Disclaimer: I don't own any of the BTVS characters, Joss and co. are the owners, so don't sue me I don't have any money.
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Summary: This fic takes place after Beneath You (One of my favorite episodes of season 7 maybe even of all the seasons.) Spike has told Buffy his secret, now it's Buffy's turn to tell him her secret. This story will be slightly AU, well basically duh its AU, but I'm still keeping some of the Season Seven storyline.
The glow of the moon filtered through the window, reaching her feet while her face remained in shadow just like the rest of the room. She was curled up against the pillows, wearing a pensive expression on her face. She had ran away from the church in confusion and shock to find Dawn with her arms crossed ready for an explanation of the events of the night. She had told Dawn that she would give her an explanation later in the morning because she was too tired, much to the teenager's protest and anger.
Many thoughts swam through her mind. Spike. The bleached vampire was back again. His departure had been a shock to her even after the attempted rape. She had never expected him to leave. He had said he'd never leave her right? He had been the only guy that wouldn't leave her no matter what, not even after the way she had treated him. Angel, Riley and even her father had left her life.
Spike was back, and she knew this time it was real. Back in the high school basement, she had thought he had been a mirage. It had been really crazy down there, and speaking of crazy, Spike had been acting just that.
He was back despite everything that occurred the past year. Back with a soul. A soul? Why would he have a soul? She had wondered and he said it was for her. A soul for her, at that moment it had been too much to comprehend. It was still a mystery to her how he had obtained a soul, and she didn't know whether it was a curse or not. Many times she had told him before that she couldn't love him because he had no soul, and now he had one, one that seemed to be driving him insane. The way he acted in the church made her heart ache, guilt had swept through her instantly.
Last year she had used him without any consent of his feelings, she had just wanted to feel and he was there for her. She knew it was wrong, he was a soulless vampire, but at that moment, all she cared about was to feel. She ended up abusing him emotionally as well as physically all for her selfish needs. She knew she had been a total bitch to him, and it made her heart ache with guilt and pain. It hurt when she had seen Anya and him at the Magic Box having sex, she couldn't understand at first why, after all she didn't love him but after much thinking she realized that a part of her cared for him even if she didn't admit it out loud. At first, she had been angry and shaken after the attempted rape, but she had come to realize that all her actions had led him to that desperate act, and seeing the regret in his eyes led her to believe that it hadn't been his intention to come and try to rape her. Yet something caused him to snap like that. And over time she forgave him, but she wasn't ready to tell him that.
After the near apocalypse with Willow, she had time to think about all the recent events that occurred in her life, and it was then that she had made all those realizations when an important discovery was made. She had been feeling sick, throwing up every morning, but she ignored it thinking it was some kind of flu and it would soon pass. Dawn had found out and had insisted that she go to the doctor. Reluctantly, she went when her sister threatened to get Xander to help with the convincing. Her visit to the doctor seemed to be going real well, at least that's the way it seemed until the end. The doctor came into the room with a clipboard in hand, Buffy expected the doctor to give her a prescription for the flu, but what she received instead was unexpected news.
The doctor told her that she was pregnant. She had been in complete shock, and numb at the time of the news. She couldn't believe that she was pregnant, she had only been with Spike, who was a vampire and couldn't possibly impregnate her. Yet somehow he did, and she hadn't realized her missed periods with all the stuff that went with her life as the Slayer. She had been angry at times, feeling that she didn't want the child growing inside her. But as soon as she considered the thought of abortion it fled her mind, she knew that she could never do that. Fear had enveloped her during the last two months, making her wonder how she was going to be a mother and a Slayer and her child have no father. Dawn and Xander, knew nothing of her pregnancy, she hadn't dared to tell them. She knew she couldn't hide the truth from them forever, since her pregnancy would soon start to show. She was about to enter her third month of pregnancy. It was time to tell the truth to her friends including the father. She wasn't eager to do that, but she knew she had to.
A/N: I guess this chapter was short, but more will be on the way. Please review!