(Or as I like to call it: NANI?!?)
Chapter One: Happy Birthday Ranma-kun!!
Disclaimer: I, sadly, do NOT own any characters from Ranma ½. They belong to Takahshi-sama. Who I'm sure is glad to have them, they're so kawaii at times! Anywho, The only ones I own are Ceres and Eriol. I also own this idea. It's MINE!! Mine got it? MINE! Also Yume Tenshi owns Okashi Saotome. And Sharpsnout owns Kuduo Hibiki and Emiko Yume. If I forgot anyone I'm sure I'll get yelled at for it later so I'll just let you nice people get on with the story!
OH! Before I forget, this takes place several years after the series. This means that Ranma, Ryouga and everyone else that is 16 during the series is now 21. Kuduo and Emi-chan are 19...umm..Ceres and Eriol are 21...Okashi is...20 I think....I dunno. I think Okashi is a year younger than her cousin. I'm not sure. Anyway, becuase they're all "Mature Adults" they may seem a bit out of character. It's just because they're older. You know, even Ranma has the ability to grow and mature......
This was not where he wanted to be. Tied up, blindfolded, and led by his cousin to Kami-sama knows where, followed by Akane, Ceres, Eriol, and Ryouga. This was going to be one of those nights, he could tell. One of those nights that Ceres complained about when she had to deal with Kuno at the Nekohatan.
"Where are you takin' me? Come on leggo . . . " he'd been pleading the same plea since they left the house, not that it did any good he was ignored every time.
"What's wrong Ranma-kun?" a voice suddenly cooed in his ear, "Don't like bondage?" Ranma jumped a foot in the air.
"God dammit Ceres don't do that!!" he shouted at her as the others laughed.
"Awww . . . but Ranma-kun we know each other so well why can't you call me Ceres-chan?"
"Because you'll kill me," Ceres laughed.
"Suki da Ranma, honto ni suki da."
"Are you drunk?" he asked and a frying pan to the back of the head was his answer, "Owie . . . "
"I confess my unyielding affection for you and that's the best you come up with!! I hope your birthday sucks!!"
" 'Unyielding affection?' You are drunk aren't you?"
"Iie!!! How could you ask something like that??!!"
"Ceres-san, Ranma-san, please stop. You're giving me a headache."
"Ah," Okashi said, "The voice of reason speaks."
"About time," Ryouga added. There was another sound of a frying pan coming down on someone's head, "Ow!! Eriol!"
"Give me back my frying pan!!"
"I needed it."
"I wanna go hoooooooome . . . " Ranma said plaintively, which the girls found pretty damn cute.
"Ranma-kun wo kawaii!!"
"Didn't think he had it in him . . . "
"Baka . . . "
"We're here!!" Okashi said suddenly. Ranma felt the blindfold being lifted. When he opened his eyes, his mouth dropped. They were standing in front of a club, a friggin' nightclub.
"N-n-nani?" he said weakly as Okashi hugged her cousin's shoulders.
"Happy birthday Ranma-kun!! We're taking you out drinking!"
"It was Ceres-chan's idea," Akane said.
"It would be," Ceres growled.
"Don't make me regret my generosity Saotome-san, I'm the one who's paying for all this," Ranma looked at her then did a double take, he was so concerned about the fact that they had dragged him to a club that he failed to notice what the others were wearing.
His cousin, had on tight leather pants and a tiger print halter top. The pants and shirt were so tight that it hugged every curve and dip of Okashi's body, leaving no room for imagination. Her long mahogany hair had been twisted and held up by a clip so that the end covered it and still hung to her shoulders. Her boyfriend looked slightly uncomfortable in his outfit of shiny leather pants and maroon button down shirt, although the matching maroon bandana that Ryouga was wearing made a nice touch.
