By Daimyo Shi
I don't own Love Hina. I wish I had Keitaro's ladies luck, or Motoko's love which ever the genie will give me.
change of place
Shinobu was shopping in Hina City for food when she spotted an odd looking shop. Curious she entered the shop. Inside there was a vast array of antiques and art objects from around the world. One wall was filled with old hard bound books, some more than 15 centimetres thick.. There were many oddly placed shelves with heaps of odd bits like teeth in jars, skulls, candle sticks, stones, glass globes and many other things that Shinobu had never seen. However, she be came drawn to a battered brass lamp much like those in the Arabia. Shinobu picked it up.
(It is so old, I wonder if anyone at Hinata sou has ever seen something like this. I wonder how much it is.)
"I see you found something that interest you?"
Shinobu jumps a bit, startled by the presence of the man that was now beside her.
"I sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." say a western man in perfect Japanese. He was dressed very strangely A black robe with embroidered moons and stars cover most of his body. He had rings on each hand and a large necklace of golden globes around his neck. A gnarled wooden staff was in his left hand. Shinobu found him slightly unnerving since that the store had wooden floors but she hadn't heard the man approach.
"Ano . . . I was wondering how much this lamp is." asks Shinobu shyly.
The man smiles broadly "For you, 500 yen."
"I see . . . Ok I shall take it." Says Shinobu as she gets 500 yen coin from her change purse.
"Thank you, can I help you with anything else?" says the man.
"No thank you, sir, I need to get going." says Shinobu.
"Well then have a interesting day then." says the man with a smile.
Shinobu leaves the Store and walks back to Hinata Sou. She goes to the kitchen and puts away the food. She then goes up to her room and puts the lamp on the table. Shinobu begins to fold and put away her clothes that Naru had washed for her earlier in the day. At the bottom of her shirt drawer sits a book. I haven't seen this one in a very long time. thinks Shinobu as she pulls it out of the drawer. The book is titled a Thousand and one Nights. Thumbing through it she finds the story of Aladdin. The Genie in this story is so cool. He came out of a lamp . . . just like this one. thinks Shinobu picks up her lamp. Now Aladdin just rubbed it didn't he? Wouldn't it be funny if there was a Genie in this one. Shinobu chuckles for a moment and then sighs. She grabs a cloth and begins to rub it. A fine purple mist leaks out of the lamp and forms into a large purple hued arab man. "You have freed me from the lamp, alas the time of genies has ended on the world and I must leave, but I shall give you one wish before I leave." says the Genie.
Shinobu looks at the genie is surprise. "You are real?" she asks.
"Yes I am, now I need you to make a wish so that I can go and see my fellow genies."
"A wish . . . I wish that I was the perfect woman for Urashima Keitaro." says Shinobu.
"Easy as making coffee." says the Genie waving his hand and after that he becomes mist again and disappears.
"Shinobu looks in her room's full length mirror and she notices she change a quite a bit. She now 175 cm tall the dress she had on was much tighter now and shorter as a result. Her bust was now as big as Mutsumi's and strained in the confines of the shirt Shinobu was wearing. Her figure was filled out a little more and her hair was much longer down to the middle of her back much like Naru's. It worked. thinks Shinobu I have to find some looser clothes. Shinobu searches her room for the baggiest clothing she owns and then grabs her purse and wallet. I need new clothes, I need help. Kitsune is home. Maybe she can help. Shinobu walks down the stairs to Kitsune's room and knocks on the door. From the other side of the door comes a "Hello, who is it?"
"It is me, Shinobu I . . . I have a problem Kitsune and I need you help."
"Come in then." says Kitsune.
Shinobu opens the door and sees Kitsune sitting on her couch.
"Wait, Naru how did you make you voice sound like Shinobu, and you dyed your hair." says Kitsune
"No, Kitsune-Senpai, It is me." says Shinobu walking in, in her normal timid manner.
"Shinobu? What happened?" says Kitsune.
Shinobu explains about the lamp and the genie and her wish.
"So you really like Keitaro? Well I guess you do have a problem." says Kitsune.
"I need new clothes, mine largely won't fit Kitsune."
"Ok well we just going to go shopping. How much money do you have?" asks Kitsune.
"7500 yen, Kitsune-Senpai."
"Kuso, that little and we are talking a whole new wardrobe too. Well then we must ask Daimyo Shi for the money."
"Daimyo Shi? Are you sure, I mean I can't really borrow money. I don't have a job." says Shinobu
"Never mind that, Daimyo Shi is such a sucker (1) for a sob story, anyway, he well off enough to have some spare cash. After all, it you walk around in that outfit all the time all the guys will have nosebleeds." says Kitsune with a smirk.
