Tale of a Zoot Weasel (Of Weasels & Doom II (Greasy's POV))
by Julie Riley
Note: This version of the story will be from one of the Weasel Gang's POV. His story is a little different cause it mostly focuses on him.
Hi, my name is Alexander Hérnico Weasely, but you guys know me as Greasy. I'm a brown weasel, the only member of the gang with black hair. I'm part Spanish from my half-Spanish mom's side, and I wear a green zoot suit as you guys can tell. Enough about me, Ceñiros, I'll talk about what had happened back when I was with my comrades. I'm sure my cousin, Sarah, didn't mention alot to you. Now, here's what I remember from long ago, long before the incident of Theodore Valliant:
It was late at night and my mother was trying to prepare some burritos, when we heard a knocking at our door. My mom went and got it. We were both shocked when I realized that Sarah was out in the rain. She was crying and my mom & I took her in quickly.
Now I'm sure that Sarah thinks no one, except me & Psycho, loved her, but that was not true. In fact, my mom has a kind heart and would never call her any bad names.
Sarah exclaimed, "It's awful! My cousin...he thinks..."
But she never finished cause she buried her head on my mother's chest. I had a feeling something happened to her that night.
Many years had passed, and it was 1938. I saw my cousin coming home with a bag of groceries. I wasn't old enough to go on my own, but I did saw what had happened that night. Two cops calling themselves the Valliant Brothers were chasing a Toon. I then saw the Toon about to drop a piano on top of Sarah. I was shocked at what he was doing. I could tell by the shadow it was my other cousin, Doom. One of the brothers, I think Teddy, got her out, but unfortunately didn't get himself out in time.
He was killed by my own cousin, of all people. He laughed evilly at Edward Valliant before disappearing into the night. It didn't look like Theodore was the only one killed by him. I quickly opened the door and gasped as I saw my mother's arm underneath the piano. It was also disappearing from the piano (I think it was the stuff Doom invented earlier, but I didn't found out about it 'til later). Sarah then ran towards me, and kept on saying that she, herself, was cursed.
I don't believe in curses. In fact, I don't like them at all, even if they are real.
In the early 1940s, while World War II was going on, a man by the name of Judge Doom, probably my cousin in disguise, came to me with three other weasels. They were called Wise Guy, Stupid, and Wheezy. We greeted each other like any normal person, but when Psycho was coming back from the asylum with Sarah, things really began to turn. I wouldn't even wanna let you know what they did with the guy. Anyway, we enlisted in Doom's army, but we kinda never read the fine print cause they think reading's for cowards.
For years, we've been trying to keep order of ToonTown, and Doom came up with the idea of CloverLeaf. We've had our good-times through thick & thin. That was until the day I heard that Marvin Acme was killed by a Toon. Sarah came to me first with yellow paint in her hands & what looked like blood in her arm. She exclaimed that the Toon was none other than her brother, Doom himself. She was upset that she was the cause of Marvin's death. I heard the whole truth from her and I had a bad feeling that my friends and I were not going to come back from this case.
While doing my morning exercises the next day, I saw two girls and a dog. I don't know what they looked like, but the older girl was a real looker. They looked like they were trying to hide or something. Anyway, after I have met with my other allies, we've arrived on the scene of the crime, while trying not to point fingers on who really killed him. Besides, Judge Doom was with us and he tried to help us.
And let me tell you, if I would've told them, I would be in big trouble, Amigos.
Anyway, Judge Doom took one of the Toon Shoes with a rubber glove and got out something called DIP, sort a resembled to acid. We've all watched what happened to the Toon, and it ain't pretty. I turned when the others weren't looking, cause I was shedding a tear. Psycho laughed and the others chuckled as I gave him a glare, though it didn't look much like a glare.
After Valiant had left, since we knew who he once was, we all saw the same people again. They looked like they wanted to help out on what's going on, but I told them off before I got really upset and threatened the small girl. Later, we've patrolled all over ToonTown and at Hollywood. We got tired of waiting at Roger Rabbit's house. Finally we managed to get some information at the liquor store on his whereabouts. I pretended not to know anything about what really happened.
