Kimmy the Vampire Slayer

By tim gueguen

Based on characters and situations created by Joss Whedon and Pete Williams. This story is intended for noncommercial entertainment purposes only.

Nitz Walsh frowned. "So, you don't want to go out with me tonight."

The woman on the other end of the phone line sounded apologetic. "I'm sorry Nitz, really I am," said Kimmy Burton. "But I've really got a busy evening ahead. I've got an essay to do, some letters to write, and I've got a very important meeting too. I mean, you know how busy I am."

"Yeah, I guess I can understand that," he said, not bothering to hide his disappointment. After years of having a crush on the attractive redhead he had finally gotten up the courage to ask her out. They had started dating, but Nitz found that it was pretty much at Kimmy's convenience. It seemed every time he asked her out she already had plans.

"Look, how about Thursday? Ooops, gotta run if I'm going to make my appointment, bye!" she said, and hung up.

Nitz let out a long sigh as he hung up the phone.

"Problems Nitz?" asked a familiar voice. Nitz looked up to find his friend Jesse standing in the doorway of his dorm room. A smirk appeared on the Asian girl's face. "As if I can't guess with who."

An annoyed look appeared on his face. "Hey, not all my problems have to do with Kimmy."

"Did I say anything about Kimmy? Your buddies cause you problems too." She sat down on the edge of Nitz's bed. "I know I'm gonna regret asking this, but what's your problem with her?"

Nitz frowned. "I asked her out tonight, and she said no. We only seem to go out when she asks, and any time I ask she's always got other plans." His frown deepened. "And I'm starting to wonder if she's up to something strange. A couple of times I've found out she hasn't been where she claimed she was going to be when she brushed me off."

"Come on Nitz, you shouldn't be that surprised. Even you have to know how self centred she is. And not showing up where she's supposed to? Hell, she's just doing too much at once to keep track of it all and probably forgot." Jesse stood up. "C'mon, Brodie got some free passes to that Jackie Chan festival. That's why I'm here, to see if you wanted to go with us."

Nitz reached for his baseball cap. "Sure, why not? Its better than moping around here."

"That's the spirit," Jesse said happily as Nitz got up and slipped on his jacket.


Kimmy walked quickly into a park near the State U. campus. Much to her surprise she'd gotten a call earlier that day from Mark, the former State U. drama student she'd had a crush on. He asked to meet her here, telling her it was urgent, and had to do with her recently found calling.

I wonder how he found out, she thought as she sat down on a bench to wait. So far she'd managed to keep her activities hidden from everyone. It had been quite the task to deal with the pressures of school and her personal life while having to deal with the supernatural, and she wasn't convinced she was doing a very good job of it. Having to say no to Nitz tonight was a good example. She felt guilty for putting him off yet again, as she found herself doing a lot lately.

Hearing footsteps approaching she looked up. "Mark, is that you?"

"Kimmy Burton, I want you," replied a tall figure, his features hidden in shadows.

Kimmy frowned, instantly recognising the voice. "But Mark, you're gay."

The figure nodded. "That's true. But just because I'm gay doesn't mean I don't want you to become part of my new family," Mark said as he walked out into the light.

Kimmy gasped as he stepped into the light, and she could see that he sported the brow ridge and fangs that were the mark of a vampire. "Oh Mark..." she said sadly as a single tear trickled down her face.

He shook his head at the expression on her face. "So, I guess you're not interested."

"I'm afraid not," she replied as she lept to her feet and charged him. She silently castigated herself for wearing her favourite long skirt instead of less restricting pants. Looking good shouldn't even be a consideration in such a situation, but it had been Mark who called.

She just hoped her hormones didn't get her killed.


"Neat way for Kruger to shut Brodie up," said Nitz with a laugh as he and Jesse walked back towards campus.

"Yeah. I swear, Brodie could talk someone to death given the chance."

As they passed a dimly lit park a flash of movement caught Nitz's eye. His eyes widened in disbelief. "Jesse, look!" he shouted, pointing at what he saw. He then began to run towards the park.

"What the hell?" As Jesse charged after Nitz she could see what had gotten his attention. Kimmy Burton was furiously trading blows with what looked like Mark the Drama Guy.

"We have to help her!" shouted Nitz.

A figure suddenly lept in front of Nitz. "I don't think so boy!" the newcomer shouted and slammed Nitz to the ground with a strong backhand. "Heh, some more fresh meat."

"Wanna bet?" replied Jesse as she snapped a kick into his gut. She was pleased to see that her karate lessons had paid off as he stumbled back and tripped over a park bench.

Lying on the ground, Nitz tried to shake off the effects of the hit he'd taken. I'm seeing things, he thought to himself as he saw Mark the Drama Guy disintegrate in a puff of dust after Kimmy slammed a stake into his chest.

Nitz's attacker climbed to his feet. He bared his fangs at Jesse. "That actually hurt bitch, so I'm gonna have to go real slow with you!"

"I don't think so," said a cold voice behind him.

"Oh crap, the Slayer!" he shouted as he tried to spin around. An expression of intense pain briefly appeared on his face before he crumbled to dust.

"NITZ!" Kimmy screamed as she ran towards him. "Are you alright?" she asked fearfully as she knelt down beside him.

"I...I dunno," he said as he tried to climb to his feet. "What the hell just happened?"

"They were vampires," Kimmy replied.

Nitz frowned. "What are you talking about, vampires aren't real."

"I'm afraid they are," Kimmy said, shaking her head. "I wish to God they weren't, but they are."

"My word, is everyone all right?" asked a male voice with a British accent. Jesse looked over at the newcomer and recognised the tall, middle aged man with glasses as Rupert Giles, the recently appointed Deputy Director of the State U. library system.

"Yes, we're all right Mr. Giles," said Kimmy as she helped Nitz to his feet. "The call from Mark was an ambush. He was a vampire. I staked him, and another one who must have been his backup after he tried to attack my friends here."

Giles nodded, a sad expression on his face. "My condolences. You did say you knew him quite well."

"Thank you," responded Kimmy as she helped Nitz, who was still a bit dizzy, sit on the bench.

Jesse turned to Giles. "Well, since you're obviously in on this, I'll ask you. One of the vampires called her the Slayer. Is that ditz actually the Slayer?"

"You know about Slayers?" asked Giles, a surprised expression on his face.

Jesse nodded. "My great, great aunt helped one of the Slayers, and I heard a bunch of stories about her adventures. So, answer the question already. Is she the Slayer?"

Giles pulled off his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose. The last thing he wanted was to get civilians messed up in Slayer work again. "Yes, Kimmy is a Slayer," he said wearily.

Jesse threw up her hands and looked to the sky. "We're doomed I tell you! Doomed!"


Just another one of those oddball ideas that pop into my head. Beats me where it came from. This one is just a one off, although I'm not totally ruling out the idea of doing more with it at some later date.