"I see, Kitsune-Senpai." says Shinobu.
"Come on I think Daimyo Shi is in his room." says Kitsune. Both Shinobu and Kitsune go past the door to the women's bath towards the Daimyo Shi room. Kitsune knocks on the door.
"Who is it?"
"Kitsune and Shinobu, Daimyo Shi cane we come in?"
"Sure." says Daimyo Shi.
Kitsune opens the door showing a Japanese room with A computer desk and chair against the far wall. There is a table, sit on which is two different Daisho. Another Wall is lined bookcases filled floor to ceiling with books. There is a Kamidana on a shelf next to a chest of drawers with a Stereo completes the room. Kitsune sees Daimyo Shi typing away on his computer. Daimyo Shi is dressed in black pair of jeans, a T-shirt that says 'I know I'm not Perfect, but I'm Canadian (which is close enough)' and black socks. Daimyo Shi turns around and faces Kitsune "How are you?" asks Daimyo Shi before Shinobu walks into view. "Ara? Who is this beautiful young woman?" asks Daimyo Shi.
"It is me, Shinobu, Daimyo Shi-sensei" says Shinobu.
"NANI!? What happened to you Shinobu-chan, I mean you are so . . . Uh . . . mature now." stammers Daimyo Shi.
"See, Shinobu, if you can fluster Daimyo Shi like this imagine what Keitaro will be like." says Kitsune with an evil smirk.
"Not to interrupt but how did this happen?" asks Daimyo Shi.
"Well short answer is that I bought an old Lamp like the ones in 'A Thousand and One Nights' and when I rubbed it a Genie came out. For freeing him I got one wish. I wished to be the perfect girl for Keitaro." says Shinobu with a deep red blush.
Daimyo Shi looks at her for a moment seeing the number of similarities to some of the other Hina girls now blended in to Shinobu's body. "Well there is no doubt that you are now and incredibly beautiful woman Shinobu-chan. I sure you will get an reaction out of Keitaro."says Daimyo Shi
(and likely another very bad reaction out of Naru.) thinks Daimyo Shi. "Still what can I do for you two?"
"Well Shinobu-chan needs a new wardrobe she kind of out grown her current one." says Kitsune.
"I see, so you want me to foot the bill." says Daimyo Shi with a troubled expression on his face.
"Well . . . Uh . . . I have no one else to turn to, Sensei." says Shinobu with a very deep bow.
"Yeah, I know anyway let me get my wallet." says Daimyo Shi. Daimyo Shi grabs his wallet and all three of them put on their shoes. Daimyo Shi puts on a pair of Black RCMP(2) boots. The Three of them leave Hinata Sou for the local Street Car stop. As they walk Shinobu notices that several men of all ages staring at her. She clutches hard to Daimyo Shi.
"Nani? What is wrong Shinobu?" asks Daimyo Shi
"Everyone is looking at me." whispers Shinobu in a scared voice.
"You have to get use to it Shinobu, it the price of being a beautiful women in Japan. All of the guys ogle you." says Kitsune "Happens to me all the time."
"Oh . . ." says Shinobu (maybe I should have though about my wish more carefully.)
"Besides, when we get you some better clothing, your assets won't be so on display."
Shinobu blushes deeply and they continue towards the Street car stop. Shinobu, Daimyo Shi, and Kitsune get on the street car. Do to the crowded conditions of the car they all have to stand. After several minutes, Shinobu feels someone grab her ass. She yells "Ahhhh!" Daimyo Shi quickly looks behind her and see a young looking man with his hand on her ass.
" Hey fuck head let her go ." says Daimyo Shi
The man lets go " What is it to you Gaijin."
" There is no need for that. Can't a women get on public transit without being accosted? " says Daimyo Shi.
" Uh maybe you should just let it be Daimyo Shi ." says Kitsune.
" Not when she dressed like that. She should expect it. nanban" says the guy.
" The only nanban I see is sitting right in front of me. At least in my country A woman can get on public transit without fear of being groped ."
" Oh yes the 'enlightened west they are so perfect. You American are all alike arrogant, snot-nosed brats that need a spanking. You convinced that your way is the best way. Well this is Japan. Get fuckin' use to it ." says the man in a voice dripping of sarcasms.
" Look fuck head, read the shirt, I am Canadian! Now I am going to say the really simply so that you IQ 40 brain can understand. Touch her again and you shall face my wrath ." says Daimyo Shi with snarl.
"Uh, Daimyo Shi this is our stop." says Kitsune.
Shinobu, Kitsune and Daimyo Shi get of the Street car after walking three steps Daimyo Shi senses ki and turns around to see that the man has followed them.
