Prologue

            Spuddy stared at the window, unable to sleep.

            People didn't believe that he had a little green friend.  When he'd tried to tell them about it two years ago, they'd sent him to see a doctor, who talked to him a lot and gave him little white pills that made him sleepy. 

            He didn't talk about it to anyone anymore, but he knew that his little green friend would be coming for a visit again soon.  He could feel it in his toenails. 

            It had been a few months since the last visit, and for days he had been on his guard, waiting for it to happen again.  Using a mirror to peek around every corner he intended to turn, looking into shadow-filled alleys as he passed, staying up nights on end for fear that he would awaken with that hideous face looming over him and ranting, ranting, RANTING!!!

            A bug crawled out from under Spuddy's hat, and then back in again.  He ignored it, his eyes glued to the window. 

            When a green head poked out from behind the curtains, Spuddy didn't even flinch.  The window was open; it was useless to close it against him.  He'd tried boarding up the window in his last house, before the doctor insisted it was only aggravating his 'delusions.'  He'd finally convinced his parents to move into this new house across town, but, well, that hadn't worked very well either, had it?

            A body soon followed the head, rolling clumsily out of the windowsill onto the carpet.  Dark muttering could already be heard.  Dusting himself off, he rose, and, finding Spuddy, turned to continue his ravings even louder.

            ". . .I couldn't believe it!  He was just all like. . .grrr. . .And they all laughed like hideous little. . .raaargh!. . .Three years I've been trying to defeat him. . .He thinks he's so. . .grrrr. . .that. . .Dib!!"  The green kid flailed his arms in the air and stamped his feet.  "I'm sooo going to. . .arr!. . .errr!. . ."  He made a strangling motion.  "Squish his big fat head. . .Aaargh!!"

            The ranting went on for about twenty minutes, during which Spuddy could make out nearly the exact same litany he'd been hearing for the last three years, comprising mostly of the words hideous, doom, hate, and Dib.  By the end of it the air around the green kid had been thoroughly punched, beaten, strangled, kicked, and otherwise mutilated.  Even one unfortunate piece of clothing that had been within reach now lay ripped and well-stomped on the floor. 

            Not that the ranting ever quite ended.  Around twenty minutes after he'd arrived, Spuddy's green visitor always turned back to the window and climbed out, still muttering and cursing to himself.  For all Spuddy knew, he never stopped, only came to rant specifically at him every so often.  Spuddy tried not to think too much about it anymore.  It made his brain itch. 

Feeling that a large and heavy weight had been lifted from his chest (only to be perched again just overtop of his head, dangling ominously over him all the time all the time all the time until one day he knew it would just drop and he would EXPLODE), Spuddy laid back down in bed, covered up, and settled in for a night full to the brim of nightmares featuring a hideous faceless entity names Dib.