When Ishizu had to clean her room

Warnings/notes : slightly weird, Malik/Marik, strong hints at sex, major oocness.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 17th july 2003, by Misura

This fic may be seen as a companion-fic to 'When Yugi had to clean his room' and 'When Bakura had to clean his room'.

Extra note : I have Ishizu, Malik and Marik living in one house.

**********

"This place is a total mess." Ishizu stated, looking in disgust at the floor of the living room, that was littered with magazines, food packages, clothes and other objects she wasn't sure she wanted to know the use for.

There was no reply from either Malik or Marik, who were, to all appearances, making out on the couch. Fighting down an urge to order them to go to their bedroom, Ishizu repeated her statement, a little louder this time.

Still no answer. She sighed. Living in one house with these two was very hard on one's vocal chords. Hers had to be calloused by now.

"I SAID : THIS PLACE NEEDS TO BE CLEANED!"

No reaction. At least, she *thought* Malik's slightly breathless "Oooh, do that again!" wasn't meant for her. Tapping her foot, she frowned.

There was nothing else she could do. Walking over to the couch, she reached out and grabbed both boys at their ear. *That* did get a response.

"Ouch!"

"Ow!"

"Oh, I'm sorry." Ishizu smiled sweetly. "Did I hurt you?"

"What do you want?" Malik inquired, glaring. Experience had taught him whining that yes, being yanked around at one's ear *did* hurt, didn't really make much of an impression on Ishizu.

"And why were you watching us?" Marik added. Though he wasn't sure about his hikari, Marik had heard Ishizu's earlier announcement, and he had a pretty good idea of what she wanted from them. He had decided an attack was the best defense.

"Yeah, why?" Malik echoed, after a mental prodding from his yami.

"Don't you know the meaning of the word 'privacy'?" Marik was beginning to warm up to the subject. "What kind of pervert are you?"

"Yeah." Malik nodded.

Ishizu gave them another sugary smile. "Do you, by any chance, know where you are?"

"Uhm ... in Egypt?" Malik said hopefully.

Marik kept quiet, mentally calculating how much time he and Malik would need to reach the relative safety of their bedroom. It was too long.

"You are," Ishizu explained patiently, "in the livingroom."

"So?" Malik gave her a blank stare. Marik still hadn't figured out if his hikari was faking this kind of brainlessness around his sister or if it was real. Malik hadn't been the same since their defeat, but he had been a genius before. Perhaps it was just Ishizu's influence.

"So?" Ishizu sounded like she was going to yell again.

"Yes, Ishizu, what's wrong with us being in the livingroom?" Marik tried to make his voice sound soothing, but he couldn't keep a taunting undertone out of it. It was fun to bait Ishizu, even if his ears always hurt for days after.

"It's *our* livingroom after all." Malik smirked. "I mean, if it was someone else's ... "

"We live here too, you know." Marik nodded, wondering why Malik was shooting him an angry look as if he had just said something stupid.

"I'm so glad to hear you admit that." Ishizu cooed. Marik knew they were in trouble. He glanced to the opening of the door again, too far away.

"You see," she continued, "since you live here, it's nothing but reasonable you do something to keep this house inhabitable, don't you agree?"

Malik nodded, giving Marik a near-unrepressable urge to smack him.

"Therefore, you two guys are going to help me clean." Ishizu beamed at them, as if she had just told them the best of news. Marik noticed however that she had shifted her position a little.

They'd never make it to their room alive.

They probably wouldn't even make it halfway to the door.

"But ... " Malik protested weakly. Marik's silence told him his yami was either hatching a plot to allow their escape or had given up all hope so he decided he might as well try something of his own. Not that he expected it to work.

"Yes?" Ishizu studied her nails.

"But we were *busy*!" Malik whined, coming up with about the worst excuse Marik had ever heard. He had used it himself too sometimes, of course, only *not* to Ishizu. She was one of the few people he couldn't charm with a simple yet sexy smile, because ... because she was Ishizu.

"Hm, I see." Ishizu nodded. "I suppose I'll be nice to you for once then."

Marik's head snapped up. She was actually going to let them get away with that?

"You can continue what you were doing in the *privacy* of your bedroom."

Marik felt his jaw drop.

Ishizu turned around. And turned again, holding a broom and a dusting cloth.

"*After* you have thoroughly cleaned the house, of course. Isn't that nice of me?"

"Very." Marik growled, snatching the broom out of her hand.

"That's not what I wanted!" Malik sniffled.

This time, Marik did smack him.

"Get to work, you idiot!" he hissed. "The sooner we're done, the sooner we're out of here."

"That's the spirit, Marik." Ishizu nestled herself in her favorite chair with a magazine. "Oh, don't forget to dust over there, Malik."

*****

They had cleaned the livingroom.

They had cleaned the basement.

Now, they were cleaning the attic, while Ishizu was still lounging in her chair in the livingroom. She had had Malik bring her a drink too, which he had grumblingly done.

One day, Marik swore, he'd exact a bloody revenge for the humiliations of this day.

"You think we're done yet?" Malik eyed the attic doubtfully. It was mainly a storage room for all the junk they wanted to keep around for some reason.

Marik snorted. "You think she'll ever come and check?"

Malik shrugged. "Perhaps."

"Yeah, she's sadistic enough."

"Have you ever considered moving out?"

"Sometimes."

"Can you cook?"

"No."

"Damn. Me neither."

Marik sighed. "Nothing to it then. Let's go lock ourselves in our bedroom before she thinks of something else she wants us to do for her."

They were halfway when Ishizu's cheerful voice called out to them there was some grocery shopping that needed to be done.

~OWARI~