Title: Butchering the Language

Author: Hawk Clowd

Disclaimer: I'm drinking tea and it's blackberry flavored. It makes me happy. Honest. And I don't Gundam Wing, either, which doesn't make me unhappy so much as it bothers me that I would have enough money to buy a new fish (mine just died) if I did own Gundam Wing.

Blood Type: um... C-. Because that's the grade I'm going to get on my homework-essay-thing if I don't hurry up and finish babbling!

Warnings: 1x2x1. *shrug*

Author's Notes: I'd like to thank Sol 1056, Mikkeneko, and Sophonisba. I stole their conversation. I didn't think they would mind too much. ^^;;;

Series: first of the "Stereotypes 'R Us" series, if it can be called such, and the fic that inspired the insanity in the first place.  That one is all okaasan's fault.

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"Good night, Duo," Heero said as he lay down beside the American boy, shutting off the light on the small night table beside him.

"Mmm," Duo moaned, shutting his eyes and nestling into the mattress. "Sleep well, koi."

Heero shot upwards, into a sitting position, and stared at his lover. "Did you just call me a koi, Duo?"

"Well, yeah. Is there something wrong with that?" the American asked, knitting his brow together in confusion. "That's okay, isn't it?"

"I'm not quite sure just yet, actually. Were you trying to call me a fish?"

It was Duo's turn to be confused. "Come again?"

"Koi. It's a type of fish. They live in ponds, mostly."

"It's a fish?" Duo's frowned. "I thought it was just short for koibito."

After a moment, Heero shook his head. "Then I would have to say you thought wrong. You can't shorten koibito; it doesn't work."

"I thought it meant lover!" Duo objected.

Heero blinked at him. "Koibito means lover.  Koi, does not. But let's just say it did: you were trying to call me lover? Love?"

"Both, I guess."

"That's like shortening 'beloved' to 'belo'. Would you like me to call you 'belo'? Or we could be more literal and continue to butcher the English language; I could shorten 'romance' and call you 'roma'. Would you like that, Duo?"

"Um..." Duo appeared to think about that. "No, I guess I wouldn't. So what would be short for lover, Heero?"

"What does it matter?"

"Well, here in the good old You-Ess-Of-A, some people like to refer to their partners as 'sweetie' or 'honey' or something. I just figured that I should do something like that for you, but in Japanese, given that you're from there and all that."

Heero silently read through his mental dictionary. "It would make the most sense if you just said 'Watashi no shujin'," he said quite seriously, knowing full well that Duo would never say anything like that if he knew the appropriate translation. "But if you have to actually call me something, try itoshi-- that at least makes a touch more sense. But please don't try to shorten it at all." He lay back down with one resting underneath his head. "Or you could just my name. I don't exactly hate my proper name, you know."

"Deal." Duo rolled onto his side and used Heero's chest as a pillow. "Good night, Heero. Sleep well."

"Good night, my sparkly boy."

Duo's eyes shot open. "Sparkly boy?" he choked out. But Heero had already fallen asleep and so it was impossible to question the interesting term of endearment the Japanese boy had just put upon him. And so, slightly ill at ease and a little wary of what other interesting names Heero would come up with, Duo went to sleep.

---the end of yet another stupid ficlet. sorry it sucked so bad.---