Title:  Cat Fight Club

Disclaimer:  Don't own, ain't getting paid

Pairing:  J/H

Rating:  PG

Archive: If you want just ask – I will freely give.

Summary:  A re-write of the great J/H episode, Cat Fight Club. (It is my favorite episode.)

Credit:  This one is for Eoyore!  She wanted a more kissy ending.  (She probably wanted more than I gave her ;))  But this was the best that I can do.  I wanted to keep it realistic.

A/N:  Hope you guys like.  Tell me if you do.  OH and if anyone else has any requests or ideas feel free to email me.  I'm having a problem working out my own ideas at the moment.  (I promise I'm going to write the next chapter to Nightmare today though)

Truth be told Steven Hyde hadn't really hated Jackie since the prom.  Okay fine, to be perfectly honest (even though he would deny it if it got out) he'd never hated Jackie.  He found her love for Kelso annoying, her upbringing abrasive, and her voice way too peppy.  But he didn't hate her.  He was supposed to.  Hating her was a very Hyde thing to do.  So most days he didn't think of her much at all.  Just to be safe.

One thing he would admit, she was hot.  She was definitely hot. 

So he wasn't lying when he said he would rather spend time with her than Laurie.  He really did hate Laurie.  

The whole thing with Kelso really made him sick.  He never understood why girls fell for his shit.  He wasn't that good looking.  And it was a total waste that Jackie allowed him to walk all over her heart.  Not that he cared about her heart, mind you.  

She just always turned to him whenever it was stepped on.  And then ten minutes later she would be right back where she started. Right back with Kelso.  Like he said, it was annoying. 

When she asked him to teach her to be Zen he couldn't help but want to.  Laurie was such a bitch.  And Jackie wasn't very good at hiding her emotions.  She was not like him.  He could bury his feelings with the best of them.  Sometimes he hid them so well even he couldn't find them. 

The thing about pushing down emotions though was that sometimes they will resurface.  Like pushing one of those big bouncing balls under water, as long as you hold it –it will stay.  But if you let go, if you forget, let your guard down, it will naturally float to the top. 

Hyde was pretty good at keeping his guard up and sitting on the ball.  He didn't hold out much hope that Jackie would be. 


"Again" Hyde insists watching Jackie as she sits on the deep freeze.  She is wearing that dress, the one with the thin straps.  It makes her look very young and very innocent.  And he wonders when he started finding that appealing.  He usually likes his girls worldly and jaded. 

"What-ev-er" Jackie diligently, if not enthusiastically, responds.

"More aloofness – I'm not buying it."

She protests.  He knows that his teachings are against her nature.  Jackie is so open, so honest.  See people think that honesty and niceness are one in the same. They are not.  That is one thing they do have in common.  Both of them tell it like it is, and don't always think about how it affects others. 

"You can say much by saying very little small Grasshopper" he reveals confusing her more. 

That is not entirely true.  He has spent his entire life not saying much.  And very few people have listened close enough to hear all that he is not saying.  His parents weren't very good role models even before they left.  And he was too old by the time the Forman's took him in to learn anything from there accepting natures.  So he has gotten use to hiding behind his Zen.  He lets people think that his burns are merely burns and that his help is reluctant at best. 

Like Prom night.  He let everyone believe that he was only taking Jackie to get her to stop crying.  He let Jackie think it.  He didn't say much that evening but his actions revealed more than he would ever admit.  It was a good thing that no one noticed. 

"Ambiguity" he gets her to repeat along with him.  It is the next lesson.  The next little piece of Hyde he is willingly giving her. 

"Ask me if I want to go to a movie tonight?" he demands.

She obeys enthusiastically and immediately.  It makes him smile in spite of the contradictory example that might set. 

"That's cool." He offers.  He explains how this answer conveys very little of the true nature of how he might feel.  She doesn't know that he really wouldn't mind going to the movies with her sometime.  She probably never will. 

They try it.  And he can tell she is very proud of herself for catching on so quickly.  He is proud of her as well.


They celebrate in the circle, as they celebrate most good things.  Like birthdays, holidays, Tuesday afternoon's.  Yeah those were good.

His thoughts get fuzzy as they always do and he thinks about how much he wouldn't want to be Kelso.  Kelso is dumb. Kelso is negligent.  Kelso doesn't know a good thing when he has it. 

Fez begins to talk about the "something different" in Jackie.

"She's Zen man; I've taken her under my wing.  I'm running a dojo of coolness.  Jackie demonstrate."

She can't she is too far gone.  She doesn't do this often.  She is a light weight. And Kelso always kept her out of the circle so he could talk about what ever girl he was trying to cheat on her with.  Jackie starts to babble and then laugh.  

Hyde feels a weird sickness in the pit of his stomach.  She is sweet.  He just thought the word sweet.  He is so screwed.  Maybe teaching the art of Zen makes you lose your grip on your own.  He could feel the bouncing ball that was his emotions begin to slip. 

He liked Jackie Burkhart.  Maybe he always had.  Who could tell? 

He needed some fresh air.


Sitting in his chair Hyde watches Jackie flip through her magazine casually.  He sees Laurie coming and wonders how his lessons took. 

Laurie starts up, calling Jackie a baby –her usual tactic.  When Jackie remains cool he is impressed. 

He is less impressed when Laurie brings out the big guns and takes credit for stealing Jackie's "one true love". 

Something in that statement pisses the girl off. 