We went to Valliant & Valliant, the sure place Roger was hiding. Wise Guy was telling Edward Valliant that, "We just want the rabbit."
We stood back as Wheezy shot the door handle off. I tried getting him off of Roger's mind by saying, "Looks like they gave us the slip, huh, boss?"
But he protested as he took out his gun, "Nah! Valliant's got him stashed somewhere."
I just shrugged and started to look around a bit, and he did have some things that looked pretty nice, like the picture of Theodore for example.
My mind was going on me a little, until our boss told us, "Search the place boys. And leave no stone unturned."
I was the only one who was close enough to hear what they were saying while I just threw some papers and opened what appeared to be bills with my knife. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it had to do something about knowing Roger's whereabouts.
The last thing I heard Wise Guy told him was, "So cut the bullshtick."
Bullstick? What does that mean?
Then I heard Ed say, "You keep talking like that and I'm going to have to wash your mouth out."
I then saw Wise Guy, with soap in his mouth, and we all started laughing, even though it was ridiculous. He told us to stop laughing, as he spit out the soap, and it whacked Wheezy towards the blinders. He whacked me & Psycho before we started to laugh too much, and he threw the plunger at Stupid.
He then went to Valliant telling him if he gets in the way then, "we'll hang you and your laundry out to dry..."
We left the place to search elsewhere, but not before I stayed behind a little, as I heard the voices of Roger & Valliant. I smirked a little, knowing that they're safe from the boys for now before heading out the door. The three showed up once again, saying that there might be some info from other people. Wise Guy managed to give them (mostly the dog) a warning shot. They then headed for the hills, not literally though. A little later on, we were down in the sewers of Hollywood (Psycho was the one who told them to look in the sewers). We then heard music, and it was happy music.
Doesn't anyone know how serious that case I was taking was? There weren't suppose to be happy times right now!
We (me, Wise Guy, and Psycho) peeked our heads off. It was coming from where the Red Car was usually displayed (before Judge Doom bought it out). Wise Guy said to get the judge, so Stupid & I had to go get the judge (since he's usually too dumb to remember anyway (kinda reminds me of that red nose chipmunk)). We got the judge and later on, Doom appeared in the bar as the other weasels & I followed.
In the bar, he was asking for the rabbit. He then went to the blackboard and replaced the French Dip with the words, 'RABBIT DIP, $5000.'
Man, did he have to annoy us too with that squeak from that chalk?
One of them claimed that he saw the rabbit: forgot which one though. But it turned out he was joking, though Judge Doom knew he was in the bar. He threw the record at Stupid, and the guys thought it was pretty funny. I even chuckled a little just for the sake of the small humor. He then told us to stop laughing, or else we'll be dead like the hyenas. He then did his 'Shave in the Haircut' trick to get Roger out. Eventually, he was out of his hideout.
We've caught Roger and the former Toon detective. The judge then told us, "Bring me some DIP."
We did, while trying not to get ourselves spilled on it. He already had his rubber glove on and tried to get Roger to be in the DIP. I looked away from him, not wanting to see anymore pain from anyone else. It was then that a voice shouted, "Hey Judge!"
I looked at Sehñor Edward Valliant as he asked, "Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request?"
"Yeah. Nose plugs would be nice!" Roger told him.
"I think you want a drink."
A drink? Like alcohol? That would make any Toon go crazy!
The judge turned Roger right side up as the detective told him, "How about it Judge?"
Doom then just said, "Well. Why not. I don't mind prolonging the execution."
"No thanks Eddie. I'm trying to cut down," he told the drunk Ed.
"Drink the drink!"
"But I don't want the drink!"
Judge Doom interrupted them saying, "He doesn't want the drink."
That's when Ed and Roger began to argue with the 'Do's & Don'ts'. I then heard him doing that reverse psychology trick saying that he doesn't, until finally Roger took the drink and told him, "Listen, when I say I do, that means I do."
