All Your Base Really Do Belong To Us Now
An odd idea put into motion by Tuxedo Jack

* * * * * * * * *

Cats sat back on his ship and pulled his cloak around himself, muttering about
the coldness of the place. "Damn, man, get the heater fixed!"

His first officer nodded and sent a message to engineering. "They're doing
so now, sir. They estimate it'll take them an hour or so."

"Now the enemy's going to see me with a cloak on... Oh, well, it's more
dramatic that way." He turned to the science officer. "Are they within
comm range yet?"

The officer nodded.

"Good!" Cats's finger hovered over a small button, and then, with a decisive blow,
he struck.

* * *

Several light-seconds away...

A massive blast rocked the S.S. Essess, and the whole ship went into pandemonium.

"What happen?"

"Someone set up us the bomb!"

The captain turned back and forth, trying to see what could be done for his ship.

"We get signal."

His shocked face was just the surface of his emotions. "What!"

The comm officer jabbed at a button on his console. "Main screen turn on!"

With that, the majestic image of Cats floated into view, much to the dismay of
the captain. "It's you!"

* * *

Cats sighed internally and then spoke. "How are you gentlemen!"

He paused a second to let his evil statement sink in, then continued. "All your base
are belong to us." He waited another moment for the effect, and then went on. "You
are on the way to destruction."

The captain, still in denial, spat out a response - "What you say!"

"You have no chance to survive make your time," Cats coolly responded, then laughed
as his comm officer cut the feed.

"Move Zig! Move Zig! Move Zig! Launch all Zig for great justice," the captain
practically screamed as his ship tore itself apart.

"You know what you doing," the first officer agreed. "Take off every Zig."

The ship exploded, leaving debris among the stars.

* * *

Back on his ship, Cats sat down. "What's next?"

The first officer passed him a list.

"Damn, all these ships?" Cats sighed. "Tell me again why we decided to wage
war against the Land of People Who Can Only Speak Broken English?"

* * *

END

Tuxedo Jack
Completed 10/23/02
Released 9/6/03

* * * * * * * * * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Why am I releasing this so long after I completed it? I have absolutely no idea.
In retrospect, it was a bad idea to begin with, but since I've had a summer of inactivity,
I felt that I owed everyone something, and this was the first thing that came to mind
after the next chapter of "The Kyoto Liddo-Kun" and another godawful Love Hina fusion.

Anyways, be on the lookout. With my new USB pin drive, I can take my writing to any
computer and work on it anywhere, and it's _wonderful_. Ja!

Tuxedo Jack
September 9th, 2003