Cobra Gets Responsible?

I do not own anything, bladdy baddy, blah. OK, remember how at the end of every ep of G.I. Joe the

would have one of the Joes pop up and tell kids that they shouldn't steal, take drugs, stick their

head in a microwave, etc.? What if Cobra had to do the public service announcments? Here's how it

would go........

Scene I

(3 boys are walking in the park- Terry, Charly and Rick. They have a football.)

TERRY: This looks like a good place to play.

CHARLY: But Terry, there's only three of us. We need one more person to make even teams.

RICK: Look, there's Frank. (He points at a skinny bespectacled kid sitting on a park bench.) Let's ask

him to play.

TERRY: Get real, Rick! Frank's a loser.

CHARLY: And a dork!

(Enter Cobra Commander)

COBRA COMMANDER: Hello boys! Nice day for football.

BOYS: Cobra Commander!

COBRA COMMANDER: What's this I hear about you not wanting to play with Frank?

RICK: Charly and Terry think he's a dork, but we need someone to play football with us.

TERRY: Why don't you play with us, Cobra Commander?

CHARLY: Yeah, you're not a geeky little wuss like Frank!

COBRA COMMANDER: Boys, boys! Don't you know what happens when you exclude others? They get bitter

and resentful! Then one day, they take their daddy's gun and get their revenge!

RICK: So...we should let Frank play with us so he doesn't go berserk and kill us later?

COBRA COMMANDER: And hang out with a dork? No! You need to kill Frank before he kills you!

TERRY: Thanks, Cobra Commander! Now we know!

COBRA COMMANDER: And knowing is half the battle!

Scene II

(Lemonade stand in the suburbs. Candy and Corey are running the stand under a scrawled "Lemonade -

10/c" sign. They look sad.)

CANDY: Why isn't anyone buying our lemonade?

COREY: It's that dumb old Roger Phillips down the street! People come to his stand before ours.

CANDY: What if we lowered our price to a nickle?

(Enter Destro)

DESTRO: How's the lemonade today, kids?

KIDS: Destro!

DESTRO: Roger is doing quite well. (Pours himself a drink.)

COREY: Yeah, everyone is buying from him and not us!

DESTRO: Well, Corey, have you considered offering a service that Roger doesn't?

CANDY: You mean we could, like, sell cookies or something?

DESTRO: Ha,ha! Of course not, Candy! I'm suggesting a protection racket! You go over to Roger and

tell him that if he doesn't cough up 15% of his income, you'll trash his stand.

COREY: Wow! What a great idea!

CANDY: We can do that to other lemonade stands in the neighborhood!

COREY: We'll be rich!

(next scene: Corey and Candy are bullying Roger, who meekly hands them a few dollars.)

CANDY: Wow! What a haul! C'mon, Corey, let's do the sno-cone stand next!

COREY: Thanks, Destro! Now we know!

DESTRO: And knowing is half the battle!