Title: You're Still Here
Author: Angel (www.fidelius-charm.org)
Disclaimer: HP's not mine. If it is, I don't think it will be suitable for children to read it anymore ;) *grins*
A/N: This is what happened when I am bored. I write! I cried when I was writing this. Please review, but don't tell me to get a beta because I don't have time for that. Sorry~ Please just bear with my stupid grammar. This fic is inspired by Faith Hill's 'You're Still Here'. Never heard of it? Go download it or go buy her 'Cry' CD! You're gonna cry~
It was raining very hard. The sky was gloomy. No one was on the road for fear of getting sick. Add to the fact that it was almost midnight. Yet, a young boy who answers to the name 'Harry Potter' was walking aimlessly somewhere between Number 4 Privet Drive and Magnolia Crescent. The boy was drenched from head to toe but he didn't seem to care. He kept walking even though he knew that he didn't have a certain destination to head to. Once in a while, he would try to wipe as much drops of water as he can from his glasses to see the road better. But of course it didn't do him any good. His vision was just as blur; with or without the glasses. Even his mind was a blur too.
He stopped. His tired head looked up. He was already far away from his aunt and uncle's house. He was staring at the lonely streets. No lights shone from any of the large square houses, just like three years ago when he stormed away from Number 4 Privet Drive. This, he thought, was where he first met Sirius Black. This was where he first met Padfoot…Snuffles…His Godfather…He closed his eyes, as memories washed through him like an endless wave.
An endless wave of pain and regrets…
His days were full of false hopes, lies, secrets and pain. The past few weeks had added more to the list.
He wanted to forget the pain, forget everything that causes the pain. But no… He'd never be able to wash the pain away. The memories were too clear. Every night when he tried to sleep, the vision of his Godfather falling through the veil played in his mind over and over again. 'Why? Why must Fate be so cruel? Why must Destiny be so evil as to rip everything away from me?' He screamed the words in his heart every night when he looked up to see the stars, searching for Canis Major somewhere in the satin night sky. Sadly, he never succeeded. Every time he tried looking for the star, it seemed to hide itself away from him. Even when he was coming close to finding it, something would draw it back and shelter it away from his view.
Like this rain…
Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun
then you turned away
And I knew I couldn't be
but my heart believed
Lately, Harry had been feeling a strange presence around him. It felt like Sirius, a lot. The feeling was of caring, loving and longing. It felt like a Father, the father Sirius Black had always wanted to be… For Harry Potter…Harry was forced to turn around occasionally whenever he felt a gush of silent wind touching him.
Oh it seems like something everyday
How could you be so far away?
When you're still here
He kept staring at the garage of number two, Magnolia Crescent. How he wished he hadn't been scared of the pair f dark eyes he once saw there sometimes ago. How he wished he'd known that pair of eyes sooner in his life…
He'd seen the loving eyes before. Back then when he was a little baby, he'd met the owner of the eyes. In fact, the owner of the eyes had kissed his little forehead and cheeks when he was a baby. He'd been held so caringly and lovingly in the arms of the man Harry wished he understand better. In the arms of Sirius Black…
When I need you you're not hard to find
You're still here
I can see you in my baby's eyes
And I laugh and cry
You're still here
Harry did not realise the rain had long since stopped. Staring at the spot he first met Sirius, he'd lost track on time. He didn't even realise that the rain on his face had long since dried, replace by hot, regretful tears spilling from his pair of now dulled with sorrow green eyes. Harry looked up. The sky was clear once again. Burst of stars reappeared. More tears spilled from his eyes. He'd kept these tears for so long. He needed to let it out. He hated how everything around him was still pretty much the same. It was as if Sirius was still there. People laughed everyday, while Harry mourns. Not fair! Members of the Order made it even worse for him. Their letters sound happy. Was he the only one mourning over Sirius?
At the dream last night
That you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in the painted sky
And I woke up wondering what was real
Is it what you see and touch or what you feel?
Cause you're still here
Slowly, Harry looked up to the sky. As he did, his eyes widened. A star was shining down very brightly from above. Extraordinarily brighter from the other stars…The brightest…SIRIUS! For the first time in weeks after the heartbreaking moment in Department of Mysteries, his lips curved into a smile.
He found it.
He'd found Sirius…
Harry closed his eyes, imagining Sirius looking down at him with a smile on his face. Somewhere from above, Harry could almost hear a tender voice telling him to hush. The tender voice told him to be strong and fight. And so he would. Because Harry knew… He knew Sirius was still there for him. He just couldn't see him but Sirius was there. He could feel Sirius following him around while Lily and James Potter tagged along, laughing. For Sirius, James and Lily, Harry would be strong because he knew that they were always there for him. They were still there, and would always be there for him…
Oh you're everywhere we've ever been
You're still here
I heard you in a stranger's laugh
And I hunger on to hear your laugh again
Just once again
As Harry turned to walk back to the shelter he never liked, the wind was blowing tenderly, caressing his wet, unruly black hair. Somewhere above, a small voice whispered, 'You're right, Harry… I'll always be there for you and one of these days, we'll see each other again. I promise…'
Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun then you turned away
That night, for the first time in weeks, Harry drifted off to the land of sweet dreams with a smile on his face while a tender voice whispered again.
'Sweet dreams, Harry.'
Sirius was still there...
- F i n -