Harvest Moon

Radio Choas

By: Belldandy'sKeiichi

Note: [any text in here is a thought text]

Author's Time: Next Chapter is up! Enjoy this one and try not to be too offended...I promise you will see your revenge.

Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own Harvest Moon...


K1: Welcome back to 71.08 DATC, with me- Belldandy'sKeiichi or K1 for short. Also, I'm accompanied with Stormrider or SR. Ah...more abbreviated names...there should be a topic about it...

SR: You know it won't be the greatest topic in the world right?

K1: Hehe...I know...but hey! It's that time again where we get the HM cast here and talk about a random topic! Well, I can't really say it's random this time because today's episode is a special one. But before I revile the pre-selected topic, I need to take this time to discuss the rules...since last time the HM cast was here, total havoc was unleashed. So first! Be respectful to one another. As in, don't give each other the single finger salute to everyone...Second! Try not to piss people off...I mean seriously, what can be worse if you are public enemy number one in the whole room? Hmm...Well, everything else falls in those two rules so...SR! What's our topic today?!

SR: So! Today's topic is pretty general: Girls.

K1: That's right! Topic at hand: Girls! Who are they? Why do we need them? If women and man were created equal, how come it's so hard for us guys to get along? I mean, it's all very confusing if you ask me. That's why we are having this topic discussed. Now, for our guest. Our first guest is very hard working, very reliable, and very very hard to get along with: Jack!

Jack: Heh, very funny K1...

K1: Now our next guest is a very likeable guy. He plays it cool with the ladies and seems to know a lot about them: Kai!

Kai: That's right!

K1: Now the man next to him hates Kai's guts. He works with chickens, which by the way, isn't the greatest job in the world. He is very protective and he seems to always smell like chicken feed: Rick!

Rick: Yeah...it's not...hey!

K1: Now our next guest is a real mystery man. He's use to live in the city and now lives in mineral village, helping his grandpa. He doesn't talk a lot and is normally seen in the library: Gray!

Gray: That's not half true. I talk a lot.

K1: Now our next guest...well, um...really doesn't have a first name. Really! He doesn't! But he goes by the name Docter!

Doc: Well...I do have a name...

K1: Right, and I have web feet...

Rick: You have web feet also!

Everyone stared directly as Rick.

K1: Ok, I'm going to continue before sick images fill my mind...our next guest is a wanderer. He's from the city and currently lives in the Inn with Ann. In many ways, you can say he's a real loner: Cliff!

Cliff: Hey! I'm not a real loner...I have friends...

Jack: I hate to disappoint you Cliff but imaginary friends don't count!

K1: Hey hey hey! What did I tell you about the rules huh? Now settle down everyone....

Kai: Um...K1? Suppose that the girls hear our conversation and run to the studio...can the girls bust in here and kill us?

K1: *thinks for awhile* Well...that's where SR comes in!

SR: What?

K1: You see, if, at any time we are attacked, SR can be used as a shield and in some cases, a floatation device!

SR: I'm a human being! Not some seat cushion!

K1: Well! Time to start this conversation! Jack, how about you start things off. Remember, the topic is girls.

Jack: Right. Girls, I mean, why do we really need them? All they really do is get in the way or steal your money when you least expect it.

Doc: You know not all girls a like that...

Jack: *stares at the Doc* O really? Did you ever wonder what happen to that 2000g you said you "lost"? I'll tell you where it went! It went down Elli's pocket and she probably got herself a necklace or something.

Doc: Actually...it went down her shirt and some of it went down her...

Everyone stared at the Doc

K1: Heh...ok! Too much information right there! Just continue on your thought Jack.

Jack: Ok. Like I said, all girls really want to do is use you and steal your money. But we all know what they are really there for right?

Cliff: For the company?

Rick: For the encouragement?

Kai: For the love?

Jack: NO! You pencil-neck geeks! To make us guys feel good!

SR: What? Now that can't be true...

K1: Heh, um, Jack? I have to say that what you are saying is very offensive...it's sexism but to a new level. And you do realize that over 40,000+ can hear your every word?

Jack: Shut up, I'm just getting started. And all they really do is buy clothes that they clearly don't need. And shoes! O my god! How many pairs of shoes can one girl have?! If you ask me, girls are a nuisance to us guys!

K1: OK! I think I will cut you off right there Jack. Not that you're giving a good augment and all...it's because someone could file a police report or something like that...Now let's move from the women hater to the women lover, Kai. Kai, if you will, please give your side of the story.

Kai: Gladly, you see, women are great to have around. Not only do they make us guys feel good, it seems that when they are around they make guys work twice as hard. And besides, what about mating? In order to have offspring, you need to have sex with a girl. The problem with you Jack is that you never experience true love.

