Title: Hear Me Out
Author: Angel (www.daisukidayo.net)
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and Co. though I'd love to own Sirius and Remus. Oh, WELL~
A/N: My first MWPP and (somewhat) slash fic J I can't help it, LOL~ Forgive my grammar, though. I had to time to find a beta. Please read and review!
Remus Lupin tossed a small, blue envelope onto an empty bed at the corner of Gryffindor sixth year dormitory. He was frowning very deeply, looking disgruntled and along the lines of disgusted. The door behind him creaked open but he didn't move or turn. He knew the presence too well. "Hey, James, Peter~" His greeting was weak. Sighing deeply, he hopped onto his bed and hid his frowning face with a pillow. James Potter rolled his eyes. "Let me guess. That good-for-nothing 'prat' sent you another letter, right?" Peter Pettigrew added, " and you threw it back right onto his bed, hmm?"
Their questions were answered by a low and muffled "Umm". The two of them grinned madly and high-fived. "GREAT!" The brown haired boy shot up and narrowed his eyes; the pillow left forgotten. "What does the 'great' refers to?" "Oh, well," James began, " we're letting him see how terrible his mistake is. Believe me Moony; we're giving him a good kick in the arse with our little masquerade. Isn't that right, Wormtail?" "Aye, Captain Prongs!" They dance a circle and Remus couldn't help but chuckle.
It had been six months after an incident involving himself, James, Severus Snape and Sirius Black. They dubbed the incident as the 'Snape Incident' while James kept suggesting they call it 'A Sirius Incident'. The three Marauders had been ignoring Sirius since, pretending as if the handsome boy didn't exist at all; as if he was transparent to them. After that incident, Remus had been receiving blue envelopes with Sirius' handwritings on them everyday. He already received a total of 179 letters; in which he found each of them on his bed after dinner.
Somehow, he never read a single one of them. He didn't want to. He was too angry with the other boy to even look at the direction of his bed, let alone to look at him. He didn't want to hear his explanations. It was enough. The man he considered his best friend (and his love) had betrayed him. That man had used him like a tool.
As angry as he was, there was still a small voice in his head that kept telling him to stop this whole acts. The tiny voice kept saying that they were punishing Sirius the wrong way. Remus didn't care about it, though. Sirius needed punishments for betraying his friends' trust. There's absolutely no way he'd forgive him so easily. 'How ironic..' He thought. 'I hate him so much but I also love him truly, madly, deeply. How bitterly ironic…"
Sirius Black was standing on top of astronomy tower, gazing at the stars glistening on the satin night sky. He looked weary and pale. There were even tears in his eyes. Silently, he cried. "I'm sorry Remus… I'm sorry James, Peter.. I'm so sorry" He sobbed to the wind. He longed desperately for their forgiveness. Yet, at the same time, he didn't want to be forgiven. He didn't deserve their forgiveness. He almost killed two of his best friends by sending Severus Snape through the Whomping Willow. "Is it time to give them up already?" He closed his eyes and let his tears flow freely down his sunken but handsome face.
Very slowly, Sirius made his way into the dormitory. Everyone was already sleeping by then. He crept soundlessly towards his bed and found out the scarlet curtain of his bed was already drawn. Tears found their way back to his eyes as he saw a lone blue envelope lying on his bed. Drawing the curtain shut, he buried his head into his pillow. His mother's words before he ran away from home rang again somewhere at the back of his head. "GET OUT AND DON'T COME BACK! YOU'RE WORTHLESS! BLOOD TRAITOR, ABOMINATION, SHAME OF MY FLESH!!!"
He couldn't help but smiled. 'As much as I hate to say this, ' he thought, 'I guess Mum was right all along about the worthless part. What a shame…' With that last thought, Sirius Black had tears sliding silently down his face. No one noticed, of course…
The next day, third years and up had a trip to Hogsmeade. While everyone was having fun, Sirius chose to stay behind. He hid himself in the potions dungeon, drowning himself in piles of books. He read, and read, and read but nothing seemed to make sense at all. He continued reading until late in the evening. He didn't even have his lunch. Sighing, he closed his eyes. James, Remus and Peter must be having a lot of fun in Honeyduke or Three Broomsticks. 'Peter…Remus… James…'
"Uhh??" Remus Lupin stopped dead in his track. For a while, his eyes went blank; his face emotionless. "What's wrong, Moony?" Peter asked, frowning in concern. James had the same look in his eyes too. "You just… Zoned out. Are you okay?" Remus managed a faint smile. "N—Nothing, it's just that…that…I heard Sirius…" Peter and James exchanged odd looks.
"What do you mean you heard him?"
"I… I don't know. It's just.. AHH, forget about this nonsense! Let's get something in Honeyduke!"
Sirius stared at the letter he just wrote. The letter was thicker than the previous ones. He didn't know why but… He felt the need to pour everything out on that particular piece of parchment. He looked up as he heard the howling of the wind outside. He knew at once that it was going to rain. Finally, he thought. The sky's going to cry with me. The howl reminded him of Moony, the wolf he had come to love with all his heart. He'd lost him before he even had him. How could he be such an idiot?!
But he'd be disgusted if I knew, I dare bet, his mind told him. So, smiling bitterly, he continued writing another paragraph. The students will be coming back anytime soon.
Remus shifted uncomfortably in his seat on the train. They were on their way back to Hogswart. Lightning flashed, thunder roared and the Earth shook. Peter jumped slightly every time the thunder roared. James, on the other hand, was staring straight out of the window. "Something's not right," he whispered, barely audible to the ears of others. Remus heard him pretty well, though. After all, he was a werewolf. "What's not right, Prongs?"