Ceres looked the most different out of anyone, he bet. She exchanged her normal attire of the Chinese-combined-with-Japanese style dress and bells for an outfit that looked painted on. Her high-necked shirt ended just under her bust line and was sleeveless, her skirt barely covered her ass and had a slit up one side. Both top, bottom, and knee high boots matched Ryouga's pants for shininess. Her long, long, lavender hair was no longer in her rabbit-ear like buns and the bells were gone, instead it hung long and straight down her back. On anyone else Ranma suspected that the whole ensemble would look sluttly. Not Ceres though, she could look pretty damn sexy when she tried. Eriol's outfit was almost identical to Ryouga's only with a dark blue shirt. Eriol looked far more comfortable in it though.
His own outfit also matched Ryouga's and Eriol only with a forest green shirt. He didn't put it on himself, since it was a part of the wonderful birthday surprise they had all planned he had been blind folded while someone put it on for him. He was trying very hard not to think about who saw him naked. He briefly wondered why it didn't bother him to flash his breasts around while in girl-form but it bothered him to be seen naked while in boy-form. Ranma quickly dismissed it as he looked over Akane.
Akane's outfit was different from anything he would ever picture her as wearing. It screamed out "Bad ass". Something that her usual scowled usually did so nicely but she wasn't scowling . . . yet. She wore a leather dress that looked more Ceres's style than it did Akane's It was a Chinese style dress completely, a mandarin collar, slit running up one site giving the world a lovely view of her legs, those really short sleeves and hugged her frame in all the right places. To top it off she had fingerless leather gloves and short heeled ankle boots. Her short hair had . . . bright pink streaks in it?? Ranma's jaw dropped.
"He's surprised," Ceres murmured, "I think the pink did him in."
"You think? I was going to keep them."
"You were?" Ceres asked incredulously, "Then I must've done something right."
"You did that?" Ranma demanded. Ceres shrugged.
"Wasn't hard. She wanted something different and temporary. We had to do it just before we left so the Tendo-san wouldn't find out," Ranma paled at the thought of what Akane's father might do at the sight of his youngest daughter's hair.
"You commin' in or what?" a gruff voice asked them from the door.
"Good evening Yuki-san," Ceres said cordially and bowed, giving them all a view that gave Ryouga a nose bleed, "I hope you weren't waiting long."
"Feh, for you Misuka-san I don't mind," the burly bouncer pointed at Ranma, who was still tied up and the ends of his rope still held by Okashi, "That him?"
"Yep this is Saotome Ranma."
"Happy birthday Saotome-san," Yuki-san opened the door for them. The sounds of Nittle Grasper rushed out at them as Yuki-san waved them inside, "Try not to get too drunk and ladies? Keep an eye to yer drinks," Ceres smiled at him and bowed again, sending Ryouga's nose bleed into a new plane of intensity, before walking inside.
"I hate when she does that . . . "
"Just pinch your nose and tilt your head back Ryouga-san . . . " they followed Ceres into the loud club.
What seemed like an eternity later, it was actully about two hours tops, Ceres found Ranma sitting moodily at the bar. She pushed her way through the pulsating mass of people and made her way over. She stood infront of the martial artist for a moment then, before he could ask her what the hell she wanted, hopped up and sat on the bar, much to the bartender's dislike. The irritable man started to say something then stopped when he saw the evil look she was threatening him with.
"What's up? Why aren't you out there?" she had to shout to make herself heard over the crowd she now waved a hand to indicate. Ranma glared at her, "Are you ok?" she gave him an appraising look, "You look . . . different."
"Some bakayarou spilt his drink on me!" Ranma-chan shouted at her, "Now everyone keeps hitting on me!!"
"Nice feeling isn't it? I've been getting that too. Poor Eriol got mad and walked off."
"Akane walked off when she figured out that I was not moving."
"You haven't moved from this spot since we got here?"
"You know you could just enjoy yourself," she began searching the crowd, "Look even Ryouga found something to do," she pointed to where the Hibiki boy was dancing with Okashi, Ranma's eyes narrowed when she saw how her cousin was being touched.