He then drank the alcohol as I put my head down quickly. Roger's whistle was the signal that I had to get up & fight Edward. He punched me first, then pummel Stupid, then uppercut stupid, then used the chair at Wheezy, and finally threw a bottle of beer at Wise Guy. The drink wore off as I got up. The DIP then poured towards us. We quickly made sure we weren't turned into a pile of that stuff. As soon as that dog showed up and drank the stuff like he was a Toon himself, we then went outside to catch up with that rabbit, but realized that Benny the Cab, one of our prisoners, had escaped from our van.
I didn't know what had happened outside cause me & Wheezy were both in the back of the van, but I had guesses on what had happened. Anyway, I'll just skip onto later that night, amigos. That night, Wise Guy told us that Judge Doom was going to commit the final plan: to destroy ToonTown.
ToonTown?! But why would he be interested in my home?
The teen girl & dog followed me as soon as we split up. When I reached my home to get my things, I saw Sarah, crying all over the floor while the dog & girl stayed from me.
"Sarah? What in the world happened to you?" I asked her.
She just looked at me and showed me her arm. I gasped at what she had in her arm. It looked like a part of her was bleeding, and it looked like a different kind of scar from the ones that were normal on her. I glared at the same small girl outside, thinking that she hurt my only relative. But Sarah stopped me from drawing my gun, looking like she wanted to say something. The only words she was able to speak out in my ear was, "It's my brother, Doom..."
Doom? But he was gone for a long time.
I looked at the mark again. It looked like DIP was on her. I then realized something from the past. My mom had the exact same kind of goop when Doom killed her. It was then that I realized the same goop was from Judge Doom.
If Doom had the exact same thing as Judge Doom, then that means that...oh crap!
We both knew it was true: Judge Doom & Sarah's brother were the same person. She hugged me as I hugged her back. It was kinda sappy for a moment until I saw Psycho near the door, shaking his head like something was wrong. I got up from Sarah and told her that I'll take care of it. What I didn't know was I probably won't be able to go back to her.
When I was outside, I heard very little of what she told Psycho, but it was the same thing she was trying to tell me. When Psycho came out, he told me, "I know what you've been doing."
I was shocked when he said that.
"How long have you known?" I told him.
"As long as you were making that smirk before leaving the office. Be glad I'm keeping it a secret. He-he."
I sighed as I headed towards the Toon Patrol Van. I didn't know why he didn't told on me, but I'm glad he understood. The two girls & dog gave me a sad smile, knowing they understand too before leaving me. After Psycho & I got inside the van with the other weasels, I heard Wise Guy say that we were heading to Gingerbread Lane to meet up with the judge. We heard a crash and the moment we were out of ToonTown, we got out and helped both Ed & the dame called Jessica (or Jessie to me) to his car. Later, at the ACME Factory, we were frisking Ed for the will.
Wise Guy told Doom as he was coming down, "We searched Valliant, Boss. The will ain't on him."
"Then frisk the woman!"
That was when I was blinded by the sight of her body. And believe me, she was a really cool-looking dame.
"I'll handle this one," I told them.
That's when I did something I was going to regret. I rolled my sleeve, put my hand between her breasts (while also looking horny), and my hand was caught on a giant bear trap. I screamed & shouted making my comrades laugh. I continued my agony until Doom whacked me towards the false eyes. I was knocked out, but only a little. I woke up a little later, seeing the machine Doom was about to use to destroy ToonTown. He then mentioned something about a freeway he was planning on building.
A Freeway? Hello, Doom! Someone already did that, you idiot!
Psycho looked like he knew what Doom was really after: probably the destruction of all man & Toon-kind. I could tell from his stance. Just as I stood over the manhole, I heard rustling. The water then hit me towards the bag of bricks. I held on as I saw Roger again. He was gonna pay for doing that to me, and I knew how. I took out my knife and began to cut the ropes, and just as the rabbit said, "Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks!", the bricks hit the rabbit on the head.
I then headed down from the ropes, thanks to the same girls & dog, which looked like one of them had powers beyond anything (and that was the last time I saw the three). I then went inside the machine & turned it on as the DIP was heated up. I laughed evilly as I began to power up the machine, but I then saw a picture of my cousin, Sarah. I then began to think that maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved in this after all. Cause if I destroy ToonTown, I'd kill my only other relative as well. I looked out the window and saw Ed doing some crazy stuff with the bowling balls & the pogo stick. I began to laugh, not realizing that Wheezy & Stupid had already started dying from it.
