Nothing matters anymore. Just this, not even this. I can't really say what I'm doing. Coz I don't really know myself. There are so many thoughts in my head, and each one has it's own voice, telling me just how useless I am. I've gone mad again. I do it all the time. But maybe one time, I won't become normal again. Maybe one time, I loose it, and nothing will be able to help. Just do it. You want this. You know you don't want to wake up tomorrow. I'm so tired. I can't keep going on like this. Quit making up excuses. You're useless. You shouldn't ever have been chosen. You're a filthy killer. Unclean. Dirty. Evil. A waste of space. I'm trying to atone. I'm trying to make it better... But you can't. Nothing you do will ever make it better. You can't bring any of them back. They will always be dead. Because of you. Shut up. You think I don't know that? You think I don't care? At least the first one was an accident. Just like you were, my little firecracker. You ruined my life. If you hadn't been born, your father wouldn't have left me. SHUT UP! That was what mom used to say to me. I don't need to hear it from you. Now is your chance. Just lift the razor. You will get to see blood. Remember how you used to love to see people bleed? You took pride in the fact that you could take a life faster then they could protest. I know I did, but-- But you never did. You always made them beg, after the first one. You always made them hurt, to make all your hurt go away for a while. You condemned innocent people to death. The same people you were chosen to protect. If I do it, will you shut up? Will you finally leave me alone. Of course. I've got memories of blood and death that I will never be able to escape. NEVER. I'm so tired. And I give up. The blade of gleaming, sharp metal has never looked so promising. And yet, it is the key to my escape, and my skin is the lock. And I plan to use it tonight.