The Hogwarts Boy's Guide

Chapter One: The Notebook

Warnings: SLASH relationship, minor bad language, and derogatory terms for homosexuals- used only for characterization

Author's Notes: This story is one I started nearly two years ago as a high school junior. I'm now a college freshman, and I've taken up interest in this story again. Only I've decided on some major plot changes that will enable me to take this story farther than I originally did. These two years have also changed me in some ways, and that is reflected in my writing style. I've also learned A LOT more about writing, and gotten better at editing myself. For these reasons, I've decided that in order to finish this story, I should first rewrite it.

I hope everyone who read Slide likes this version as much as, or better than the first. I kept all the elements, and a few of the lines that I liked best from Slide. But as I said before, a lot has changed, namely the plot. I believe this story is more mature and well put together than the first, but that's really up for you to decide.

And some of you have never read Slide, so the beginning of this story is as good a place to start.

As always, comments are much appreciated.

Happy reading.

Snape removed his shirt and pulled his black silk robe over his shoulders. Picking up the piece of parchment from his desk in his dorm at Hogwarts, he swept through his living room into the his tiny kitchen. He absently stirred his coffee with his wand, which was exuding a nice, dark chocolate flavor into the bitter beverage while his eyes scanned the paper. He grunted at it and lowered it to his counter, pulling a quill from the pocket of his robe. He drew a large, blood red circle around a paragraph of writing and simply wrote 'No.' Then he marked a 15 out of 50 and snatched the paper off his counter.

God, his students were getting stupider by the year. Disgusting.

He moved back into his living room, now sipping his coffee. He set the paper back in the pile with the others, all with similarly low marks. He was about to turn away and leave the rest of the work for tomorrow morning when he noticed something. He looked over the things scattered across his desk slowly, considering each in turn.

"Uh huh," he said, then he snapped around, his silk robe spinning out around him as if enchanted to dance.

"Give it back," he said loudly, impassively.

There was a creak as his bedroom door slide open. In the dark shadow cast by the thick, stone doorway stood Draco Malfoy, his light hair covering his eyes. He was leaning casually in the door frame, holding a notebook to his chest.

"Aw, come on," he whined.

Snape held out his large hands, rubbing his long fingers together. "Give it here."

Draco emerged from the room with a grin twitching roguishly on his lips. He slipped the book behind his back.

"Come, on Sevie. I'm not going to hurt anything by looking at it."

Snape glided up to Draco menacingly. He circled around Draco once, looking down at the tall boy from his imposing height, breathing down his neck. Draco stiffened, and his smile slowly faded away. Snape paused before Draco. His black eyes locked onto Draco's gray ones.

"Why is it, Draco" he started slowly, his deep, monotonous voice booming around the stone room, " That you think you deserve special treatment? You know this notebook was banned by the administration. No one is to see it. No one. That includes you."

Snape paused and raised his eyebrows in anticipation of an answer.

"Why do I think I deserve special treatment?" Draco repeated, "Hmm, could it be because I've always received special treatment from you and now I'm spoiled? It's your own fault, really."

"Oh, it is?" Snape asked. He didn't move, didn't blink. He simply folded his hands behind his back and waited.

Draco grinned again and tossed back his shaggy, baby soft white hair. "Yes, it's entirely your fault. Now, I ask you again, what would I be hurting by looking at it?"

"Not what, my boy. Who."

Draco smirked, "That makes this even more tempting."

"You're a sick boy," Snape shot back quickly.

Draco laughed, deep and throaty. Snape's face remained stone cold for a moment, then his lips began to twitch. Finally he allowed a smile to stretch across his face- a smile Draco always found disentitling because of it's rarity- and he laid a massive paw onto Draco's finely boned shoulder.

"Fine, have a look if you'd like," he said casually, "I've had a look myself."

"I knew it! I knew you would, you dirty old bastard!" Draco exclaimed, tromping after Snape as he walked towards his large, leather couch. Draco flopped down onto the over stuffed sofa and slapped the notebook on his lap.

Snape brought him a cup of coffee.