" Do you just talk the talk or can you walk the walk , nanban." says the angry looking man.
"Daimyo Shi, let's just go." says Kitsune.
"No, I'll be fine, I been challenged, it be a dishonour to refuse even if he so far below me." says Daimyo Shi. Daimyo Shi pulls out a cigarette (3) pack and takes one out and puts it in his mouth then takes out a Zippo lighter with the kanji Shi on it making sure to flash the Kanji at the man. Daimyo Shi lights his cigarette and folds his arms. "I am ready ahou."
"You speak Japanese?" says the Man.
"Aa, Ahou, fluently!" says Daimyo Shi with a evil smirk.
The man charges at Daimyo Shi, who sidesteps the attack. The man follows up with snap kick which Daimyo Shi blocks with a double arm block. Daimyo Shi then launches his own attack, a crescent kick. The man tacks the hit so to better land a double hit kick. This knocks Daimyo Shi through the wooden sign that was on the sidewalk. Daimyo Shi hits the ground hard. Despite that Daimyo Shi gets up without any effort or noticeable affect. He leap kicked at the man, who barely manages to dodge Daimyo Shi's kick. The man countered with a snap kick that Daimyo Shi easily blocks. Daimyo Shi responded with a karate punch that landed on the man's jaw sending him flying back. He recovers and comes dashing in with a uppercut that Daimyo Shi sidesteps with ease. Daimyo Shi responded with a double hit kick that sent the man flying of the ground. Daimyo Shi turns around to continue walking with Shinobu and Kitsune. A click of a folding knife can be heard.
"He has a Knife Daimyo Shi." yells Kitsune.
"Oh Daimyo Shi-sensei be careful!" says Shinobu.
Daimyo Shi turns around and says under his breath "Good a reason to really hurt him." Daimyo Shi's evil smirk returns. "Aku Soku Zan" whispers Daimyo Shi.
The man charges Daimyo Shi, who grabs his arm and begins to Aikido throw the man sidestepping the attack. However, Daimyo Shi retain control of the arm and flips around the back using the momentum of the charge to carry through. Daimyo Shi twists the arm of the man behind his back and with a squishy pop dislocates the man's shoulder. The man screams and drops the knife. He falls to the ground screaming in pain. Daimyo Shi reaches down for the knife, he unlocks it and folds it.
"Nice Knife, I think I will keep it. Perhaps, you have learned two lessons today. One, don't harass women and two, don't judge a man by his skin tone." Daimyo Shi turns his back on his foe and walks towards Kitsune and Shinobu.
"Shall we continue?" asks Daimyo Shi like nothing has happened.
"Was that really necessary?" asks Kitsune.
"It would depend who defines necessary. I though it was. I did what I though need to be done. I sorry if I cause you a lose of face, Kitsune."
"No that not what I meant . . . come on let's get some nice clothes, ne Shinobu-chan."
"Hai." says Shinobu. (I never knew Daimyo Shi could fight like that without his Katana. He was so cool.)
All three of them walk to the Women's clothing store that Kitsune was taking them too.
"See Daimyo Shi I am looking out for you, they are having a Store Wide 30 off sale." says Kitsune with a smile.
"Thanks." says Daimyo Shi.
The enter the store and Shinobu and Kitsune begin looking at clothes. A Older Japanese lady about 35 years old, with Kaimiko on her name tag comes up and says "can I help you with anything?"
"Yeah, get me a chair, and then help these two as much as possible." says Daimyo Shi.
"A Chair?" asks Kaimiko.
"Hai, that what the guy who is paying wants." says Daimyo Shi.
Kaimiko goes to get Daimyo Shi a Chair and then helps Kitsune and Shinobu with clothes. Daimyo Shi occasionally nods approval at the clothes when Kitsune and Shinobu ask for opinions. Then agree that they have enough for Shinobu's new wardrobe. Daimyo Shi gets of the chair and goes to the counter.
Kaimiko says "That will be 456700 yen."
"The clothes, not the store." says Daimyo Shi.
"That is the clothes." says Kaimiko.
"You take Visa?" says Daimyo Shi. Kaimiko nods. Daimyo Shi takes out a Visa Palatinum card out which Kaimiko then runs it through the charge machine.
"Oh, I put some back Daimyo Shi-sensei." says Shinobu after seeing the total.
"It is ok, it no big deal." says Daimyo Shi. "Don't worry about it."
"I never forget what you done for me, I am forever in you debt." says Shinobu.
"It ok, I said don't worry about it. Just remind me to hit the bank before we go home to Hinata Sou."
"Ok Daimyo Shi-sensei." says Shinobu.
