Summary: Miroku is challenged by Inuyasha and Kagome to give up his perverted ways—in fact, anything to do with sex at all—for 40 days and 40 nights. But when Sango enters the picture, how long will our hentai houshi-sama be able to hold out? R for LOTS of sexual scenes. ^_~
Disclaimer: Are you kidding?! I don't own InuYasha or any affiliates of it. Nor do I own the movie 40 Days and 40 Nights from which the plot derives. If I did, would I be writing here? Kuso, no! I'd be out making millions! Sadly, all I've made is forty bucks that my mother just had to borrow. She'll pay me back. Yes she will. .:evil look:.
A:N: Just a note It's easier for me to just write this in English full-time. So, I'm leaving the Japanese tidbits (hai, chikuso, nani, etc.) behind me for this fic and most of my others. However, in the Author's Notes and such, I will use it. I'm also keeping the suffixes. ^_~ Thanks!
40 Days and 40 Nights
Kagome climbed up from the well to be greeted by a harsh, "Oi, Kagome. What took you so long?" She glanced up at the impatient hanyou standing before her and sighed.
"Inuyasha, I had another test. I had to go home and take it," she explained patiently. "You can't expect me to stay here all the time, after all."
Inuyasha blinked; in fact, he did expect just that. He was spared a response as Miroku hurried up. "Ah, Kagome-sama," he called, a worried look in his eyes. "Would you speak to Sango for me? She seems to be slightly upset."
"Houshi-sama, get back here! I'm not through with you yet!"
Miroku winced as Sango's shout echoed through the forest. "Ah, could it be sooner than later, Kagome-sama?" he pleaded. Inuyasha rolled his eyes as Kagome hid a smile.
"Lech," Inuyasha remarked sharply. "You need to cut it out. Haven't all those beatings to your head taught you anything?"
"You'd think so, wouldn't you, Inuyasha?" Miroku retorted, crouching down behind a bush. "Now, Kagome-sama, if you would be so kind"
He was cut off as Kagome shoved his head into the bush. "Shh!" she whispered. Sango was storming over to where the hanyou and the girl stood, fuming. Waves of fury could practically be seen emanating from her.
"Kagome-chan, Inuyasha," she began shortly, "is the lech around? He has a beating coming to him."
"I'm afraid not, Sango-chan," Kagome replied, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. "He must have gone off into the forest. I haven't seen him since I've been here."
"Sango," Inuyasha cut in, "could you and the brat—" he indicated Shippou, who was clinging to the taiji-ya's shoulder "—go and get some water? We'll find the lecher for you." Sango nodded, grabbed a bucket that stood by the hanyou's side, and walked off with it silently, Shippou sticking his tongue out at Inuyasha.
"Now," Kagome said, pulling Miroku up by the collar of his robes, "we need to work this problem out. How are we going to keep you from angering Sango-chan anymore?"
"Why are we choosing now to do it?" Inuyasha smirked.
"Because," she continued dauntlessly, "now it's really a problem. Miroku-sama has to cut it out before he gets seriously injured." She thought a moment as she and the houshi sat down on the grass and Inuyasha reluctantly sat down in-between them in order to protect Kagome from any wandering hands. Suddenly she snapped her fingers. "I've got it!" she cried.
"Well? What is it?" Miroku asked, silently fearing the worst. "It's not too drastic, right Kagome-sama?"
"No, no," she assured him. "It's not that bad, Miroku-sama." Kagome indicated for the two guys to lean in, and they complied. "Now listen," she said in a conspiratorial whisper. "I have a friend who was an exchange student from another country—America. There, she said, they have a period of time where they give up something imperative to their life that they could do without." Miroku gulped.
"This particular fast," Kagome continued, "is called um well, I forgot, but the point is, Miroku will give up any perverted tendencies—on Sango-chan and every other girl—for forty days and forty nights." Her eyes gleamed mischievously as Inuyasha slowly smirked and Miroku gulped again, eyes widening.
