Undercover Angel – A Yami Bakura x Shaadi story
This story is dedicated to my good friend Belle who is the reason I like this pairing so much.
The night that it happened I was drifting through the dimly lit city streets, alone, as I always was. Loneliness was something that had haunted me for as long as I could remember, solitude had gradually become my friend and recently my own thoughts had appeared a far safer place than the world around me, and so that was what I did as I walked. Losing myself in my own mind took me away from the distinct feeling of dread that overcame me each time my journey took me round a particularly dark corner.
And what did I think about? It was something that always struck me as ironic each time the realisation hit me. I told myself each morning when I awoke that if no one crossed my path that day I would be just as happy when I finally drifted off to sleep that night, and yet each time my thoughts overtook my mind I recalled people I had met, people I had once known, those who had passed on throughout my long life, and it was at that point that I always felt a distinctive feeling deep with in my heart, an unbearable aching which I knew could only be cured by letting someone share my life. But I had chosen a life of solitude, and I felt it was now too late to go against that way of life.
That dreaded feeling had only just entered my body when you appeared. You looked like an angel, glowing silver hair flowing over your cheeks and eventually finishing halfway down your back, and almost transparent skin, pale as though you were a ghost, and wearing nothing but white, your clothes seeming to float even though there was no breeze. If you hadn't done what you did that night I may still have believed you to be an angel, perhaps I still think you are.
You stared at me for what seemed like hours, as if you were staring right into the depths of my soul, and I stared back into your deep chestnut eyes, attempting to stare into yours, but saw only complete blackness and a look of desperation and hunger that I soon realised only I could satisfy, although I couldn't even begin to imagine how you were planning on doing so.
Finally breaking contact, you launched yourself at me, spun me round and pinned me roughly against the cold and damp wall behind me, pressing my face so hard to the brick that I could feel it's every indentation on my cheek. Then you moved your face so close to mine that I could feel your icy breath, and you whispered in your deep and intimidating voice the words that I have remembered clearly ever since. 'You're mine'. Since then I have never once argued against that statement, never attempted to claim myself back, never even suggested that we belong to each other. My body belongs to you, my mind is yours, and my heart always will be.
The only thing I can remember after the first words you spoke to me was pain, an agony I had only ever felt emotionally in the past. You tore deep into my skin with your sharp teeth, and eagerly lapped up the flowing blood as if it were a delicacy you had not experienced in a long time. Then, when I thought I could not remain conscious for any longer, you tore off my clothes and forced your way inside me, and throughout it all I closed my eyes, whimpered quietly and cried out when the pain became too much to bear, and awaited an end to the agony that I thought would never come.
When you finally pulled away and let go of me, I sank to the ground almost immediately, a wave of weakness and nausea overcoming me completely. As I began to drift into unconsciousness I could hear you laughing insanely, and felt your eyes upon me, and once I could keep awake no longer, I could hear your voice in my dreams, your words echoing through my mind and your laughing seeming to go on for eternity.
The moment I finally awoke again, I had no idea how long I had been sleeping. I opened my eyes to find myself in a large double bed with the quilt pulled right up to my neck, and a throbbing pain spreading across my entire body. Attempting to move my head to further survey my surroundings, I found I was paralysed with weakness, and finally managing to lift one of my arms up, I hardly recognised it as my own, pale from blood loss and pierced in places, the wounds forming the shapes of teeth marks.
I closed my eyes tightly and attempted to let myself fall back to sleep, but despite the sound of my heart beating and the throbbing in my head being the most prominent sounds in my mind, I could hear the distinct sound of someone sobbing, coming from somewhere in the room. I yawned loudly and forced myself past the weakness, sitting up slowly and facing towards the other side of the room where you sat staring out of the window, shaking violently, with tears flowing from the corners of your eyes and down your cheeks, dripping to the ground like raindrops. I could see blood dripping from your arms and staining your clothes, and could see the knife that had caused the wounds still resting in your shaking hand. I recognised your silver hair and chestnut eyes immediately, and knew you were the same person who had caused me the pain I was in.