"You are her teacher?" asks Kaimiko as she hands back Daimyo Shi's Card and the receipt that he then signs.
"Uh . . . Hai I teach her English."
Kaimiko snorts and as the three of them leave whispers under her voice "Hentai."
Outside, Shinobu stops to ask "Daimyo Shi-sensei, did you her what she called you?"
"Why she call you that?" asks Shinobu.
Kitsune looks at Shinobu while considering what to say next.
"Because she thought because I was you teacher and buying you clothes that I was having a 'inappropriate relationship' with you."
"Oh." says Shinobu the three of them walk a little further before Shinobu speaks up again.
"You mean she though you were fucking me?" says Shinobu.
Daimyo Shi and Kitsune sweat drops, "Uh yes, likely." says Daimyo Shi.
"Oh . . . that was kind of rude of her." says Shinobu.
All three have an uneventful ride back to Hina City on the Streetcar.
"Daimyo Shi-sensei, remember that you wanted to go to the bank before we when home." reminds Shinobu.
"Thanks Shinobu-chan." the three of them go into the bank and Shinobu and Kitsune wait as Daimyo Shi finish making is payment. They continue up to Hinata Sou.
The weretiger in question is sleeping in his favourite tree. He opens his eyes as Kitsune, Shinobu, and Daimyo shi pass.
"Hm... Hey Naru! Did you dye your-(takes a sniff, blinks) ... Huh?" says Talon
"Hello, Talon-kun!" says Shinobu with a big smile.
"Ah... Hi... You know, you smell like a friend of mine..." replies Talon to Shinobu's greeting
"Um... Yes Talon, that's because she is. This is Shinobu. Ahou." says Daimyo Shi.
"... My... Everyone's growing up so fast these days, eh heh..." replies Talon.
Kitsune, Shinobu and Daimyo Shi continue into Hinata Sou.
"I am going back to my room, please come get me for supper." says Daimyo Shi.
"Ok no problem, Daimyo Shi-sensei." says Shinobu.
"Hey thanks for the help.' says Kitsune.
"Sure no problem." says Daimyo Shi as he heads down the stairs to his room.
Shinobu and Kitsune put away the clothes.
(I wonder what Keitaro will think of me.) thinks Shinobu.
(1) I am a complete sucker for a pretty lady especially one with a sob story.
(2) Royal Canadian Mounted Police
(3) I do smoke sometimes about once ever three months, but I still am a bad example. Don't Smoke, It will kill you!
General note: I had a couple people complain about the fight anyway when I wrote it I wasn't just in that kind of mood and really other than paying for stuff there be no point in this self insert. It give me something to do, Further I am a very chivalrous kind of man so it was in character and given that Shinobu is wearing something very tight and short now that she has the same height as Motoko.
Kuso: something along the lines of Shit.
Daisho: literally Long and short, it is term that refers to the Katana and Wakazashi as paired, so that they match.
Katana: A Japanese long Sword that has a slightly curved blade, between 80cm and 90cm in Blade length. The sword and soul of a samurai.
Wakazashi: A Japanese short Sword that also has a Slightly Curved blade, between 60 and 70 cm. A secondary sword for Samurai.
Kamidana: A Home Shrine to the Kami.
Tatami: Floor mats often seen in Hinata Sou. They are a traditional mat made of rice Straw.
Sensei used often for professional people like teachers, doctors and the like. My Job at in Hina City is that of a English teacher.
Senpai roughly means senior as student very common in Japan. In Ranma ½ it used often with Takiwaki Kuno which is why in the dub he called Upper class man Kuno. Shinobu often uses it with Keitaro, while it is true it also is seen as being a hint that Shinobu is fond of Keitaro since Keitaro often calls Naru by her last name with a similar romantic intent.
-chan, honorific means small or little often used between parents and children, sometime between friends can be use between lovers too. Most often used for girls.
-kun, Sort of a male version of Chan but more masculine often used between friends and older people to boys that they know. Kei-kun is a favourite of Mutsumi for Keitaro.
San is Mister or Miss, a polite way to address an inferior or an equal. Note that both this and sama are used with a family name which in Japan come first
Gaijin outsider/foreigner not always polite thing to say.
Nanban Southern Barbarian, old name for white people from shogunate times.
Shi can mean a number of thing but in this case it means death.
Ahou Idiot, it is a Kyoto term rather than the Baka which is more of Tokyo term. Motoko uses it occasionally but it biggest user is Saitou Hajime in Rurounin Kenshin hence why I like the term.
Aa a masculine and rough way of saying yes
Aku Soku Zan: According to Rurounin Kenshin this is the motto of the Shinsengumi. It means roughly slay evil instantly.
Onii-san means big brother