A Night at Kitsune's

Let's begin this story with a nice, long, author's note.

First of all, if you are particularly disgusted by sexual references of any sort, stop reading now.

Second, if you are like me, and reading in the hopes that this'll turn into a lemon, stop reading now.  Pervert.

Third, if you have a doughnut, send it to me.  I'm hungry.

Fourth, I'm trying to keep this around PG-13, but it may jump to R later.  I've been suppressing the urge to throw Mutsumi into the 'initial incident.'  I haven't (yet) due to a pathetic attempt to keep this somewhat tame.  You really don't want to know what's going through my mind half the time.

EDIT: Too much risk.  It's been upped to R.  We apologize for the inconvenience.

Fifth, the disclaimer.  All characters are property of someone else.  I only own the storyline (I think).  The author is also currently quite bored.  He is not responsible for any bad jokes or bad story-writing skills.  Lastly, the author is currently in school.  Any lack of updates should be blamed on someone else.

Sixth, this happens somewhere after the 12th magna, after Naru's finally confessed her love for Keitaro.  Just to keep it interesting.

Seventh, I'm really hungry.  Send me that doughnut and this fic may actually start.

Eighth, scratch that.  For those two of you still reading, I begin Chapter 1.

Chapter 1

Keitaro woke up, a blasting headache reverberating between his ears.  Hangover in full swing, he began to search for his glasses, groping around for them since he really couldn't see properly.

As his right hand felt, he identified what he could feel…  pillow, blanket, futon, futon, futon, hair, warm squishy thing, warm squishy thing…

Then, the left…  floor, floor, undergarment, floor, glasses!

Putting them on, the first unusual thing he noticed was that the hole in his ceiling had been repaired.  Whoever had done it, he thought to himself, did a good job.  It looked like it had never been there before.

The next sensory information related to his hung over, slightly-still-intoxicated mind was a feeling.  It slowly dawned on him he was completely nude on this futon.

The next sensation was an odd one to him.  There was another source of heat on that futon, a pleasant one that felt nice to the skin that was touching it.  Despite the general summertime heat, he didn't mind this warmth.

Slowly, but surely, his auditory nerves began to function as well.  It was the sound of breathing, but it wasn't his breathing.  Normal people as hung over and slightly-still-intoxicated as he would've questioned this by now. Remember, though, this is Keitaro.  The process of logic takes slightly longer for him compared to normal people.

As that logic rounded full circle fifteen minutes later, he began to believe that something was out of place.  He certainly didn't fix the hole, nor had he asked anyone to do it.  He rarely, if ever, slept in his birthday suit, for fear that Naru might see something from Liddo-kun's view post (If either party saw the other au-natural unintentionally, it was cause for a Naru-Punch).  He certainly didn't sleep with a heater on next to him.  Lastly, no one usually shared a futon with him, despite many fantasies wishing the opposite was true.

He thought to himself: Maybe, just maybe, I'm not in my room.  And, though it's certainly impossible in the real world, there's an extremely tiny chance that there's someone else, also naked, on this futon.

Nah, the hung over, slightly-still-intoxicated mind of Keitaro Urashima thought to itself.  Like that would ever happen.  Not bothering to check his memories of the night before, he promptly fell back into a blissfully dreamless sleep.

Seemingly be coincidence, Naru woke up at the moment that Keitaro feel back asleep.  Her hangover-ridden mind opened her eyelids.

Of course, Narusegawa here is as blind as Keitaro without the proper vision correction.  Her hands began to feel around for her glasses.

The left hand first: pillow, blanket, futon, futon, futon, something hairy…

Next, the right: floor, floor, undergarment, floor, glasses!

Her eyesight restored, her groggy mind first noticed that the ceiling above was the familiar one under which she had slept that night.

As her body turned left it's numb state, her skin began to tell the hung over, slightly-still-intoxicated mind of hers that she was completely nude on that futon.

Another sensation from Naru's body slowly entered her brain.  She was cuddling up next to something soft and warm, which made her feel rather pleasant, despite the head-splitting headache that was a result of her hangover.

Surely enough, the ears regained function, and the first thing they reported was the sound of gentle snoring.

Of course, for this top Tokyo University student, logic occurred much, much faster than poor Urashima.  She was in her room, something that was normal since she really preferred to sleep there instead of someone else's.  She was sleeping in her birthday suit, something which she never did under normal circumstances (she feared that the pervert-turned boyfriend Urashima would sneak up on her to catch a glimpse of her naked body).  Also, no one shared a futon with her (and no one will until I'm married, she thought to herself).

She thought to herself: Maybe, just maybe, something more happened last night.  And, though it's certainly impossible in the real world, there's an extremely tiny chance that there's someone else, also naked, on this futon.

This is the key difference between her logic and the logic of Keitaro.  She decided to attempt to justify all this by reviewing her memories.

She left Hinata House on her own three days earlier, by herself, as requested by her grandparents in Tokyo.  Before her, Otohime had left to retrieve more watermelons from Okinawa; Kaolla had left to 'retrieve' bananas from their 'captors,' the Banana International Corporation's ship in Tokyo Bay; Maehara had left on a school field trip to Kyoto; and Aoyama had left to train with her sister at an undisclosed location on Honshu.

