A/N: Yes, I know. It's been done before. And by god, it'll be done again. Specifically, right now, by me. But, unlike some, I have at least a few writing skills. Hopefully it won't be too bad. Just bear with me here. In this fic, there is NO movie. This will NOT be a Jack/OC. I promise. Seriously.

If anyone can tell me how to do italics, I would be much appreciative. Until I learn, I'll use [ and ] for thoughts. Got it? Good.

Disclaimer: *snort* Yeah, right.

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It was a hot summer afternoon in Tampa when Jennifer finished mowing the lawn. Her parents were out of town for two weeks, traveling through Europe. That left just her and her 20 year old brother David home, alone.

The only problem with the two of them being there was the fact that David was exceptionally lazy. Now, on its own, that wouldn't be a problem. But add in that he was more than a foot taller and three years older than Jennifer and it was one.

So that was why Jennifer was mowing the lawn. She put up the heavy mower and looked down at herself. Her arms were covered in a thin layer of dirt particles mixed with sweat, and her hands were rubbed raw from the vibrating of the motor. She sighed and entered the house.

David was sitting at the computer, playing X-Wing.

"I'm done, asshole," she called, getting a glass of water. He grunted from the computer chair. She rolled her eyes and entered the living room. "When are you gonna do those dishes?"

"That's your job," he replied, never taking his eyes off the screen.

"That's bull and you know it. It's your turn," She countered, flipping on the TV set. He sighed dramatically.

"Fine. I'll do it later."

After channel surfing for a while, Jennifer decided there was absolutely nothing on. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

David had since switched to another game. He swiveled the chair around and smirked. "Thank god. You're stinking up the whole house."

As Jennifer walked into the bathroom, she coolly raised her middle finger and closed the door to her brother's laughter.

**

Jennifer had just finished her dinner and was putting her plate in the sink when she heard a loud thud coming from the living room. David had gone into his room and closed the door half an hour before, and there wasn't supposed to be anyone else in the house. She could feel her heart stop in her chest.

She grabbed a frying pan off of the wall and crept into the other room. Jennifer gulped, then jumped through the doorway. What she saw completely shocked her.

Standing in the middle of her living room was a man, dressed in very strange clothes and looking very confused. But the most distressing part was the fact that he was brandishing a very large sword. Jennifer squeaked and dropped her pan.

The man whipped around and pointed his sword at her nose. "Who are yeh, lass? Where am I?" He said. His voice was gruff, and scared the 17 year old.

"T-Tampa. I'm J-Jennifer. Who are you?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Captain Jack Sparrow. 'ow did I get 'ere?" He asked, sheathing he sword. She let out her breath, realizing that she had been holding it the entire time.

"I have absolutely no idea," she replied truthfully. [Go get David, stupid. He'll know what to do.] "Stay here for just a minute, alright?"

He just grunted, already observing his surroundings. Jennifer noticed that he was staring at a silver candlestick a little too long for her liking, and snatched it off the mantle. She ran into her big brother's room, almost knocking down the door in her hurry.

David had been sitting on his bed listening to his head phones and reading a book. Jennifer pulled them off and started talking very quickly.

"Oh-my-god-David-there's-this-guy-in-the-living-room-and-he-looks-like-a- pirate-from-Gasparilla-and-I-don't-know-how-he-got-here," she said, all on one very large breath.

"What? Say that again, but pause between your words this time," he replied, brows furrowed. Jennifer took a few large breaths and repeated what she said slower.

"You're not funny, Jen. What's going on?" He said, crossing his arms. She heaved a big sigh.

"I'm not laughing, David. I'm serious. Come on." She grabbed his arm and yanked him off the bed and into the living room. Sparrow was sitting on the couch, examining the remote control and pressing random buttons. David saw him and his jaw hit the floor.

"Ah, another one? What be your name then, lad?" Sparrow said, dropping the remote and getting up.

"David. What are you doing in my house?"

Sparrow shrugged. "Was 'bout to ask yeh the same thing." Jennifer was standing next to David, biting her nails and thinking very quickly. [This guy could not possibly be a real pirate. But then how did he get in?]

