Title: Wandless

Author: Nopporn Wongrassamee aka the Evil Author

EMail Address: EvilAuthor@aol.com

Archive: Anywhere and everywhere. Just tell me if you do.

Spoilers: Anything goes

Summary: Buffy/Potter Crossover. Willow goes shopping for a wand.

Disclaimer: Characters and concepts belong to their owners who I'm too lazy to list.

"Hello?" Willow called as she entered the dusty little shop called Ollivander's. Every wall but the window had little boxes stacked from floor to ceiling. Willow assumed there were walls behind those boxes anyway. For all she knew, there could have been more boxes going out to infinity.

"Yes, miss?" answered a little man who had the look and feel of extreme age. He had just appeared out of thin air at Willow's side. This must be Ollivander. "How may I help you?"

"Um, hi," Willow said. "I was told I could pick up a wand here? Y'know, to do magic with. Not that I need a wand, mind you, but wands seem fashionable around these parts."

"Yes, of course," Ollivander said. He pulled out some measuring tape and started measuring Willow for all sorts of things. "What is your preferred wand hand?"

"Um, right I guess."

With that, Ollivander turned away and began rummaging for some wands. In the meantime, the tape continued to measure Willow all by its lonesome. In fact, it was getting down right rude, rubbing up against some sensitive spots.


"What happened to my measuring tape?" Olivander asked, rushing back.

"Beats me," Willow lied, looking down at a small pile of ashes that had not been there before.

"Hmph, no matter, no matter," Olivander said. "I have a spare. Try this one." He handed Willow a wand. "Beechwood with hair of unicorn. Eleven inches. Quite flexible."

"Um, try it?" Willow asked, holding the wand awkwardly.

"Just give it a wave."

"Oh, okay." Willow gave the wand an experimental wave. She felt a surge of power welling up within her.

The wand in her hand exploded.

So did all the boxes lining the walls.

"YOWCH!!!" Willow waved her smarting hand, dropping the remains of the wand Ollivander had handed her.

"Oh dear, oh dear," Ollivander fretted. "Broken? That's never happened before. We'll just have to try another wand." He rummaged through the debris and came up with another wand. This one was broken as well, one end peeled back like a banana. "Broken?" He dug out another wand. "Broken?" His voice climbed higher in pitch as he frantically searched for a still intact wand. "Broken? Broken! Broken broken broken broken!"

"Um, is everything all right?" Willow asked nervously.

"All right? All right?" Ollivander screeched back at her. He looked as if he would have been tearing out his hair except that he didn't have much hair to begin with. Plus his hands were full of shattered wands. "My entire stock of wands has been destroyed and YOU BROKE THEM ALL!"

"I did?" Willow squeaked.


Willow found herself quickly hustled out into the street. The door was slammed shut behind her. A CLOSED sign magically appeared in the display window, followed closely by a YOU BREAK IT, YOU BOUGHT IT sign.

The door opened briefly and Ollivander's head appeared. "I'll be sending your bill by owl!" His head disappeared as he slammed the door again.

Willow sighed. There must have been THOUSANDS of wands in there.