Hyde couldn't believe it.  The fur was flying.  Jackie was winning.  The girl was a spitfire and he suddenly thought maybe she was his type. 

"Jackie you are my hero.  You hit her in the eye." Eric states. 

Obviously Hyde's opinion wasn't the only one to be altered by today's events. 

"It wasn't very Zen –huh Hyde?" Jackie asks apologetically. 

Any other day he might burn her.  But for some reason that is the last thing he wants to do.  "Hey where Zen ends, ass kicking begins"

She smiles and he is suddenly really happy with himself.  And happy with her.  The ball of his emotions is floating away silently unnoticed. 


"Hey Jackie, can I talk to you for a minute." Hyde asks as they are all parting for the night.  Eric glances back oddly as he and Donna continue out the door. 

"Sure" the girl responds. 

He thinks it odd that they became friendly so quickly. 

"So I was wondering, what was it that set you off." He manages to make his comment sound offhand and merely curious. 

"Huh?" she asks obviously confused.


Comprehension dawns and she cocks her head to the side thinking "I guess it was what she said about Kelso being the only guy I'd ever love."

Now it was his turn to be confused. "Huh?"

"I didn't like her saying that he was my soul-mate and that I had lost him.  He wasn't my soul-mate."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing.  Was this Jackie talking?  "Since when?"

"Since I realized that I could do better."

"You did?" he motioned for her to sit down.  She did and he sat beside her on the couch.  Touching her knee without meaning to or noticing.  "So then why all that crap with Laurie?"

"She is a bitch, you said so yourself".

"So it is really not about Kelso?" he asked shifting.  His leg was now touching hers.

"Not everything is". She said rolling her eyes.

"Since when?" he asked again.

She cut her eyes and gave him a warning glare.  "Do I have to kick your ass too?" 

He laughed.  This whole conversation was weird.  Weird but funny.  And kind of nice.  "Are you kidding?  I saw you use those nails"

She joined in the laughter.  Double weird.

"Look I wanted to thank you for teaching me Zen, and for just being nice to me.  I know you hate me and you didn't have to help." Jackie offered sweetly.

He was shocked.  He didn't think she actually thought he hated her.  He thought she knew he was faking.  Taking off his glasses he looked her in the eye.  "Jackie, I don't hate you."  Shifting again he found himself moving away this time, averting his exposed eyes "I never have".

Now it was Jackie's turn to look shocked.  She got another huge smile on her face and reached out to touch his cheek and make him look at her again. "I'm glad Steven."

He willing followed her hand taking in the look in her own eyes.  They were warm, filled with some unidentifiable emotion.  She had called him Steven again.  She had done that Prom Night.  He wondered why the name that he hated, refused to allow people to use, coming from her lips made him pleased.  "Whatever" he offered more because he had no clue what to say than for any Zen reasons. 

She smiled knowingly, scooting closer. She knew his game now.

He didn't know what to do about that.  Why had he done that?  Why had he let her in?  Now things could get messy.  If he didn't hate her….If she didn't hate him….

"Steven?" she asked reaching over and touching his face again.  Her hands were warm, unbelievably tiny, and soft. 

"Hmmm?" was all he could manage.

"Would you like to kiss me?" she asked quietly, almost hesitantly, like she was worried that at any moment the spell would be broken.  Like she was afraid that he would hate her again.

But he had never hated her.  And having heard the question out loud he realized that he did.  But Hyde wasn't good at change. He wasn't good at admitting things.  And it was just yesterday that he and Jackie were enemies.  So he did the best he could.  "That's cool".

Yesterday that might have gotten a different response.  But today she knew Zen.  Ignoring the wording of the question she leaned over and put her lips to his instead. 

At first the kiss was awkward.  Hyde figured it was because Jackie had only ever really kissed Michael, and he had probably always taken the lead.  On his own part he was kind of still too shocked at the situation to use his usual finesse. But when her tiny hands touched his chest and she started to pull back, he snapped out of it.  Reaching into the curly mass that was her annoyingly perfect hair he pulled her closer finding his skill and showing her what he could do. 

Whimpering softly in pleasure Jackie climbed half way in Hyde's lap. 

Oh this was good, this was definitely good.  Hyde could do this all night.  Hell he could do it for longer than that.  Maybe a whole summer.  Putting his hands around her waist he marveled at the way their tongues seemed to know what to do with very little direction from their brains.  He couldn't think.  He didn't try. 

Jackie must have though, because she pulled back.  She looked at him, smiling at the daze that must have been easily displayed on his face.  "What are we doing?" she asked.

"Saying much by saying very little?" he offered not really wanting to discuss the real world connotations of their feelings just yet.  There was just so much an old Zen master could be expected to change in one day.

The girl on top of him smiled.  She seemed to understand.  "Ohhh so this is another lesson huh?"

Smiling in return he found it impossible to sit still.  Trailing his lips down the side of Jackie's neck, he attacked her pulse point until she was once again not thinking. 

"Where Zen ends, kissing begins? She asked.

Smiling into her mouth, he thought briefly about what he was getting into.  The gang would freak.  Kelso would hate him.  Jackie would try to change his entire life.  It would be much easier to not let Zen end period. 

Jackie looked into his eyes.  She looked hopeful. 

She deserved someone better than Kelso.  And maybe he just deserved someone.  And Jackie wouldn't be easy to get rid of. 

She was hot.  And he had never hated her.  No, No he had always liked her.  Probably even before the Prom.  Taking her hand he offered a lesson that he didn't know he had in him.  "If you can't beat em', move on".