[We can figure that out later. What are we going to do now?] She thought. Suddenly an idea popped into her head.

"Uh, well, Captain, I suppose you'll just have to stay here until we can figure out how to get you back," Jennifer said. David looked at her and raised an eyebrow. The pirate shrugged.

"I will need the be gettin' back soon, o' course."

"Well, yeah. But until then, I mean." She smiled what she hoped was an inviting grin. Sparrow smirked, showing several gold teeth.

David smiled fakely at him and turned to his sister. "Can I speak to you for a minute?" He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his bedroom.

"What the hell are you thinking?" he asked, his brow furrowed. She shrugged.

"What else are we going to do? We can't just send him out into the streets. Especially not looking like that," she countered.

"Well, we could always get him more clothes, and cut his hair," David replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And it really was.

"Forgive me for trying to be a helpful person. You can be the one to throw him out then."

David huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine. He can stay. But he can't walk around like that. And he has to be gone before mom and dad get back."

"No shit, sherlock," Jennifer replied. He stuck out his tongue and she rolled her eyes. "Oh, grow up." She walked out and sat next to Sparrow, who had resumed pressing buttons on the remote.

"Ok, Captain, here's the deal. You can stay, until our parents get back. But you can't be walking around with dreads in your hair," she waved to his beaded hair, "and that little goatee thing."

"You want me to cut my hair?" He said, raising an eyebrow.

"Basically, yes. And you have to change clothes too. People don't dress like that."

"Says who?" He asked, lying back on the couch. He was obviously surprised by the way he sunk in.

"Says me. Let's go, into the bathroom with you," she grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the stairs. She led him up to the bathroom and sat him on the toilet seat. When Jennifer opened the cabinet, he was shocked to see the light come on.

"How'd yeh do that?" He asked, standing up very quickly. She pushed on his shoulders and he plopped down on the seat again.

"Magic," she said, talking the scissors out. His eyes shot wide and an audible gulp was heard. [Did he think I was serious?] Jennifer asked herself.

"Take off your hat and bandana," she commanded. He glared before slowly removing his tri-corner. He peeled his bandana off and Jennifer was surprised to see the number of knots that had developed since he had last cut his hair.

"Do you ever take that thing off?" She asked in disbelief.

"Maybe," was all he said. She sighed and brought the scissors toward his head. He grabbed her wrist before it touched his precious locks.

"What exactly is it you'll be doin', lass?" He eyed the shears carefully.

"Cutting this crap off. You can't be here and still have it. Do you want to stay or not? Now let me go." Sparrow glared for a few seconds before letting her go. "Thank you."

He clenched his eyes shut as she began to snip away. Long strands of matted hair started falling quickly. But other than a short second where Jennifer screamed, ("Is that a cockroach?!?!?!?"), which turned out to be nothing but a leaf, the haircut went rather smoothly.

When she was finished, Jennifer stepped back to admire her work. "Nice. All that's left now is the beard. DAVID!" She called. Her brother walked in, and was rather taken aback at the man standing in front of him.

"What?"

Jennifer waved her hand at the pirate. "Show him how to shave."

With that, she left her annoyed brother and confused pirate standing together in the bathroom.

**

About twenty mintues later, The two men came out of the bathroom. Jennifer was sitting on the couch, flipping channels once again, and eating a large bowl of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream. Well, ok, the whole pint.

"Ahem," David said. Jennifer turned her attention to the steps, where a completely new man was standing, observing his different look.

Sparrow was dressed in a loose blue polo shirt and baggy jeans. It was strange seeing him in a short sleeved-shirt. The cut on his regular clothes caused a strange tan line. His hands were tan, but his arms were much lighter.

He was also clean shaven, and his hair was combed. But when he looked up, smiling wildly, Jennifer dropped her ice cream. Standing there, staring her full in the face, was a carbon copy of Jennifer's favorite actor. Johnny Depp.

"Oh, shit."

****

A/N: Huh? Huh? You like? I've noticed for stories like this people don't deal with the fact that Sparrow would be walking around looking like either a)A pirate, or b) Johnny Depp. So I've decided to address that problem. Which will be in the next chapter, if you read it. And don't forget to review.