Harry Potter was sitting in the garden seeing how far Harry Potter's nose would stretch. Suddenly an owl came along and gave him a newspaper. The Owl ate Harry Potter. Harry Potter died. The End.

Hermione Granger was looking at the sun, seeing how long it would take for Hermione Granger to go blind. The sun suddenly got a million degrees hotter, and everyone in the world survived except for Hermione Granger, who was burnt to death. Hermione Granger died. The End.

Ron Weasley was thinking about how pov he was. Ron Weasley sang a song to Ron Weasley's self. Since Ron Weasley had not eaten in months this exertion killed Ron Weasley. Ron Weasley died. The End.

Without Ron Weasley and Harry Potter and Hermione Granger to save the world from Lord Voldemort, Lord Voldemort was very happy and took over the world, killing everyone except Draco Malfoy, who was so upset at his father dying that Draco Malfoy killed Lord Voldemort. The End.

Draco Malfoy accidentally poked Draco Malfoy's self in the eye, and Draco Malfoy bled to death. Draco Malfoy died. The End.

Review Please, even just to tell me how absolutely retarded I am.