Chapter 14: BLOOPERS!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen. . .I give to you. . .the bloopers.

Setting: Michelle's room.

Michelle's alarm goes off. She turns it off and goes back to sleep. Father comes in and wakes her up. She gets out of bed, but instead of walking out of her room, she walks face first into the doorframe.

Michelle: OW!

Director: CUT!! Watch where you're going!

Setting: Michelle's school: hallway, just before going to first bell

Michelle: I don't wanna take Satan's test. Damn, why does that have to be the last one!?

Mel: Because you're cursed? I don't know, but we have, literally, a minute to get to first bell.

Michelle: Good thing that's Trig. I love Tri-CUT!

Director: What!?

Michelle: WHY are you making me say I love Trig? I HATE TRIG!! Trig is the epitome of all evil!!

Director: (sighs) Just do it!

Setting: SSB Mansion: Hallway

Mewtwo: I wonder what kind of mindless tournament they'll make this time

Bowser: Mewtwo, You always lose.

Mewtwo: You do, too, reptile.

Bowser: I'm an am.amfo.amphoebe? What?

Mewtwo starts snickering

Director: CUT!

Setting: Michelle's school: Theatre practice

Michelle starts feeling fatigued, then collapses. . . knocking over half the set

Russ: CUT!

Director: That's my line! You're just an actor! CUUUUT!!!

Setting: SSB Mansion: Control Room

Michelle has just been transported to the mansion. Link hugs her as Samus explains what's going on.

Michelle: Um, Link?

Link: Yes?

Michelle: I can't feel my-(she stops and slaps Link) Keep your hands OFF my butt!!

Director: CUT!!

Link: Sorry, couldn't help myself!

Director: Ugh, I need a break.

Setting: Deku Trees' Meadow

The party is talking to the Deku Tree Sprout, when Ganondorf sets the "sprout" on fire out of frustration.

Ganondorf: All right! Burnination!!

Director: CUT! Get a new set piece in here!


Zelda: Um. . . Yeah, no more sugar for you two.

Setting: Same place

Take one:

Michelle is studying for her exam. Falcon is watching her.

Falcon: What's that? What's with all the numbers and stuff?

Michelle: (muttering to herself) I hate Trig, I hate Trig, I hate Trig, I hate Trig. . .

Director: CUT! Michelle, stop whining and get your cues down!

Take two:

Falcon: What's with all the numbers and stuff?

Michelle: the arc cosine of a square minus b square minus c square divided by negative two times b times c is equal to angle A, arc cosine ten square-

Director: CUT!

Michelle: What!? Do you WANT me to fail Trig!?

Director: Do your homework later, we have a scene to run! (sighs) Why me?

Setting: Death Mountain Crater

Link, Michelle, and Ganondorf are making their way to the Spiritual Stone when Ganondorf slips and falls. Michelle forgets to catch him and there's a loud thud when Ganondorf hits the ground.

Ganondorf: Ow!

Michelle: Sorry!

Director: CUT!!!

Ganondorf: Thank Din for computer generated effects!

Setting: Water Temple: Boss's Room

Take one:

Dark Link introduces himself

Dark Link: I am the exact opposite of that pathetic excuse for a hero, Link.

Michelle: Wait, if you're the opposite of Link, then that means. . .

Dark Link: Yes, I know.

Michelle: Then you ARE gay!

Dark Link: Yes, I know.

Director: CUT!

Dark Link: No, no, I'm NOT gay! I swear it! I'm straight!

Michelle: Do I need to have "the talk" with you?

Dark Link: No. . .

Take two:

Dark Link: Yes, I know.

Michelle: Then you ARE gay!

Dark Link: I am NOT gay! I'll prove it!

(He grabs Michelle and kisses her)

Director: Cut cut CUT!!!

(Michelle kicks his manhood, then storms off)

Director: I hate my life. . .

Setting: Sacred Realm

Take one:

Link is carrying Michelle. He's trying to get the Triforce to cure her.

Link: Please, Goddesses of Hyrule, Please remove Kimoru's spirit from Miche-

(Triforce falls over. Everyone starts laughing)

Director: CUT! Get that set piece back up!

Take two:

Link: Please, Go-

(He drops Michelle)

Michelle: Oof!

Link: Sorry!

Director: CUUUUT!

Take three:

Link: Please, Goddesses of Hyrule, Please remove Kimoru's spirit from Michelle's body!


Link: Uhh. . .what's the rest of my line?

Director: CUT!

Setting: Same place

Michelle has just been cured. Link kisses Michelle, and they keep making out.

Director: You can stop now.

(They still kiss)

Director: I said you can stop now

(They stop)

Link: I'm sorry, did you say something?

Director: Ugh! You guys are getting a new director for the next fic, because I'm going to go shoot myself now.

And that's the end of my story! I hope you guys liked it! Sorry it took so long for me to finish it! The bloopers were extra long to make up for lost time. I've already got ideas for a sequal, but it might be a while before it comes out. Please review!