As if on cue, a very loud thunder shook the poor land violently, throwing students off their seat. The train halted immediately. Students, the girls especially, screamed madly as the light went out. A concerned female voice echoed throughout the compartments. I was Minerva McGonagall's voice.
"ALL STUDENTS PLEASE REMAIN IN YOUR SEATS. I REPEAT, ALL STUDENTS PLEASE REMAIN IN YOUR SEATS. THANK YOU."
"What the hell just happened?!" Peter squeaked, much like the rat he was in his Animagus form. "REMUS!" James shouted. Their eyes widened as they saw, in the lack amount of light, Remus Lupin was clutching his head with shaking hands.
"Remus! Moony!! Great Merlin, what's wrong??!!"
"HELP! Professor McGonagall! Anybody! HELP!"
Almost immediately, Professor McGonagall was at their door; whispering "Lumos". As the compartment was bathed in magical light, Remus' hands stopped shaking. "Mr. Lupin, can you hear me?"
"Are you okay?"
McGonagall let out a sigh of relief. "Well, if you're okay then.. Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew, I must advise you to avoid panicking too quickly. Stay here and ONLY here until we sort out everything. Now if you would excuse me…" With that, she left. The three boys composed themselves and sat quietly on their seats. "I heard a voice… Someone was screaming. "
"What?" James and Peter asked in unison.
"I don't know who it was. But… I heard something crashed, like glasses smashing. Then everything faded to black. He screamed no more."
Remus' story didn't make sense. "Moony, I think you're too tired. The full moon was last week, after all," James suggested. "Yeah," Peter agreed, "you're just hearing things. I heard no boys screaming and nothing broke." Remus hesitated for a while before nodding in agreement. "I hope you're right. I hope to whoever's driving the bus up there that you're right…"
A few minutes later, everything turned back to normal. Everyone sighed in relief. Somewhere at the back of Remus' heart, he felt so wrong. That scream… It was very familiar. Could it be---
No! Don't even think about him!
'Ahh, but you ARE thinking about him~' His practical side mocked.
Shut up! I won't think about him!
'But you can't help it, can you? You love him way too much!'
I DO NOT LOVE SIRIUS BLACK!
'There, you said his name, yay!'
Would you just SHUT THE HELL UP?!!
'Language, young man. By the way, I AM you, so I'll always be in your head!'
FOR ONCE, JUST SHUT THE f**k UP!!!!
'Oww, your language hurt my poor ears! Okay, I'll shut up but admit it. YOU LOVE SIRIUS BLACK!'
I'll never love a traitor!
'He's not a traitor and you know it. He's just a mere mortal. Being mortal means he's not perfect. Human makes mistake all the time.'
'You shouldn't make decision too fast. Think about it. I'll leave you to yourself now…'
The little voice at the back of his head faded. Before he knew it, they were already walking towards the huge castle that was Hogswart School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As soon as they reached the castle, they were ordered to go straight to their dormitories after dinner. The Great Hall looked darker than usual, Remus wondered why. They ate dinner silently. No one opened their mouths, unlike usual. The first and second years looked shaken. Everything felt weird. Remus scanned the Gryffindor table. It was then that he noticed Sirius wasn't there.
As if reading Remus' mind, James put a reassuring hand on Remus' shoulder. "That prat must be finishing another letter to you, I'm sure." Remus just shrugged. The students finished their meal and were ordered to return to their dormitories at once.
Professor Albus Dumbledore was walking towards the three Marauders, looking very concerned. "Mr. Potter, I need to have a word with you. Mr.Pettigrew and Mr.Lupin, please return to your dormitories right away. Now Mr.Potter, if you'd follow me…" "Y—Y—Yes, Sir," James stuttered. He cast a worried look to Remus and Peter before following the Headmaster. Had Dumbledore found out that he was the one who set a very large amount of dungbombs in Slytherin Common Room? Oh, crap! I'm doomed! He thought.
But to his surprised, they weren't going to the Headmaster's office. They were heading straight to the Hospital Wing. "Headmaster, may I ask what---" James words died as Dumbledore opened the door to the Hospital Wing. He dropped the bag he was holding at the sight that greeted him. "Dear God…"
Remus and Peter was feeling very annoyed with the odd looks their fellow Gryffindors were giving them. Some of them whispered to each other while either pointing their fingers secretly at them or glancing at them. "I don't feel very good," Peter hissed under his breath. "Me too, Wormtail, me too…" They opened the door to their dorm and Peter went straight to his bed. Remus stared at the curtain of his bed. He's sure that there'd be another blue envelope lying on his pillow. He decided to read it this time.
He drew the curtain but to his surprise, there was no envelope. There was nothing except his pillow and some books. What the… He frowned deeply. Where's Sirius' letter to him? "No more letters, Moony." A tired yet familiar voice from behind made him jump. He turned around. "James! Gosh, you scared me~" Wait, he thought. James looked so… SAD?? "Sirius won't send you another letter, Moony." "AHA!" Remus exclaimed in mocked amusement. "So he finally give up hope, then?" James shook his head.
"No, he would like to send another letter. It's just that…He can't."
Remus' heart started to beat faster. Peter jumped off his bed to find out what was happening.
"J—James, what do you mean Sirius can't?"
"Remus, Sirius is… Sirius is…"
"Sirius is what, James?!" His tone was higher than he intended to.
"Sirius is not waking up. He's as good as…He's as good as dead."
Peter clamped his hands to his mouth; eyes wide open. Remus stood motionless. It was then that he noticed James had been crying.
== TO BE CONTINUED ==