Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.

Summary: In the last chapter Goten discussed his issues with Gohan but things seemed to have gotten worse. Gohan and Goten got into a quarrel and both were left with broken hearts and retribution. Goten blew up at Gohan and blasted off away into a lonely desolated place. Now in this chapter Goten sorts out his own thoughts about his father and the things that seem to be going wrong in life.

My Pain Alone

Chapter Four: Sorting thoughts  

Goten said alone in a small dark cave while concealing his ki. Every second it seemed to be raising and he was brimming with energy. His aura was changing its appearance also…it seemed darker…more like a blackish blue instead of the purified white aura. It was so odd, out of all the people, Goten thought he could trust Gohan with everything, his thoughts, emotions, energy, life…but no…you can't trust anybody, your always alone in the world.

"Why isn't life resuming its toll?" Goten asked himself. "It seems like everyday things get worse instead of better."

Indeed it was true. Over the years Goten drifted away from his parents wing of protection a made a new. He realized that the world would never always be there for him for the future to come, and the world kept true to its word. Things got harder for Goten as he struggled in school and training. His mother wanted him to study, and his father wanted him to train. Of course his mother priorities came first and he succeeded in the field of study. He wasn't an A student but he got B's which was good enough for Chichi.

Now when it came to training Goten thought he had it down. A few kicks, some punches there, fusion, turning Super Saiyan, and there you go: your average Saiyan fight. Yet something was wrong whenever he sparred with his father. As he threw his ordinary roundhouse kicks his father would only provoke him to further annoyance until he broke and used up all his energy. That is when Goku would take advantage of the situation and over power Goten with his Super Saiyan abilities and kick his ass. But that didn't sound fair to him now did it?


Of course not! It was preposterous to Goten! Why did everything seem to fall and collapse upon him? It was like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and he seemed hated by all around him.

"Maybe I shouldn't even be here," he said miserably, "I bet dad would love that, me being gone forever and out of his grasp…what a great deal to go through."

Life seemed so far away for the young boy as he walked steadily around the damp cove. His ki was still concealed and nothing more could be done for him…it seemed dead.

The young Saiyan sighed heavily and shook his head in shame, "No…I think its just me…mother and father already hate me, I pushed my friends away, yelled at Gohan…"

~*~Flash Back~*~

A young Goten ran while giggling happily through the forest. He was in search of his big brother and he called his name aloud.


Nothing came to a reply. It was then his curiosity got the best of him. He wandered off deeper into the woods until he felt something inside that felt like Gohan. As Goten moved the bushes from his sight, he saw a familiar figure.

His eyes brightened and he beamed. "Hiya Gohan!"

Gohan turned his head towards Goten and stared blankly. A blunt look was upon his face and stared in confusion. "What do you want?"

"Mum said it was time for dinner," he said softly. "Why are you so sad?"

"Today, five years ago, someone left you, mom, and I," Gohan said bitterly. "Don't mind us Goten, you keep up with your exploring."

Goten tilted his head to the side and shrugged, "Okie dokie nichan, whatever you say!"

He skipped happily through the woods and back to his home. He followed a light trail of wind when all of a sudden he heard a scream of agony. Goten's eyes widened in horror as he realized it was Gohan's. He ran as fast as he could to his brother and saw once again.


Yet his brother couldn't hear him.


Goten trembled in fear as he saw a look of death in his brother's eyes. He shook his head and stumbled backwards and fell. "G-Gohan? What's the matter?"

Gohan kept screaming at he sky and heavens began to tremble. As it happened, tears streamed down Goten's face and he ran as fast as he could from the scene…

~*~End of Flash Back~*~

Goten shook the thoughts out of his head and wiped the tears away. "I said I would never bring that up…"