I then saw Wise Guy get hit in the groin and head towards the DIP, which was pretty amusing. It was then as I was laughing my heart out, I felt myself dying, and then...darkness.
When I had awaken, I didn't remember what had just happened or how I got onto the floor. What I did have was a huge headache though. I looked around and already saw Psycho up. The other weasels, including Wise Guy, have started to get up as well. I then saw Sarah, my own cousin. I looked at her as she ran towards Psycho. She cried as she hugged him like she missed us. I noticed that the scar on her arm was completely gone. I don't know what had just happened, but I have a feeling that Sarah had an extraordinary adventure.
I don't know how many years it had been since that time, but I do know that Sarah had been living with us weasels in hiding ever since that day. We've been in hiding ever since that time, until that night...
The weasels & I were going out to see one of the latest movies: Finding Nemo*. Stupid harassed the witch, Witch Hazel, for nearly turning him into a frog. I turned from the stupid one and saw not only Maleficent, but also some black creatures. They attacked us and started beating on us with those sharp nails & dark magic. Maleficent then turned the other way, like she was looking at something and simply said, "We shall meet again, young one. Until then, farewell."
In a puff of smoke, they were gone. Wise Guy got up and looked both curious & angry at Sarah, asking, "Okay, Sarah, tell us about this 'young one' stuff. What's it all about?"
As the rest of us got up, Sarah sighed and said, "I'll tell you what happened, after we get back to our home."
We looked confused, but agreed. By the way, we've been living in the abandoned warehouse at Honeydew Lane for quite sometime. Anyway, after we arrived home and while she was wrapping bandages on us, Sarah told us alot of stuff, about how our world disappeared, how she restored the other worlds, why she was something called 'the Ultimate Princess of Hearts' and how we were brought back. I chuckled a little, cause I thought it was made up while the other three laughed out-loud. Stupid was hit with the roll of bandages as she headed towards her room, crying. I sighed, heading towards the rooftop. I looked up at the sky and saw some stars disappearing while I smoked my cigarette.
I then heard Psycho's voice saying, "You know it's not good to smoke while there's a girl here."
I turned to where Psycho was as he walked towards me. I asked, "And how would you know? You've only known her since the 40s."
"I have my reasons..."
He sat down as he then said to me, "You know, it's strange, but it seems like I'm the only weasel that actually remembers what happened when I died."
He chuckled in his usual way. He then told me about his time as an angel, including finding out about some guy named Zorndyke saying something about the seven so-called 'Keyblade Masters', plus something about seven ultimates.
After that, I then saw the same black creatures that attacked us. Sarah was down there.
Sarah, what's she doing down there? Doesn't she know those creatures are big trouble?
Psycho saw the same thing, looking angrily at them. We've both jumped towards two of those creatures, slashing them with my knife & Psycho's razor. I turned to Sarah saying, "Stay in the warehouse! You'll get killed if you stay here any longer!"
"No! I don't wanna end up losing you again!" she protested.
Psycho looked confused when she said again. We then saw it; a white orb appeared out of Sarah's hand and hit the black creatures, making them vanish. We were shocked at what she did.
"Duh, you really are powerful," a stupid, but familiar voice said.
We turned and saw Wise Guy, Stupid, and Wheezy. They were shocked as we were.
"I guess you were right," the gray weasel said with his scratch voice as he puffed out some smoke, "you must be a princess of something."
She smiled a bit as we nodded. Sarah then told us, "I know I'm a princess, but I think we have to keep it a secret from everyone, especially Roger."
Psycho & I understood her. The others looked at her before nodding in agreement.
"All right," Wise Guy said, "but don't talk to anyone strange or idiotic looking about this."
"Right," we said.
We then split up; Sarah alone, Wise Guy with Stupid, Wheezy alone, and me with Psycho. We headed different directions to find some clues on what was happening. We soon met another Toon, who claims to be a pirate captain, and we then teamed up to help find out what had really happened...but that's going to be another story to be told.
*Author Note: I already saw this movie & I thought it was cute.