KIWI'S NOTES: YAY! I got it! ^o^ Thankyuuuuuuuuu!



By Logo


I am now under the firm belief that Ryou is the best thing to hold on to. The worst thing would probably be a porcupine, but I'm not interested in things that can be held on to, I'm interested in the fact that I'm holding on to Ryou. He's snuggled up close to me. Awake, of course, but sleepy and a bit annoyed. It's hard not to be annoyed when you're woken up earlier than you'd like by someone yelling about how someone is going to die when they find out who it was that shoved a sock in their mouth.

Yami sounded really pissed. Can't help but wonder why. After all, it was a CLEAN sock. Marik, who sounds even worse than he did yesterday, is just complaining about noisy pharaohs with no consideration. Yarik is currently unaccounted for. He's probably raiding the kitchen.

When Yami turns his attention on me, I don't listen to him. My mind is reliving what happened between Ryou and I last night. I'm feeling sticky for a reason. Since it wouldn't be a wonderful idea to fuck each other in a room with four other people, Ryou thought it would be nice to just give me a hand job instead. He was right. It was nice. But I think I probably woke someone up.

But now the image Ryou licking my sticky mess off his hands in a deliberately seductive manner is looping in my brain. So yeah, it's pretty much impossible for me to focus on anything Yami is saying.

"Are you even LISTENING to me?!"

Hmm, that got my attention. Must come up with creative way of destroying him now, I don't like being pulled out of a fan... no wait, it wasn't a fantasy, it was reliving what actually happened! Now I must indulge in that fact.


And now, I stupidly expect Yami to leave me alone now. I was wrong. But I get to drift again.

While Yami goes on and on with his little rant, I watch Ryou. He's gone back to sleep. No wait, he's woken up. Burying his face in my chest and going back to sleep again.

I love this kid.

Yami gives up, grabs Yugi and their clothes and leaves the room. Slamming the door behind him, and scaring Ryou. Who goes back to sleep. He sleeps like a brick, I swear.

Marik, who is the complete opposite and can't sleep after being woken up, just sits there, sniffling pathetically. I think his cold got worse overnight.

After a few moments, he decides to go after them, and leaves the room, grabbing his clothes. Which leaves me to go back to sleep with my Ryou.

Unfortunately, like Marik, I find sleeping EXTREMELY difficult after being woken up, and so I settle for just holding him, with my eyes closed so I (should) look like I'm asleep.

I ignore it when someone comes back in. Don't even look to see who it is. I don't even HEAR him climb up the ladder, for some mysterious reason, but then again, I wasn't listening FOR it, since I have Ryou's breathing to focus on. But I certainly DID notice the bright flash, which not only causes me to sit up in alarm, but also wakes Ryou.

Marik grins evilly over the camera, jumps off the bed, and runs out of the room. I would normally chase him, but Ryou attacked me. Yes, he seems quite awake now. Shoving his tongue down my throat. Fun. Killing Marik can wait.

Annoyingly, he breaks off after only a few seconds. "We should go downstairs," he murmurs. I am inclined to disagree. I am quite happy being where I am and doing what I am doing. Until he leaves the bed, which makes staying here completely pointless, so I follow him.

After having a quick (full-body) wash in the bathroom (conveniently spider-free), and putting some clothes on, I head downstairs and into the kitchen, to find Yarik gazing longingly at a cucumber, Joey eating, and Ryou buttering crumpets.

I steal a crumpet, because I like crumpets, and stare at Yarik, who is confusing me with that cucumber.

"If you don't want to be raped, I suggest not staring at me."

Ah, I see. The cucumber is long and cylindrical, which reminds him of sex, which he has gone without for one whole night (probably a record for him).

"What were you doing in the fridge in the first place?" I ask.

"Looking for food," Joey explained. "I stopped him from getting the good stuff."

"So you could get at it yourself," Ryou comments, rolling his eyes, and sitting on the counter.

"And you're always telling ME not to sit on the counter?"

"Hey, there's no chairs in here!" Ryou responds. "Shut up and eat your crumpet."

I glare at him and sit up on the counter as well, trying to eat the crumpet without any of the excessive amount of butter dribbling down my face. A slightly more difficult task than it sounds - Ryou uses a LOT of butter when it comes to crumpets.

