Disclaimer: i-am-bug has decided to let me do the disclaimer because this is my story. End I em bored. Wery, wery, bored. So, Paramount owns me and the rest of the crew. End the sheep. But they do not own Russia. They newer vill. En fact, Russia vill newer be owned by anyvun. It vill alvays be free. *I* am Russian, you see. Russians-- Okay, okay, i-am-bug, I em goink avay. Goodbye.


A/N: This takes place during the same Klingon attack as 'A Matter of Pride.' Only this time, it's from the point of view of Chekov. Read and review.

A/N: Sunday was Chekov day! My calendar said so! (Actually, I think it's Walter Koenig's birthday.) But CHEKOV DAY!


A Day in the Life of Chekov


It Vas a Russian Inwention


Klingons again. It was always Klingons. Except of course when it was Romulans or giant amoebas or large planet killers that look like multi- colored socks.

But this time it was Klingons.


All was normal on the Enterprise, and Chekov was bored. Bored enough that he was risking playing with a game on his console when he was supposed to be on duty.

Not that anything had happened for him to have a reason to be on duty for the last week. Being the one who fired phasers, Chekov got pretty bored.

He wasn't even watching when the Klingon ship fired on the Enterprise. He hadn't even warned the captain that a disrupter beam was about to hit the ship and jerk the floor right out from under them.

Since he was Chekov, and Chekov was always jolted out of his seat, Chekov went flying when the Enterprise was hit. Or rather, he would have gone flying, but a rather solid console interrupted his flight.

He let out a stream of Russian that no one around him could understand. Some of it was cursing. The rest was basically "Ow."

He was dimly aware of Scotty calling from Engineering and Kirk answering with "Klingons." And then "I think we're going to have to warp out of here. Can we go Warp 8? You think you can manage it?"

And then Chekov blacked out.


When he woke up, nothing had changed. The bridge was still in chaos, the red-alert klaxon was still... well, klaxon-ing? Chekov decided that he would find out. Some other time.

Another blast rocked to ship. This time, Chekov had the common sense to hold on. He realized that Kirk was saying something to him. Still dizzy from his knock on the head, he turned to face Kirk, still ignoring the captain's words.

"Chekov!" Kirk yelled. This time the groggy Russian understood. "Lock on target and fire at will."

Chekov nodded, winced, and shot at the Klingon ship. He missed. "Demmit," he muttered.

Kirk was calling Engineering again. Chekov passed out again.


When he awoke, Chekov was in the nice, clean, quiet, Sickbay. He sat up groggily. "Vhat happened?" he asked.

"YOU just nearly destroyed my ship," Kirk said from somewhere above him.

Chekov decided that maybe now wasn't the best time to have woken up. He lay back against the pillow. But it wouldn't work now, as Chekov had already sat up and asked a question. Crap.

He sat up again. "Oops," he said.

Chekov saw Kirk roll his eyes in spite of himself. Chekov smiled weakly. Maybe "oops" wasn't the best word for the occasion.

"You put my ship in jeopardy by not watching for enemy ships. You should not have been playing that game. I-"

"You knew about that?" Chekov interrupted.

Kirk sighed. Very loudly. "That's not the point. I-"

"How did you find out?"

"Mr. Chekov!"

Oh great. Not only had he "put the ship in jeopardy" and make a fool of himself, he had managed to make the captain angry.

"I should write you up for insubordinatio-"



"I vas not being insubordinate."

Kirk just shook his head. "I... give... up," he finally said. Maybe Spock'll know what to do with you. Maybe he'll decide that the logical thing to do is string you up by your thumbs or something..."

"String up by thumbs vas a Russian idea!" Chekov called out to Kirk as he left Sickbay. Kirk didn't even bother arguing.

Chekov got out of bed cautiously. The room didn't spin or anything, and Chekov decided this was a good sign. He made his way out of Sickbay, and nearly banged into Kirk. He hadn't realized that the captain was still nearby.

"Sorry," he said brightly, and continued walking.

So he had put the ship in danger. So he had made a fool of himself. So he had angered the captain.

For once, no one had argued when he told them something was a Russian invention. Life was good. And Kirk wasn't that bad. He would defend him if someone started insulting him.

But he wouldn't have to worry about that for a while. All they had to do now was deliver some quadrotricale (a Russian invention, of course) to Starbase K-7. Then... shore leave. Who would insult Captain Kirk at a Federation Starbase?


A/N: Yes, it's short. Just like 'A Matter of Pride.' But I like it. Tell me what you think. Review, in other words.