"I'll kill him."
"You'd have to get over there first," Ceres pointed out, "And that of course means moving from this spot. Besides . . . I think Ryouga overdid it with the beer."
"You mean he's drunk?"
"Yeah well I got a slight buzz just from the air in here. It reeks of alcohol. Ryouga's light on his feet actully. He grabbed me for a dance during 'Shining Collection'. You would've died laughing," that got a grin out of her, "So why not go out there?"
"I don't dance."
"Bullshit," Ceres replied and hopped off the bar, she took a moment to straighten out her skirt then grabbed Ranma's hands and pulled her off her stool. Ranma swayed a little and leaned slightly on her friend, "Waoh, maybe you've had a bit too much too," Ceres frowned, "This night is going to cost a fortune . . . "
"I'm fine," Ranma replied as she shook Ceres's hands off of her, "Lemme go back to my stool."
"Iie, I'm not spending all this money if you're not going to dance. It's your birthday! You're a full adult now! Enjoy it!" Ranma allowed herself to be dragged on the dance floor, where Ceres grinned and shoved her into the arms of some guy.
"Wait Ceres!!" Ceres patted her head as she moved away, "Ceres!!" she whimpered, "Ceres-chaaaaaan??" Ranma looked up into the arms she was in and nearly passed out, "Ry-ry-Ryouga? But where'd Okashi-san go?"
"Ceres dragged her somewhere," Ranma turned her head away, Ceres was right. Ryouga had waaaaaaay too much to drink if he seemed this unconcerned with te fact that he was dancing with Ranma, dancing very intimately with Ranma in fact, "Where's Akane-san?"
"Dunno, she got mad when I wouldn't dance," Ranma shook her head, they both must be drunk, this was such a pleasant conversation.
"Ranma-chan?" she winced.
"I'm gonna be sick. Help me to the bathroom?"
"Mataku . . . "
"Where's Ranma going with Ryouga?" Eriol yelled near Ceres's ear.
"Dunno. Ryo-kun looks awful. I told him not to get too drunk. He's gonna have on hell of a hangover. They looked so kawaii together though."
"Too bad the hate each other whenever they're not drunk," Ceres looked up at her dancing partner in surprise.
"You think they hate each other? Boy are you out of it Eri-kun. Their relationship is like ours only without the sex," Eriol blushed, Ceres was too blunt when she was buzzed, or anytime for that matter. Ceres saw the blush and chuckled, "Eri-kun is so kawaii," she commented. "Demo, that's why . . . "
"Why . . . " he prompted her to continue.
"Suki da Eri-kun," Eriol smiled.
"Me too Rei-chan. Me too . . . "
"Hey you can't come in here! It's the men's room!"
"Back off," Ranma growled as she rushed to get Ryouga's head over a toilet in time. She winced as she heard the sounds of heaving and began rubbing Ryouga's back.
"Oh . . . didn't know it was like that," the guy made a hasty retreat.
"You ok Ryouga?"
"Peachy," was the sarcastic reply, Ranma kept rubbing.
"Do you wanna go home?"
"Can I?" Ranma shrugged.
"Why wouldn't you be able to?"
"I can't just leave Okashi here . . . with all these hentai no bakas . . . "
"I'll tell Eriol and he can watch her. 'Sides I don't think they'll stay much longer," Ryouga pushed himself up from the toilet seat. As soon as he was on his feet he swayed and Ranma had to catch him before his head hit the ceramic bowl, "C'mon," he said, putting Ryouga's arm around his shoulders and allowing the boy to lean heavily on him, "You staying at Ceres's place?"
"Good point," they bumped into Eriol on the way out of the bathroom, Ranma briefly took in his disheveled appearance and the lipstick stains all around his mouth.
"Is he ok?"
"Ohyaho Eriol-kuuuuuuuun...." Ryouga giggled like a mad man.
