"Duo! I'm home sweetie!"

I jerked my head up off the couch, it was dark outside and the DVD player read 11:30, yay, Mommy is home. Heero slept peacefully on my shoulder.

"We're in here!" I called.

"Who's we?" she asks as she steps into the living room, "Ooooh…."

I grin sheepishly and give her a casual shrug. She purses her lips, staring at me for a bit.

"I'll get out the ice cream; meet me in the kitchen in five minutes. Leave him there."

She walks away before I can answer. I'm not sure if I'm getting ice cream because it'll be my last meal, or because in the past we've used it as our negotiator, guess I'll find out.

I tactfully maneuvered out from underneath Heero without waking him, and slip into the kitchen, where a bowl of chocolate ice cream meets me.

"Sit, eat and explain."

I take a deep breath and make the plunge.

"Well, the kids at school found out about Heero and me…and well, I got into a fight and Heero, he protected me and we got into his car and took off. It was soooooo sweet Mom! He just forced his way through the crowd, grabbed me by the arm and whisked my away from danger. I swear all he was missing was a charging, white, steed-"

"Duo get to the part where he winds up on my sofa." My mother interrupts.

Just rain on my romantic parade.

"I'm getting to that! See we were at his house, having a good time. And his parents…erm…walked in…" I cover my ears and clamp my eyes shut, preparing myself for the pending nuclear blast…but they don't come.

I peep one eye open and see my mother giving me the strangest look I've ever seen her give.

"We uh…had sex." I clarify.

"I got that Duo." She replies.

"And I'm not going to be sacrificed to the vengeful gods of protective parents, nor is my boyfriend going to be gelded and sold into slavery in, I don't know, Kazakhstan?"


"Mom!" I whine.

My mother clasps my hands and kisses one gently.

"Baby, you're sixteen now, and after that day at the hospital, I realized how…unreasonable I was being."

"That's an understatement." I mumble.


I grin innocently, and she continues, "I just knew that I couldn't hold on anymore…your sister is gone, has been gone for many years. And by forcing you to be like a girl, I missed my beautiful boy growing up to be the wonderful young man he is now. What I mean is you're no longer a manageable, naïve child, but an individual with opinions and ideas of their own. You're out of my hands, well mostly, so I guess I should let you start dressing how ever you like. And as to having sex with Heero, you end up forget a condom one time and it's off to Kazakhstan for the both of you."

I'm rendered momentarily speechless.

"Now, with that lecture out of the way, continue your tale my dear." My Mom says, smiling a little evil, but oddly enough, loving, smile.

"Okay…well at first his dad thought I was a girl, so we almost got off the hook, but then his mom had to go and notice my lack of breast. Then, God, it was like watching a tornado touch down. Heero's dad went nuts, I was kicked out of the room and I could hear them fighting as I ran out the door. So I waited outside for an hour, and finally Heero came outside. Mom, he was so bloody and beaten, I thought his dad was gonna put him in the hospital it was so bad. We got into the car, leaving his parents in the dust and drove. We ended up in some field for the night, where Heero fell apart right in my arms. I convinced him to drive back to town, and well, I didn't think you'd mind if he stayed at our house until his house cools down."

My mom eats her ice cream complantivley, staring at nothing as she thought it over.

I poke at my ice cream and it slowly turns into ice cream soup.

"They really beat him?" she asks.

I nod.

My mom shovels a big, pondering bite into her mouth.

"Alright, he can stay. But, he has to do his share of work, and give his word that he will attempt to fix things with his family. And, he has to sleep in the other room."

I dropped my spoon into my ice cream sludge.

"But Mom, I thought you didn't care if we were sleeping together!" I protest.

"True, but that doesn't mean I want to stay up half the night listening to the two of you." She replies.

"Mom, we're not that bad. You make it sound like we're screwing like bunnies or something."

My mom dives in for a bite of my ruined ice cream.

"That may be true," she says, wiping the cream from her upper lip, "but I was young once too. And I still remember the hormones, the steamy nights in the back of cars. It won't take long before your libido kicks into overdrive. Especially with a boy that yummy."

I giggle, "Mom are you digging on my boyfriend?"

"I'm only complimenting your taste Duo." She answers, washing the bowls out in the sink.

A moment later a sleepy figure shuffled into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from its eyes. I smiled softly at Heero as he came over and kissed me. Mmmm, nice and sloppy, newly woken-up spit.


Quickly Heero removed his tongue from my mother, leaving me half choking, as he spun towards my mother in shock.

"Nice to see you again Heero." She says, holding back her laughter as I sit back here coughing up a lung.

"N-n-nice to see y-you again t-too Miss Maxwell." He stutters.

I continue hacking and coughing for the next five minutes until Heero comes back from outer space and gives me one good smack to the back.

"Ow! Christ were you trying to kill me?" I snap.

"Your welcome." Heero retorts.

"Took you damn long enough! I've been sitting here dying for like, the past five minutes!" I tell him, pouting.

My mom places a hand to her forehead and says, "My God I've raised a drama queen."

Heero snickers as I give my mother a hard glare.

"So, uh, Miss Maxwell I'll just be getting my stuff and be going." He states, making his way back to the den.

"Like Hell you are!" My mother shouts.

Heero stops dead and gives her a wide-eyed stare of confusion.

I jump off my stool and put my arms around his neck.

"Mommy dearest has allowed you to stay, so long as you don't come into my room for a midnight quickie." I tease.

Heero grins and slips his arms around my waist, swaying, "Oh of course not. I always take my time. I like to have a little fun."

"Heero!" I whine as my mother bursts into laughter.

Good God now there's going to be two people to pick on me. And they now live under the same roof. Dear God, what have I done?

Author's Note:

Bleh, notes are overrated anyway.