"I'll remind you again that I'm not that old. I'm younger than your father," Snape said. "You haven't been to se me in a while,"

Draco sipped his coffee, "Busy. Homework. Studying. Planning for my future, and all that."

"I was under the impression you hadn't been doing much of that lately."

"Says who?"

Snape shrugged, "The other teachers said you've been falling behind. Too much parting, they suspect. I can't tell you often enough, Draco, that it would be sad for you to let your chances of going DragonFields University slip away because you're too involved with your social life. You're smart, Draco, and you have good blood. You could have quite a future ahead of you."

Draco frowned deeply, "You're right, as always. I haven't been as focus on school as I should be. I've just been so stressed lately, and there is ALWAYS a party in the Slytherin house. It's very tempting to abandon my future in favored of having a good time. How did you manage to consentrait of schoolwork when you were a student?"

"Simple. I was never invited to any of the parties," Snape answered. He smiled thinly in remembrance.

"Mr. Potter hasn't been slacking on his studies. He's receiving a higher grade than even you in Potions and in Defense against the Drak Arts," Snape continued.

After years of mishaps with new teachers, Snape had finally been awarded to position as DADA professor.

Draco's gray eyes slide to the professor's and he made no move to hide the disgust that flashed in them. "Please don't get me started. You know how I feel about Potter."

"I have a feeling your distaste for him is not in reference to his intelligence."

Draco said nothing. Instead, he looked back at the book on his lap and flipped it open,

"So you've read parts?" he asked, changing the subject.

Snape lowered himself into a chair and leaned back with his fingers stepled in front of him. "I indulged my curiosity, that's all. I didn't read all of it."

"Anything good?"

Snape shrugged, "It's not my preferred reading material."

"Hmm," Draco hummed, flipping through the book. Different handwritings were scrawled endlessly across the pages. Names were everywhere. A few listed numerous times. He stopped at one name and read.

'Evie Sparrow: A natural redhead, if you catch my drift. This one can go all night and them some. Likes it kinky, so bring your whip, boys.'

"Yikes! Who'd have thought! She's so quiet," Draco remarked to himself. He read on.

'Hermione Granger: Hard to catch but well worth the trouble. Surprising nice body, and very vocal. All that reading has done her some good. She knows quite a few fancy tricks'

Draco gulped, "Well, my God. Now I see why Goyle willing spent the weekend in detention for swiping this. This is valuable information."

Snape nodded, "It's been in circulation since the beginning of the year, has it not?"

"Yeah. I wonder who started it. I'd like to-" Suddenly he stopped. His mouth went slack and his eyes glazed over.

There, on the very same page he'd been scanning, in thin, loopy cursive was the name 'Harry Potter'.

'Harry Potter: I know not everyone is into the cock, but if you're willing to take one for the team in order to have a good time, Harry is the way to go! Hands like a god and a mouth like a black hole. Much better than any of the inexperienced girls at this school. It takes one to know one, if you know what I mean.'

Draco snapped the book shut.

"What is it?" Snape asked, staring at Draco peculiarly. Draco's face had drained of blood and was now strikingly pale.

Draco shook his head and rose. He tossed the notebook back at Snape.

"Here. Keep it," he said.

"What? You sneak in here to steal it and now you don't even want to read it?" Snape asked.

"You were right. No one should see that. It's not right. It…it's revolting. Completely repellent," Draco spat.

"Which entry are you referring to?" Snape asked, flipping through the pages.

Draco pressed his lips together and mumbled, "The page with the corner bent."

Snape stood up, holding the book and opened it to the page he wad directed to. He tucked his hair back and his eyes scanned the page quickly. Draco watched closely as Snape's eyes locked on the spot and his pupils widened slightly. He looked up and lifted his dark eyebrows.


Draco nodded.

"It bothers you that much?"

A muscle in Draco's face twitched but he said nothing. He lowered his head and turned away.

"I'm leaving," was all he said before he dashed across the room to the large, heavy door that lead out of Snape's secret chambers. Draco slipped out and slammed the door behind.

Snape watched the door for a minute. Then he turned away, closing the book and laying it back on it's spot on his desk. He read the cover, on which it was written in magical golden script:

'The Hogwarts Boy's Guide to the Best lays in School'