"Kagome-sama, " he began, "that might be asking a little too much of a simple houshi as my—"
Inuyasha interrupted, "Including groping other women?"
Kagome nodded. "Groping, kissing, asking them to bear his child, anything that construes as sexual behavior," she listed, ticking them off on her fingers. She looked up, the mischievous glint in her eyes again. "Including sex itself."
Miroku stood suddenly. "Now, Kagome-sama," he said, a note of panic seeping into his voice, "what if Naraku attacked within these forty days and nights and I died? Then I would have no heir, and my ancestors would not be avenged." This statement caused a silence to overcome the three. Kagome couldn't think of a good reason for him to take her advice until Inuyasha spoke up again.
"Bouzou," he asked, "would you rather die honorably, going out fighting, with courage or would you rather die because you groped Sango one too many times?" He smirked. "It's your call."
Miroku thought for a moment. After a pause, he replied levelly, "Going out with courage, of course" and Kagome and Inuyasha sweatdropped. "But don't you think forty days and nights is a bit extreme?"
Kagome looked desperately at Inuyasha. Think of something! she mouthed furiously. He blinked, then regained his arrogant look and turned his head. "Feh," he snorted. "It's not like he could do it anyway."
"Exactly my—hn?" Miroku looked up at the hanyou. "I beg your pardon, Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha continued as if he couldn't hear the houshi. "He probably couldn't last a week before we found a village and he groped some village girl." He snorted again. "He doesn't have the endurance skills."
Miroku shot a withering glare at Inuyasha. "Inuyasha," he said frostily, "I'm sure I have more endurance than you give me credit for."
"Perhaps you're right, Inuyasha," Kagome said thoughtfully. "Maybe we should make the challenge slightly" She sent a sympathetic glance at Miroku. "Easier, maybe?"
That did it. Miroku looked around, dismayed. "I will not need the challenge to be easier!" he said, raising an eyebrow. "I can manage this challenge. But what will I get out of it?" He smiled. "That is the question."
"Hmmm" Kagome thought for a moment longer, then looked up. "If Miroku-sama wins, then I will cook all the meals for one month, and Inuyasha will keep watch every night for that same month." Inuyasha's jaw dropped. He opened his mouth to protest, but Kagome plowed on. "And, if Miroku-sama loses, then he will have to cook and keep watch every night for one month," she finished triumphantly. She stuck out her hand and looked to the houshi. "Deal?"
Miroku smiled confidently and reached for Kagome's hand, shaking it. "Deal," he agreed. Inuyasha raised an eyebrow and smirked.
"Hope your cooking's better than your endurance, bouzou," he shot at Miroku, leaping up to his customary spot on the tree branch. The houshi, seizing an opportunity, sneaked his other hand around Kagome's backside and—
Kagome grabbed it. "Ah ah ah," she warned. "The forty days starts tomorrow morning, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you grope me."
Miroku's face fell slightly, then regained his usual cheerful expression. "Ah! In that case" He started off towards the woods. Kagome blinked.
"Wait where are you going?" she asked curiously.
Without turning his head, Miroku replied absently, "I'm off to go er, get some water. I'm sure there's a river nearby, so at least I won't have to wander for very long."
As he hurried off, the two remaining companions watched him in dismay, then turned to each other. "Some things never change, huh, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, sighing. Inuyasha merely "Feh"ed and continued watching his friend search for a convenient "river". Bouzou you had better damn well lose that bet he thought sharply. Cause I'll be damned if I'm keeping watch for a month.
A:N: Heh that last line is pure Yash. Not to mention Miroku's last line is extremely Miroku. As redundant as that sounds. ^___^;; Well, maybe it's not exactly like the movie. But it's still got the basic plotline down, so no worries!! ^_~; Well, review! Please, I love you!! Tell me what you think! Good, bad, what?? Hai, maa ja!