Yarik throws various things out of the fridge onto the floor, mostly things he doesn't like. Such as eggs. Which makes no sense, because they weren't even in the way.

Joey finds a carrot, and Yarik takes it off him, before gazing at it with a pathetic expression on his face. And then eating it. Joey is confused, but thinks it better not to ask.

Ryou rolls his eyes, shaking his head. He dumps the plate in the sink, wipes the butter off his face, before grabbing me and dragging me into the living room. Not before Yarik wails at us, though.

"If you're going up to your room to fuck, let the rest of us come too! It's not fair to leave us out!"

"Yarik, as much fun as a sevensome sounds, shut the fuck up and get some breakfast."

Joey snorts at this. Somehow, I don't think he'd want to be included.

"You're evil," Yarik responds, before I'm hit in the forehead by a well-aimed flying carrot, point first. It actually quite hurt - my vision flashed. Was about to lunge at him, but Ryou tugged at the neck of my shirt and made me choke, which quite definitely distracted me.

Yami and Yugi are playing on the GameCube, on a racing game. Don't bother to pay much attention here. I'm more concerned with the fact that Marik is on the computer, toying with that photo he took with Ryou's digital camera.

"Cool photo," Ryou comments. Glad to know at least ONE of us is happy with being unwittingly photographed. Marik toys around with it some more. It's now tinted blue. How odd. It looks okay though.

"I was bored," Marik responds, sniffing. "Can't have a decent conversation with Yarik, he won't shut up about sex."

So, Yarik thinks HE needs sex? He hasn't spent five thousand years trapped in a lump of metal.

In fact, Yarik's origins hurt my brain. At least I know mine, Yarik just kind of... appeared out of nothingness. Well, not quite, but I don't know the story so that's all I've got to go on. Either way, Yarik's not been around for even a tiny fraction of the time I have. And he thinks he can rival me in sexual frustration? Sure, he's more vocal, but...

Holy shit, what the hell's wrong with me? I'm being competetive over how long I've gone without sex. That is just wrong. It's nothing to be proud of. Dammit! Yarik's WINNING in this situation!

I've drifted again.

Marik tweaking his little photo is boring. I turn my attention to Yami and Yugi's game. Yugi's just lost. What a surprise.

"You know what that means, aibou," Yami says, smirking.

"Of course I do, why else would I have taken on that bet?"


"It means I don't have to do ALL the work tonight! It gets a little exhausting after a while."

Well now, I wonder what they're talking about? It could be to do with chores, but most likely it's a case of who fucks who.

I know who fucks who in my case. Unless Ryou tries the sneaky "I wanna be dominant" trick again, like he did last night.

Speaking of which, I've just had a thought.

"Yugi," I growl. "Were you and Ryou by any chance plotting against me last night?"

"Maybe," is the annoyingly simple reply I get. "It's none of your business, is it?"

I was right. Now, I must figure out how to respond - I'm not going to destroy my pride by saying thanks. Sure, he technically got me and Ryou together, but I should have figured it out sooner, and that pisses me off.

"You made Ryou grope me!"

"I did not grope you!" Ryou hisses. ... well, I suppose he didn't. I nudged him before he got that far. But he still gave me the hand job.

I glare at him. He is unfazed. He's used to my glaring now. He's become immunised. Which means he turns back and looks at what Marik's doing.

He got rid of the blue tinting and played with the lighting. I have to admit, it looks pretty good.

"Ooh, what's that?" Yugi asks, leaning over to see. I hit him on the head because he changed the subject, resulting in a fair amount of pain as Yami his me in response.

"Don't you DARE hit my aibou, Tomb Robber!" Yami yells, seething, before yelping and quickly moving out of the way when Joey dashes through the living room like a scared rabbit.

"He tried to rape me!" he pants.

"He was probably only teasing," Marik responds, in a bored tone. I agree with him. Joey just has a tendency to over-react.

"He was trying to..."

"Joey, shut up," Marik sighs, before wasting yet another perfectly good tissue. "There, Ryou, can't be bothered to play with it anymore, I need food."

"It looks great!" Ryou chirps, happily. "Bakura looks cute!"

"I am NOT CUTE!" I yell. Instant reaction. I regret it when everyone laughs at me. Well, I'm NOT cute. I'm sexy. Big difference. Sexy means sex, cute means hugs and kisses. Ryou manages to be both. I have no idea how, but I don't care.