"He's drunk, I'm taking him to Ceres's."
"You coming back? The girls wanna stay for a couple more hours."
"Sure I'll come back once I take care of this idiot."
"Suki daaaaaa Eriol-kuuuuuun.....Suuuuukiiiiii daaaaaaa....."
"Er..yeah. You too buddy. Good luck Ranma."
"Suuuukiii daaaa Oooookaaaashiiiiiii......"
"Oh yeah. Ryouga's worried about Okashi. Can you keep your tongue out of Ceres's throat and keep an eye out for her?" Eriol went crimson.
"Yeah I know Ryouga-san, Suki da. Sure I'll keep an eye on her," Ryouga disentangled himself from Ranma and Eriol suddenly got an arm full of Hibiki.
"Suuuuuki daaaa," Eriol didn't have time to reply when Ryouga suddenly kissed him.
"Woah, hey!" Eriol's protests were muffled by the tongue in his mouth.
"Alright, Ryouga that's enough suki da out of you," Ranma pulled the boy off his friend and threw Ryouga's arms back over his shoulder.
"Demo suki da Eriol-kun, Ranma-chan....." Eriol stood there, a mixture of shock and embarrassment on his face.
"C'mon Ryouga you're gonin' to bed," they left Eriol there as Ryouga called out 'suki da' to anyone who would listen.
"What happened to you?" Akane sidled up to Eriol and gave him a poke in the ribs.
"Ryouga suki da'd him..." Ceres had seen the whole thing and her voice was chocking back laughter.
"It's not funny!" Eriol protested.
"Where they going?" Akane asked.
"He's brining Ryouga home. Ryouga is very drunk."
"As drunk and loving as Ryouga is right now I hope I don't come home to find them having wild monkey butt sex," the group burst into laughter at Ceres's little joke.
"Suki da lamp-chan.....suki da policeman..."
"Ryouga cut it out already!! You've been saying suki da for the past three blocks!!" Ryouga pouted as he nuzzled Ranma-chan's neck.
"Ran-chan iie love Ryo-kun?"
"Ran-chan should admit her feelings for Ryo-kun," Ryouga whispered then did something with his tongue that made Ranma yelp indignantly.
"Don't do that!!"
"Ran-chan liked it she just doesn't want to admit iiiiit...." Ryouga continued to nuzzle Ranma's neck.
"Stop it Ryouga,"
"Suuuuukiiiiii daaaaaa Raaaaaan-chaaaaaaaaaan......" before Ranma had any chance to protest Ryouga slipped out of his grasp and pinned him against the wall.
"Ran-chan kaaaawaaaiiiiiiiiii....." he whispered before sliding his tongue into Ranma's mouth. The irate martial artist bit down on the offending organ and Ryouga pulled back, a hurt expression on his face, "Ryo-kun doesn't like a Ran-chan who does such things," his large brown eyes welled up suddenly and he attempted to run down the street, "I HATE YOU!!!" he didn't get as far as he probably intended before he tripped and went down. Ranma-chan sighed and went to go pick him up again.
"You're a pain in the ass Ryouga."
"Suki da Ran-chan..."
Somehow Ranma managed to get Ryouga to Ceres's apartment without to much more trouble, although Ryouga had managed to get away three times and all three times surprised Ranma with a kiss or a fondle. Needless to say Ranma was feeling pretty irritated by the time they reached Ceres's floor, possibly since Ryouga had gone so far as to reach his hand up Ranma's shirt for a quick fondle before Ranma smashed his head in the floor of the elevator.
"Ran-chan is meeeeeaaaaan......" Ryouga had plaintively whined.
"Ryo-kun is a heeeeeentaaaaaiiiiiii," was the reply, Ryouga held out his arms to Ranma, "I'm not picking you up. You're too big," Ryouga pouted, Ranma had to admit, or maybe it was the alcohol he had consumed, Ryouga was pretty cute.