After pleasantly visiting and sightseeing with for one and a half days, she left her grandparents' place to, in her words, visit with a friend.  In reality, she was terribly depressed over not being with Keitaro.  She got herself terribly drunk at a local bar, and pleasantly returned to her grandparent's place.  She returned to the room she was staying in her grandparents' apartment.  In her hungover stupor, she stripped off her clothes and, being too tired to change, feel promptly asleep with one of her favorite stuffed animals.

That in mind, Naru, her fears comforted, fell back into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

Again, seemingly by coincidence, but actually the result of a storyline's attempt not to be too confusing, Mitsune woke up.

Oh, $*@%.

She was hung over and slightly-still-intoxicated, and cuddling up to something that wasn't one of 'toys' from her special closet.

Forget about it, her mind told her body.  It was too focused on the hangover part.  Mitsune, too, fell promptly back to a blissful, dreamless sleep.

Of course, this blissful sleep could not last forever.  Naru slowly roused herself up, ready for another full day of fun with her grandparents!

For breakfast, her grandma fixed them some scrambled eggs!  They were good, but not as good as Shinobu's, Naru though to herself.

Following breakfast, they discussed what they were going to do that day.  Oh boy did it sound like fun!  They set off for their first destination, Tokyo U.  Naru got to show them around her campus, and they were impressed that their granddaughter had made it into such a fine institution.

Next, they visited…

What?  You don't want to hear about Naru's fantastic, pervert-less day?  They had some great things planned!  Naru and her grandparents were going to see a sumo match, tour Budokan Hall, eat lunch at a fancy restaurant…

Huh?  You say you want to hear about Keitaro and Mitsune?  But they're just back at boring Hinata House!  Nothing happens there.  Fine, I'll tell you about Mutsumi's exciting watermelon picking…

Again?  You still want to hear about the events in Hinata?  How about I tell you about Su's great banana heist.  It was a beautif…

So, you're set on Hinata's remaining occupants.  But let me tell you something, you're missing out if you don't want to know about Motoko's new technique.  It's called the…

But Hinata is soooo boring!  What about Shinobu's field trip?  First, they went to…

Damn, you're persistent.  Let me just do a little about Naru…

Hey, hey buddy, put that thing down.  No need to get violent.  I'll just tell this story about some interesting customers Haruka had…

Damn, ok, one warning shot was enough.  Back to Hinata…

Mitsune and Keitaro both woke up, and yawned.  Both felt unusually tired, and both still had slightly annoying hangover-induced headaches.  They, without paying a bit of attention to the other, untangled themselves from each other.

"Good morning Kitsune," said Keitaro, still sitting, facing forward, on the futon.

"Mornin' to you to, Keitaro," replied Mitsune, also sitting face forward on the same futon in her room.

They turned to face each other.  Mitsune saw Keitaro and his pleasant, naked manly chest.  Keitaro saw Mitsune and her pleasant, naked womanly chest.

Then, as calmly as normal, as if nothing unusual was at work, both turned around again, stood up out of futon

As they began to start moving on a normal morning routine, they both had a revelation.  It wasn't a normal one, either.  It was the kind of revelation where you realize that your entire life has just changed.  For example, "Hey, I can use fire to warm myself, cook my mammoth meat, and scare away my enemies!"  Or, "Hey, I can use the wheel to easily and efficiently move large, heavy objects!"  There was, "Hey, I can put meat between these two slices of bread and have a simple, yet delicious and nutritious meal!"

"Last night…" they both began.

Keitaro said, in a shocked voice, "We didn't…"

Mitsune responded in the same kind of shocked voice, "Did we…?"

Minutes of awkward silence.

"I remember," Keitaro began, "we both started drinking in the common room since we were bored."

"Yeah," Mitsune continued, "everyone else was gone, so we just kept on drinking…"

"Besides that, I can't remember a thing." Keitaro continued.

Mitsune promptly agreed that other than the drinking part, she didn't remember doing anything.

She continued.  "So maybe…  we just got drunk…  came up to my room…  and fell right to sleep?"

A heavy weight was lifted off their shoulders, and both looked and sounded noticeably relieved.

"Yeah, that's it, Kitsune," Keitaro said is response.  "But…"  He paused  "That doesn't explain the floor…"

Both parties peered down at the hardwood floor of Kitsune's floor.  It was littered with various articles of clothing, all of which were at places where they shouldn't have been.  Of note, there was a bra hanging from the rafters, while a pair of male's underwear was in a bookshelf.  Of course, these clothes belonged to the two standing there.

"Well, we didn't want to sleep in those clothes…" Mitsune began.

"And, we were too tired to change into pajamas." Keitaro finished, noticing that they were both standing as naked as they day they were born.  Apparently, both were still to shocked to really care.

Another moment of awkward silence.

Then, the both of them broke out laughing and started to gather and put on their respective clothing.  As they both reached a state of dress they could pass for acceptable by most standards, Mitsune stumbled across something.  Keitaro noticed her pause.

