"Charades Is Not A Contact Sport!"

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Doctor Who belongs to the BBC, and I'm not making any money from this.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This started out as a drabble, but it grew and grew and grew…

They were in the library. It was Benny's turn. She held up one finger.

"One word! One word!" Ace and the Doctor chorused together. Benny pulled a funny face.

"A clown!" The Doctor guessed.

"A mime!" Ace guessed.

Benny shook her head. She mimed closing an umbrella. She tucked the imaginary umbrella under one arm and marched forward with a comically determined expression on her face.

The Doctor frowned. "I think – "

"The Doctor!" Ace shouted simultaneously, and fell off her chair laughing. "The other one, before he changed into this one!" she said from the floor.

"I get no respect," he muttered.

"Respect has to be earned, Professor!" Benny told him wickedly.

"We'll see about that," he said, and was out of his chair and on her in less than a second.

"Stop it! Stop it!" she yelled as he tickled her mercilessly.

"I've got his coat, I've got his coat!" Ace suddenly chanted, snatching the green velvet frock coat from the chair where he'd left it. "Let's see what he's got in his pockets, let's see what he's got in his pockets!" she continued in that same singsong voice. The Doctor yelped and abandoned the still-shrieking Benny. "Look, what's this?" Ace asked, holding up some unnamable alien object.

"Give me that!" Ace danced nimbly out of his reach, tossing the object over his head to Benny. "Aah! You'll break it!"

"I've got it, I've got it!" Benny echoed Ace's singsong tone, holding the object over her head triumphantly.


"Ooo, what's this?" Ace asked. He spun around to see her wearing his frock coat. "Fooled you!" she said, holding up her empty hands.

"I've got it, I've got it!" Benny continued, waving the object around teasingly.

"Benny, give me that right now!"

"Or what?" she asked, jumping up onto a chair and leaping from it to the sofa to elude his grasp.

"Hey, he's got a condom in his pocket!" Ace announced.

"I do not!" He thought for a moment. "Do I?"

"No. But it sounded good, didn't it?" He lunged for her, catching her and pinning her against the wall.

"Give me my coat!"

"I've got it, I've got it!" Benny chanted behind him.

"Ow! Bugger off!"

"Give me my coat!" He had Ace's hands up and pinned to the wall. She leaned forward and tried to bite his nose.

"I've got it, I've got it!"

"Some help here!" Ace called out. Benny came over, put her hands on the Doctor's shoulders and jumped onto his back, locking her legs around his waist.

"Aaa! Get off!" Ace bit his nose. "Ow!" Benny was still hanging onto his back like a bucking bronco rider, giggling like a lunatic into his left ear. Her breath was hot and moist. Benny had him completely pinned against Ace, who was pinned against the wall.

Nowhere to go.

Full body contact.

Two lovely women, both with their bodies pressed up against his, both very hot… and very soft… and very… very… very…!

Oh my.

Ace had stopped struggling and now stared up at him with wide eyes.

"Time out!" she suddenly called. Benny met her eye over the Doctor's head.

"What?" she mouthed silently. Ace's face was very red.

"I think we should go back to charades!"