"Hoooooldddd meeeeeee," Ranma shook his head, "Pleeeaaaaaseeeee??" Ranma sighed, this was one of those nights, and picked Ryouga up to his feet.
"Ryouga do you have a key to get in?"
"Yes Ryouga," Ryouga was so dead when this was over, "Something to open the door with? So I don't break it down? Ceres ain't gonna like it if I break down her door."
"Ceres-chan wants Ran-chan but she can't have her."
"Fine, Ryouga, great, how 'bout the key?" Ryouga put on a face of great concentration while he fished around for his spare key. Minutes later he held it up triumphantly. Ranma snatched it from him, and Ryouga put his face in Ranma's neck again.
"Ran-chan hates Ryo-kun...." was the muffled comment.
"Iie she doesn't," Ranma replied as she kicked the door open, "She's just annoyed that Ryo-kun is trying to get into her pants," What the Hell am I talkin' about?
"Ryo-kun won't get in Ran-chan's pants," he promised, then added happily, "Ryo-kun will take them off for Ran-chan!!" Ranma dropped him on the couch.
"Iie he won't!"
"Demo...." Ryouga's eyes began to tear up, "Demo...."
"But what Ryouga?!" Ryouga leapt off the couch and Ranma was knocked over by the sheer force of his hug.
"Ryouga loves Ranma," Ranma-chan looked up at him. Mataku....he's not kiddin'. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad....GYAA!! WHAT AM I THINKIN'!!!!! Ranma shook her head vigorously as she tried to get the larger martial artist off of her, "Ranma loves Ryouga too. Ryouga know it."
"Knock it off Ryoug-" he kissed her then, the sort of kiss that he had overheard Ceres tell Okashi and Akane about once, and Ranma began melting. Damn female hormones... she thought at she began running her hands under Ryouga's shirt. His skin was the smoothest silk covering toned muscles...this was wrong...Ryouga is....I am...but if it was so wrong why couldn't they stop? Ryouga moved his attentions down Ranma's slender neck and onto her collar bone.
"Suki da Ran-chan honto ni suki da...." Ranma could only nod and repeat.
"Suki da Ryo-kun honto ni suki da..." slim fingers began to remove the articles of clothing that separated the two forms. Articles of clothing, so alike in appearance, were casually tossed aside as they made their way to a softer place than the floor.
Ranma lashed her head around insanely as Ryouga slowly brushed his hands over her breasts. He suckled her distended nipples, one after the other; dazzling her with the slight flicker of his tongue and the agile movements of his fingers. This is so wrong.....She groaned as her hips rose as if they had a mind of their own. So wrong... Ryouga traced even lower and brushed his soft mouth against her thin belly. This shouldn't be happening...
"Shhh....." Ryouga whispered to her quietly, "Hush, koi. It's okay now," Ryouga placed his hand beneath her chin as he kissed her passionately once more. She trusted him, now. He was so beautiful, so sincere. But this just wasn't right. Deep down they were two boys playing a game they had no buisness playing. Ryouga had Okashi, Ranma had Akane, what in the hell were they doing with each other? He stroked her hair delicately as he gently laid her beneath him, "Ranma..." he said as he roughly pressed his lips to her own. Greeting her with many long and passionate kisses, "Suki da....suki da...." Ryouga moaned deeply as he reached down low to her exquisite legs and parted them, making a place for himself. He lowered himself onto her slowly; until he was lying between her sensitive inner thighs. Ranma's eyes were closed tightly, but she gasped when she knew it was him she could feel. She felt heavy between her legs, hot, wet, and tight. She groaned deeply, This is so wrong...so wrong..., but didn't refuse him. Ryouga drew back a little, as he watched her lazuline eyes reveal themselves slightly through thick lashes. I'm gonna hate myself in the morning...Ranma thought as a dream-like ecstasy took hold, I'm gonna hate myself and Ryouga and anyone who finds out about....this.....