I forced myself out of the bed and limped dizzily across to you, standing over you and placing one hand on your quivering shoulder. Feeling around my neck I was glad to see that my key was still hanging there safely, and I closed my eyes tightly and lifted it towards your head, and opened them a moment later to find myself in almost complete blackness.
Your soul was a dark place, with streams of blood dripping from the walls and forming crimson pools on the ground, and as I walked forwards I noticed corpses lying around me, some of them complete, others missing limbs, all of them with their mouths open wide in terror. At the other end of the room was a door, usually locked with a large padlock but currently open, telling me immediately that it was what was contained in there that was the cause of your pain.
I walked through it cautiously, wary of what I was going to find inside, and when I entered I felt the heat of a fire, and looked ahead of me to see groups of people flooding from a building that was slowly burning to the ground. I reached my head up above what I was hiding behind, and saw several other buildings that had already been completely engulfed by flames, and corpses on the grounds, some of them overcome by smoke but most murdered by a yet unseen enemy. The screaming was horrendous, cries of agony as people fought to stay alive, and sobs of grief as wives kneeled by their dead husbands and children begged their mothers to awaken.
I noticed the cause of the destruction at about the same time as I noticed you, just a small innocent child, cowering in a corner away from the rest of your village, watching the scene, and wanting to cry out each time the army slaughtered one of your family, one of your friends, or even someone you hardly knew. But the whole time you remained in silence, keeping yourself hidden, determined to stay alive, and when the entire village had been demolished and all of it's inhabitants sacrificed, you came out and walked from one body to the next, begging one of them to wake up even though you knew in your heart that they were all dead. Then you cowered once again as the army returned, eventually carrying each and every corpse from the village and leaving you the only one left.
Once I had viewed the entire scene, I stood up and walked back through the door, attempting to lock it behind me but not able to, the padlock disintegrating in my hands, and emerged from your soul, kneeled down painfully beside you and wrapped my arms tightly around your body, allowing you to bury your head in my chest and cry the tears you should have cried three thousand years ago. I stroked your hair and kissed away your tears and murmured quietly to you, as I would do to a child, continually reassuring you that I was still there and that I wasn't going to go anywhere.
I should have hated you for the pain you had put me through, should have walked out of the room and never returned, but I felt a deep sympathy for you and a remarkable similarity between us that I had never felt with anyone else. You were lonely, and I could see that. You walked the streets alone just as I did, denying to yourself that you needed other people in your life, and yet the most prominent memory in your mind was of the day when you had lost all of the people you cared about. I believe I am incapable of hating you, and believe me I have tried, I could die tomorrow at your hand and my spirit would love you for eternity.
I said that I still consider you to be an angel, and I know now that this is the truth. Night after night you torture me, take my blood and leave me barely able to move. You continually tell me you hate me, that you wish you'd never met me, and that I am worthless and worthy of being nothing more than something for you to torment. Yet, I have seen inside your soul, been to places no one else has ever bothered to go to, and have seen the bitterness that haunts a lost child with no home and no family and have experienced the revenge you seek on mankind, a justice you try to find that you never got at the time.
I walk down the dark city streets, with you on my back, laughing insanely at a private joke I could not even begin to understand, and feel you nipping teasingly at the skin on my neck with your fingernails, not enough to make me bleed but enough to make me wince. When we walk into a dark alleyway and are threatened by someone in front of us, you take out a knife and you aim it at his head, killing him instantly and laughing manically, licking blood from your weapon and then putting it away again.
"It is not funny," I tell you firmly, but that only makes you laugh louder. Amidst your chuckling I make out three distinct words, the three words that you frequently say to me. 'I hate you'. Sighing loudly I murmur my predictable reply, "I love you too," and then continue to walk, taking your hand in mine and letting you squeeze it tightly. Maybe I am mistaken, perhaps you really do hate me, but I will continue to believe that you are an angel, my angel, that that you will do something to prove it to me that there is something more than bitterness in your heart, and that one day you shall feel as much love for me as I do for you. I hope with all my heart that you will be able to show it, and be the angel I know you can become if you try.