SR: You know, in many ways Kai says the truth. In order to have offspring, a female companion is required.

Kai: Yup, that's the main reason why we need girls...and that...a to hell with it! It's really all about sex!

All the guys cheered except for some guys.

K1: *slaps his fore head* Good lord...you're just as bad as Jack! Doc? Care to say anything?

Doc: Gladly...women aren't play things for our entertainment you guys. They are human being like me and you and they deserve our respect. *reaches into his pocket* Hey...where's my money?!

Jack: Elli probably took it and ran off with it...and if I remember correctly, I believe I saw here with a new dress on today...

Doc: *thinks for awhile* That bitch! I'm with them! Women are good for nothing!

K1: *sweat drop* Wonderful...now the Doc has join this rebellion... I think I should tell everyone that I'm not a womanizer... just for the record...

Just then, someone was pounding on the door and the voices of the HM girls are on the other side.

Gray: Way to go you jackasses! Way to piss them off! *runs to the door and holds it back*

Everyone else: *runs over to Gray and helps him guard the door*

Ann's voice: Dammit you guys! When we get in there you are so dead!

Cliff: O my god! Ann is pissed!

SR: So this is how I'm going to die...

K1: Come on you guys! All for one and one for all! No retreat! No surrender!

Just then, the door swigged open and the girls rushed into the room, holding foreign objects in their hands.

Rick: Good bye cruel world...

K1: Wait! Before you kill us! I just have one thing to say! ...it's all Jack's fault!

Jack: What!!!

Doc: *points at Jack* That's right! If you're going to kill someone, kill him!

Kai: Yeah! He said most of that crap about girls!

Jack: What a minute! You blame this crap on me!

Doc: *staring at Elli* Hey! She did get a new dress!

K1: Um...girls? Before you do anything drastic, how about we make a deal?

All the girls looked at each other.

Karen: We're listening...

K1: Yeah! So...um...how about you get your say about boys? Like, what you don't like about them? As a matter of fact, the subject is now about guys. So take the floor girls!

All the girls looked at each other and took a seat.

Karen: Ok, I think I'll start. Guys are nothing but lazy, inconsiderate, morons that takes them five days to do repair work on their hair...

Rick: *starts fixing his hair then looks back at everyone* Whew, don't worry! My hair's alright!

Ann: Yeah, and they do nothing but stare at our goods all day, thinking how long it would take them to get us in bed...

Doc: *still looking at Elli* I knew it! It is a new dress!

SR: Um...Doc? Kinda late for that dude...

Popuri: *licks her ice cream* And if you want to talk about being used, how about when a guy ditches you after sex? Huh?! Has that ever happen to you guys? *looks the other girls*

Silence fills the studio

Popuri: Uh! Metaphorically speaking of course! Hehe...

Karen: ...now that's fucking discussing...but never the less! Guys are as just as bad as girls! But more...

Jack: Hey! What's with that "but more..." comment at the end?!

Ann: Because it's true! The only thing that you guys ever think of is sex, boobs, and beer...I mean, how juvenile. You're all a bunch of... *stops, realizing that Cliff was staring at her again* *Punches Cliff through a wall* Damn you, you pervert!

SR: O my god! Our wall! This is coming out of our pockets...

Cliff: *on the floor* Medic...

Kai: Hey now, it's not like you don't do the same thing! Always, fluttering your eyebrows at us and staying close to us, but mostly saying close to our wallets...

K1: Calm down you guys!

Karen: O that's rich coming from a guy that comes down to our village every summer. A guy that tries to get laid every summer and runs off back home when he fails A guy that lives with his mother.

Kai: Hey! What are you trying to get at!

Jack: Damn...I'm hungry... *looks over a Popuri and takes her ice cream cone*

Popouri: Hey! That's mine!

Jack: *licks the ice cream cone* O really? *Sticks the ice cream cone on top of his crotch* Then come and get it then! You fucking bitch!

K1: Ok! I think time's up! So what have we learned today?

All the girls: Boys are dorks!

All the guys: Girls are sluts!

K1: Um...well, I learn that I should never pick the topics ever again...I think I'll stick to the hat...Well, I would like to thank the guys and the gals of HM for coming today...

*Everyone starts fighting in the background*

Kai: O my god! Popuri's trying to bite me back!

K1: And from all of us, me, SR, and the rest, we would like to say...

Ann: Let's throw K1 out the window!

K1: *sweat drops* Um...save me?


Yeah yeah, I know...I never get a break at the end huh? Well, review plz!