. I thought I'd just do it and save you the trouble, you know?"

Frowning, Joey was even more confused. "You--you've been waiting for me... to ask you out?" Since when did anyone, let alone Chandler, think that Joey was gay?

"Sure," Chandler laughed with amusement. "I've never seen you be so hesitant and shy with a girl, Joe. I mean, you'd think that you would've made a move right after that kiss at New Year's."

"Oh," Joey blinked and realized that Chandler didn't regard that kiss as a meaningless, caught-up-in-the-moment act after all.

Chandler watched Joey's eyes and smiled flirtatiously. "You remember that kiss, huh?"

Joey swallowed and nodded. "Yeah."

Confident that Joey's quietness indicated a reciprocal attraction, Chandler said, "So let's do more of that, Joey. Let's get closer. We don't have to stay just roommates forever. We don't have to be just friends."

Joey stared into Chandler's eyes searchingly and wondered how Chandler could be so calm and matter of fact about this. Joey's head was whirling with conflicted emotions.

"You still haven't answered me," Chandler prompted him. "Do you wanna date me or not? It's just a simple yes or no."

Joey struggled for words. "I just, um... This is so sudden. I-I didn't think you'd ever--I mean, all the time, we're just hanging out like buddies, and I just, I just--"

To put an end to Joey's adorable, but lengthy, rambling, Chandler got off the stool and came toward him.

Joey gasped and backed into the foosball table.

Chandler grinned in surprise. "What? Are you afraid of me? Don't worry, I don't bite." He caressed Joey's cheek softly. "Unless you want me to."

Joey trembled at the thought.

Watching his eyes, Chandler leaned near and kissed Joey's lips lightly.

Joey hesitated for a moment, as if frozen, but then he suddenly grabbed Chandler and kissed him back passionately. Part of him remained a little bit afraid, but he couldn't resist the desire to surrender and believe that it was as simple as Chandler made it sound.

Quite pleased, Chandler melted into his embrace and wrapped his arms around Joey's neck. "Mmm," he whispered seductively, "that feels more like an end-of-the-date kiss to me. How about we skip straight to the sex?"

Catching his breath, Joey was stunned and amazed again. "You--you sure you want to do that? Right now?" Though he was definitely attracted to Chandler, and had been for a long time, Joey wasn't prepared to have sex already. He had never slept with a guy before, and he believed that Chandler hadn't either, despite his strangely confident attitude.

Chandler just smiled and kissed Joey warmly. "Why not now? What do we need a date for, Joe? We already know all about each other. Come on," he took Joey's hand and pulled him toward his bedroom.

With wide eyes, Joey shrugged and went along. Either Chandler had been with a guy before, or he really knew how to bluff.

As they squeezed around the entertainment center together, Chandler teased him, "Admit it, you slashed my door in half so that you could peek at me when I get dressed in the morning."

Joey chuckled. It really had been an accident, but he surely should have thought of taking advantage of it. There was apparently a reason why Chandler still hadn't requested that Joey fix the door.

Shutting both halves of the door, they made out feverishly and moved toward the bed together. Chandler squeezed Joey's butt, which made him jump a little, but also turned him on. Since when was Chandler so aggressive and grabby? He didn't act so brazenly with women, from what Joey could hear on the other side of the wall.

Joey restrained Chandler's roving hands for a moment and warned softly, "Chandler, slow down a little. This is our first time."

"I'm sorry. Yeah, it should be special. I just, I just want you so bad."

"Me too." Joey gave him a hot, lingering kiss, then sat Chandler down on the bed and began undressing him.

For now, Chandler went along with Joey's slow, sensual pace, and they stripped off all their clothes, throwing them into a pile on floor.