Talk Show Trauma!
Starring your favorite stars of your favorite anime!
The theme song for The View plays and the three regular hosts walk in. "Good morning," Barbara Walters starts as they all sit down, "Today we have a very special guest host, who comes all the way from Feudal Japan to be with us. Come on out, Miroku."
Miroku walks out just as she says to, his staff clinking all the way. He sits down in the empty chair and slouches. Barbara picks up her mug of coffee and took a sip. "So, how is everyone today?" she asks. "Good," the other two women reply. "Terrible," Miroku groans. "What seems to be troubling you?" Barbara asks. "Hmmm…maybe this," he says sarcastically, pointing to a red slap mark on his face. "Damn, boy," the black woman at the end of the table said. "Yeah, how'd you come across that?" the other one asked. "Sango hit me. I don't know why, either. I mean, I was just feeling her up," he said. The three women glare at him. "Damn, boy," the black woman said. They sit in an awkward silence for a few minutes. "Ah…okay, on to our first topic," Barbara stated, "Teens and sex." The woman with brown hair nods. "Mmhmm. My daughter just turned sixteen and I'm worried about her having sex," she said. "Yes," Barbara starts, "Kids are having sex at younger and younger ages." "Oh, please," Miroku scoffs. They all glare at him. "Ladies, I am nineteen, [Who the hell am I to really know?] And I am proud of the fact that I have probably go it on more times then all of you have in your lifetimes put together," he states.
Once again, they all glare at him. Miroku stares at the floor, the walls, and the glaring female audience, really anything so he doesn't have to make eye contact with them. "Ah…I know this might not be the best time to ask this, but to all you ladies watching this, will you bear my children?" he asks. "Damn, boy!" the black woman yells at him. "Oh no he didn't!" the other yells, and finally, they come to Barbara. "I think I'm beginning to understand why exactly you have that huge slap mark on the side of your face," she said evilly. The entire audience begins booing him. "You are a womanizing, chauvinistic, sexually frustrated man, Miroku," Barbara says. "Say what?" he asks. "You heard me," Barbara replies. "Mmmmhmmm," the woman with brown hair says. "Oh, can it you flannel-wearing, truck-driving, shotgun-shooting Maryland diesel dykes!" he yells. Barbara turned to the woman with brown hair. "Did he just say what I think he said?" she asks. "Mmmmmmmhmm," the woman with brown hair says with a nod. "Damn, boy," the black woman says. Miroku looks around and sees every woman in the audience giving him the death stare. Hell, he could feel women across America giving him the death stare through their TVs! He slowly stands up, ready to defend himself.
"RUSH THE STAGE!!!!!!" a woman in the audience yells. The first to charge him are Barbara Walters, the black chick, and the brunette. He smacks Barbara upside the head with his staff, easily knocking her out, and does the same to the other two. "Okay, now it's just the army of mutant lesbians," he thought. He opens his wind tunnel, but they are not sucked in. "What the hell…?" he asks, staring at his hand. They keep coming at him. "Dude…………I am soooooooooooooooooooooo screwed."
Stay tuned for the next episode!
It's Stupid Pet Tricks on Late Night with David Letterman!