"What is it?"

"My…  my video camera."

After a relatively quick breakfast (both were still nursing now rather tiny hangovers), Mitsune and Keitaro gathered around a television in the common room.  Both, notably slightly nervous, reclined, as Mitsune hit the 'play' button on the remote.

Tense moments turned into hours as the VCR did it's work.  An image appeared on the screen.

Snow.

Both were relieved, and issued rather loud sighs.  This tape was blank.

Keitaro said the first words.  "Phew!  For a little while there, I though we actually had wild, drunken sex!  I'm relieved!"

Kitsune, her usual character returning to her, replied in a sly, teasing, voice, "Oh, I'm hurt.  You mean you wouldn't want to have drunken sex with me?"

Keitaro replied without thinking.  "Well, I kinda would…"  He then turned a bright shade of red as Kitsune grinned.

"Oh, I know," Mitsune said in her infinite wisdom.  "You love Naru."

"Yes, but," Keitaro replied, "if she found out, she'd also send my in the upper atmosphere!"

They both had a good laugh.  Mitsune stood up to take the tape, which was still rolling it's static.

Then suddenly, just before her hand pushed the eject button, a clear image and sound came out of the television.

They saw Mitsune's hand in front of the lens, as they heard her quite-drunken voice say, "This shway, we canv watch us doin it magain shomorrow!"

There was no mistaking that the next images that rolled were a very drunk Kitsune and a very drunk Keitaro making out on the futon.  After that, well, if we were to go into more detail of what happened after the make out session, this fic would be classified as extremely dirty and the author would be shot.

On screen, the drunk Mitsune and the drunk Keitaro were both, judging by how loud they were getting, having a very pleasant time indeed.  However, the sober Mitsune and sober Keitaro sitting on the couch were not having a pleasant time at all.  In fact, both were too shocked to do anything by stare at the screen, which really wasn't helping the state of affairs.

By this, of course, we mean that both were extremely horny.

'Damn, I didn't know two people could do that…' Keitaro thought to himself as the tape continued to roll.  'NO!  Must stay focused… must think clearly…'

Keitaro closed his eyes and ignored the moaning coming out of television's speakers.  'First at hand, Kitsune.  I'll just let her down real gently.'

His imagination played out that scenario…

"Last night, we were both drunk and lonely, Kitsune.  I still like you as a friend, but it didn't have any meaning to me…"

"Yes, I understand Keitaro.  You love Naru.  I've gotten drunk lots of times before and did it with lots of people, so it didn't have any meaning to me whatsoever."

Keitaro was confident that was how it would turn out.

For the next half the scenario, informing the rest of the girls.  By this point, not only was the tape getting to him.  Certain 'other materials' he had read before (and I don't mean textbooks, folks) were starting to influence his flawed thought process.

Once again, the imagination continues…

"So, Kitsune and I had sex.  But like I said, we were drunk, and it didn't mean a thing," Keitaro said to the other four inhabitants of Hinata House.  A moment of thoughtful silence followed.

Naru approached him, her expression unreadable.  "So…  You're finally a man!  I'm so proud!"  She than hugged him.  "Though, I wish I was the one…"

Motoko interrupted.  "I believe we can agree a terrible injustice has occurred here."  Keitaro froze as the other three nodded in agreement.

The swordswoman continued.  "Therefore, the only way to right the wrongs is that…"  She paused dramatically, as Keitaro wished she would hurry up and declare his fate.  "… we should all have sexual relations with Keitaro."  The others again nodded in agreement.

Just as his imagination was taking him to a good part, Mitsune's voice brought him back to reality.  'Ok, just like the first part of the plan,' Keitaro thought to himself confidently.

"Keitaro," Mitsune began, "it's become painfully obvious about what happened last night."  Another dramatic pause, simply for the sake of reader interest.  She continued.  "You see, I…"

******************

INTERMISSION

******************

"…I've done it with others before.  With some, I was simply drunk.  Others, it was for the passion, the heat of the moment.  But, I did love all the men who I've had sex with.  You're no exception."

These words set off a plethora of alarms in our poor protagonist's brain.  While the buzzing continued, both sat dumbfounded, lost for words.  As his mind began to function once again, Keitaro noticed a single tear roll down Mitsune's eye, as her face drew nearer and nearer to his own.  Closer, and closer…

She was kissing him.  For the second time in his life (that he could remember, or course – video-tape induced reminders excluded), a soft pair of lips had met his own, and they were kissing him like there was no tomorrow.  Almost without thought, he returned the full force of her kiss.

Just as they were both getting really into this kiss, a door opened.  A voice announced, "Yo, Keitaro and Kitsune!  I'm back from Tokyo!"  The owner of that voice walked into the commons, where she saw Keitaro and Mitsune begin what, without the interruption she would soon provide, would have been a very nice session indeed.

Tape of them having sex while actually watching them kiss, Naru stood still as a rock as the other two lovers finally noticed her presence.

"You…  bastard…"

Needless to say, the following events didn't go as Keitaro had imagined them, either.