Disclaimer: Not mine, no money made.


After my hands where tied, we walked. And walked, and walked. To

camp as dark haired man informed me. Which was the only information I

got from any of them. Now, what the hell they did this far from camp is

beyond me, but then, everything these guys did is beyond me.

Eventually we came to their 'camp'. To say I wasn't impressed would be

the understatement of the year. It was a campfire. Period. I think they

where just to lazy to also say 'fire', so they called it camp.

In this camp, there was the rest of their merry little band. Four children,

a hairy, very little man and a old man with white hair and a *long* beard all sat around the fire. The last one,

I was informed, was Gandalf. He did want to speak to me, just as Blondie

said he would. I just didn't want to talk to him, or any of them for that

matter. Seriously, by now I was very, *very* pissed of! Also I was hurting.

Badly, going trough your ankle, and then running and walking for God

knows how long, not to mention getting knocked unconscious and falling

out of tree is not good for you! My ankle, ribs and head where fighting

each other over who was hurting worse. Also, I was getting pretty sick to

my stomach. My hands where still tied and the whole merry gang was

surrounding me, while this Gandalf person was talking.

Now a little thing about me when I get pissed of. You have two options

then. I either don't talk at all, or I cuss you from here to the border.

Seeing that the men had swords and bows, the tiny hairy guy a axe

which I assumed he didn't use for wood chopping and even the children

had swords, I didn't think cussing at them would be the smartest thing to

do. See? I think sometimes!

So I got quiet. Just stood there staring at the old guy. I've been told that

that is real nerve wrecking. It worked this time to. First the children

started fidgeting, then one by one the men found a excuse to be away,

the hairy munchkin hold on the longest, beside the old guy. I think about

half an hour. Of course when you do the 'not moving a muscle staring'

thing, you can't look at your watch.

The old guy though, he wasn't fazed at all. He just kept asking questions,

the unoriginal ones, like 'who are you, where are you from' yada yada


But after that he just stared back. This could have gone on forever, but

my ankle choice that time to give out on me. When I landed in a heap on

the floor, my stomach also decided it had enough, so I threw up. At the

old guy his shoes. That actually made me feel a bit better. Would've

made me feel a lot better if my ribs weren't killing me.

I closed my eyes and opened them again when I felt someone trying to

get my shoe of. Now that hurt! So I do what I always do when I hurt, I

strike out. To bad that the black haired guy knows when to duck.

"My lady, I'm only trying to help you."

Oh that was rich.

"Really? Like how? Making me march for I don't know how long? By

tying me up? You're really full of it, aren't you?"

By now the guy with the black hair was looking at me confused.

"Full of it? Full of what? I don't understand my lady, but let me look at

your foot. It seems you have hurt it."

"No shit. Of course I have! There now you know, and now you can leave

my foot alone." By know I was glaring for all I was worth. Of course this

guy was very tall and I'm only about 5'4, so it didn't impress him much.

What did impress him it seems was that I cursed. Or impress might not

be the right word. Shocked might be a bit closer.

However he did what I asked and stopped prodding my foot.

He walked away after saying that he 'will only be a moment'.

This day was turning out worse and worse.


After some sleep, I was feeling much better. Last night the dark haired

man determent that my ankle was just a bit bruised and my ribs where

not broken. After he finished rapping both with some stinky, and I do

mean stinky, bandages I went to sleep.

Now I was awake again and the pain in my head was gone, the pain in

my ankle and ribs where down to a dull ache. I was determent to find out

where the hell I was. That did mean talking. Oh well.

Now, where to start. I looked around for a bit. The campfire was in the

middle of a clearing in the woods. The tree I was leaning against was a

bit away from the fire. My hands where still tied, but in front of me, so I

could still sit without cutting of the blood to my arms. Around the fire the

nine people I met last night sat. Only the four children where talking

softly. Oh yeah, animated bunch these people.

I cleared my throat. I had to start somewhere if I wanted to find out where

I was right?

Everybody looked to me. Oh joy, I so love being in the center of the

attention. Not!

"So. Shall I start the introductions then? My name is Kyra Hunter, I'm 21

years old, and I'd love to know where the hell I am. Next?"

The old guy was thoughtfully smoking his pipe and making 'hmm' noises.

Then he asked:

"You don't know where you are?"

God, this guy really wasn't bright, was he?

"Would I be asking where I was if I knew? Look, I told you my name, I

don't know this Sar-what's his name, I'm not a spy for anybody. Hell I

would probably shit myself the minute somebody asked me to do

something like that.

Now if you would either point me to the way home or at least introduce


"Very well my Lady. I am called Gandalf the White." He started pointing to

people around the fire, starting with one of the children next to him "This

is Frodo, next to him is Sam, the one eating the apple is Pippin, the one

trying to take the apple from him is Merry. They are all Hobbits. The

Dwarf next to Merry is called Gimli. The two humans in our company are

called Faramir and Aragorn. Legolas the Elf is standing guard in the tree

over there." Each person gave a nod when his name was called.

My head was reeling. What the hell was this guy talking about? Dwarf

and Elf? Hobbits? What the hell was a Hobbit?

I was beginning to feel like I fell down the famous rabbit hole and people

should call me Alice!

"uuuh, okay. Where are we again?" I asked. Best to ignore things I

didn't understand for now. I planned on being out of here real soon

anyway and then they could continue their little outing. Though I

wondered which psychiatric hospital let them out.

"We're close to Rivendell, in Middle Earth." The old guy, Gandalf I

reminded myself, informed me.

"Right and Middle Earth is where?" As soon as I asked this, the people

around the fire looked at each other confused.

"Where is Middle Earth?" Asked one of the children, Pippin.

"Yeah. Is it in Asia, Africa, Europe, Oceania or America?" I decided to

name the continents to make it easier, but it didn't seem to work. They

only seemed more confused.

One of the big men decided to change the topic.

"My lady, why do you dress so strangely?" I remembered the name of

the name who asked this was Faramir. I was surprised by the question

though. I dress strangly? I looked down at my wide combat pants and

black top, with a ankle length black leather coat over it. So I dress

alternative, it's not that strange. I mean, combat pants are even in

fashion now!

I then looked them over. If anybody dressed funny it was them. I told

them so to.

"I don't dress strangely. If anybody does it's you people. I mean, cloaks?

What is this? The year 1500? And tights, while they look yummie on you,

who wears them?"

Oh God! Did I just sat that tights looked good on them? Way to go, Kyra!

Thinking before talking is a concept I should really get into.

But lucky for me, they only looked confused

"'yummie', my lady?"

"uh yeah. Could we stop with the 'My Lady'? I'm no lady. Just call me

Kyra." I tried to talk over it.

"Kyra" Frodo mused "What does it mean?"

"Mean?" I asked, this people where really weird. "It means it's my name.

You call Kyra and I'll ask what's up."

"Up?" Asked Pippin, "There is nothing up but the sky."

As if to show the truth of his words, he pointed up, to the sky.

I just looked at him. Was he for real? He looked back at me with a

serious and confused expression on his face.

I just sighed. This was going to be long day.


Alright, this was all I had up before. Please review and let me know what you think. If you think it sucks, please try to come up with an original and/or constructive way to say so. If you love it, please, PLEASE tell me. I crave reviews. They're addicting like noting else :) Meantime, I'm going to go write further on the next part.