DISCLAIMER- I don't own the Fellowship. I do, however, own the Infamous Harmonica...

Don't dare ask me where on Middle-Earth this came from... I was watching a comedy/drama programme called 'Margery and Gladys' which had a 5 second scene with a little boy crying along to what sounds like background music played by a harmonica. It turns out he's in the hospital and he actually swallowed the harmonica...

I wondered about it, and decided it would make for a good fic...

So, get ready for... The Troubles with Elven Harmonicas...


.:Chapter One:.

"Master Elf, please, enough with your incessant singing already!" cried Gimli, his arms thrown up and waving in utter exasperation, voicing his laments to a tall tree and the thin figure perched in it. Legolas, in turn, laughed lightly.

"Well what do you wish me to do Gimli? I can think of a lot worse things I could be doing," he replied, folding his lithe arms across his chest, his gaze penetrating his companions.

"Oh?! I wish to see what exactly could infuriate me more than your awful lyrics Legolas! Go ahead, try me!" shouted the Dwarf, shaking his fist towards the royal brat, as he so often called him.

Aragorn sighed. "Do not tempt him, son of Gloin! I did that once when I was younger... to my great regret..." These were intended as words of wise warning to his companion, who was walking on the edge of a knife now, but Gimli took it as a challenge.

"You may be able to send the Man into insanity with your flighty Elvish ways, but it takes a Balrog-sized amount of trouble to peeve off a Dwarf, I'll tell you now!"

Legolas gave a bright grin that spread from pointed ear to pointed ear, the moon catching on his teeth and giving the two below of an extremely smug Cheshire cat which had got the cream. He put a slender hand into his pocket and pulled out a silvery rectangular object. Aragorn's eyes widened.

"I thought Elladan and Elrohir took that... that thing away from you!!!" he shrieked.

"Ah, yes," said Legolas. "But they didn't expect the Prince of Eryn Lasgalen to have such wonderful pick pocketing skills!"

Gimli merely laughed heartily. "That?!" he spluttered. "That is your great object of torture?!"

"Oh no..." thought Aragorn.

"I warned you Gimli!" beamed Legolas, and, throwing back his silvery-blonde head and taking in a deep breath, he blew harshly on the object.  

A great screeching chord emanated from the thing, and Gimli had to clamp his rough calloused hands over his ears. "BY AULË! WHAT ON MIDDLE-EARTH POSSESSED YOU TO BRING A HARMONICA WITH YOU, YOU CRAZY, POINTY-EARED MORON?!" he hollered, shooting a glance up at the Elf, who apparently, firstly believed that he was Eru's gift to harmonica playing, and secondly thought this was a great laugh. In fact, the harmonica now made wheezing noises due to his laughter behind the holes.

Aragorn also had his hands compressed against his ears. "I don't know why he bothers, he can't even play the blasted thing!!!" he cried above the wailing tones of the instrument.

As swiftly as it started, the shrieks stopped.

"What happened?" thought Gimli. Legolas sat stock still, a look of horror on his face. The offending harmonica had disappeared from his hands, leaving both the Dwarf and the Man to wonder what had transpired.

Aragorn was filled with concern at the look on his best friend's face. "Legolas?! Are you alright?!"

Legolas opened his mouth to reply, but instead of words...

'Hooomph!' The muffled, dimmed, yet still quite clear melodies of a harmonica escaped from the Elf's throat.         

Suddenly, to his dismay, he realised what he'd done, much to his friends' amusement.

He'd swallowed his harmonica!


So, opinions? I rather enjoyed writing that! If you review, you get a new chapter! Will Gimli and Aragorn ever be able to pull themselves together?! Will Legolas ever get his harmonica out of his throat?! What problems will a musical wheezy breathing system create for the Three Hunters?! Will I ever stop this damned cheesy American sitcom accent?!

Find out next chapter... if you review?!