"Can I do something with this?" Ryou asks. "I have this girl online that keeps harassing me. Thought she'd like to know I'm gay. Well, okay, bi, but she doesn't know that."

Ah, so he's bi. I knew he couldn't be completely gay. He reads yuri. Might ask him if he reads yaoi later. He might have found some inspiring lemons.

I wonder if he writes them? That would be interesting.

Now, my attention must move back to whatever it is Ryou's planning to do with Marik's photo.

"Yeah, sure, I'm going to get some cereal or something," Marik replies, getting up and heading for the kitchen. Which will most likely lead to a make out session with Yarik. He shuts the door behind him. That's a little strange. Oh well.

Ryou sits himself down, and opens up AIM. He sends a message to someone. Stalker thing.

"Hey, Llewellyn."

A pause for a moment.

"so, freind, do you still hate me for no apparant reason?"

"I've told you and told you, I have a good enough reason."

"you still haven't shown me the evidence. You just wanted to get rid of me so you could go out with that other girl."

"I've shown you the evidence! You're just too blind to SEE it!"

"maybe because its non existant?"

"Besides, there wasn't another girl."

"you're lying. I hate it when you lie."

"No, seriously, there was no other girl. Because, quite frankly, I just so happen to be gay. Would you like to see a picture of me and my boyfriend?"

No reply.

I nudge Ryou. "She... he, it knows me. I've been talking to her. Thinks I'm a girl called Hikari Yami."

Ryou looks a bit surprised. I see that when Yugi was conspiring with him he didn't bring this up. Hm... I wonder if the fact I came to Ryou's defence made him think I liked him? Nope, must block this thought, having to thank stalker-thing is not good. It does not deserve a thanks. It deserves to be pushed off a cliff and have seagulls peck at the bloody remains that scatter in a delightful mess on impact with the rocks.

And I shall join them in their feast.

"You told her you were a girl?" he asks.

"No. I told her I wasn't a lesbian."

Ryou groans, and types another message.

"You know him. But from what I gather, you don't know him as a him. Do you know a Hikari Yami?"

"of course, she's one of my closest friends. or was. yet another person who's tossed me into the garbage heap. you mean she's a guy? the amount of dishonest people in the world is truly, truly saddening."

I snort at this. "Dishonest? Hah, and this thing has no gender!"

Another confused expression from Ryou. "Uh...?"

I elaborate. Smirking, of course, since I find this highly amusing. "She, or as I like to call her, IT, has been changing its gender depending on who it's talking to. It's pretending to be a guy with me."

His eyes widen in shock. Growling, he types faster.

"And I hear you've been twisting your gender too."

"why are people spreading these rumors about me? i thought that you would be more inteligent than to beleive these lies, Soda."

Ryou opens up a program which I don't recognise, but is called FTP explorer (what the hell is FTP?) and does something with Marik's saved photo. Then he links to it. Apparently this FTP thing uploads stuff.

"Here's a photo of me and my boyfriend that a friend took this morning."

Another pause.

"he's your brother, isn't he? you're going to your big brother for defence? how pathetic."

"He's not my brother. We just look alike. I also assure you that he is quite sadistic. He would love nothing more than to inflict a world of pain on you."

Very, very true.

Stalker-thing doesn't reply.

"He's also an Ancient Egyptian spirit that's lived in a piece of gold for 5000 years. You know that pendant around my chara's neck? It looks just like that."

Now, what are the chances of stalker-thing believing THAT, I wonder?

"lol. and your saying i lie?"

"Your lies are just about as obvious."

No reply.

"Quite frankly Llewellyn, I don't care anymore. This has gone on far too long."

No reply. Yarik and Marik return, Marik looking like he's just battled against a storm. His hair is everywhere, stuck to his face with either water or sweat. This is suspicious. I should check the kitchen for any bodily fluids. For all I know, Yarik could have sucked him off or something in there.

Ryou carries on typing.

"All I have to say is... I won. I know I'm in the right. All my friends know I'm in the right. Even some complete and total strangers know I'm in the right. And on top of that, I have my boyfriend. I'd say something rather cliché right now, like how he's the best boyfriend ever for helping me defend myself against you, but he'd probably attack me with something sharp and pointy. And tonight, I'm getting laid, so screw you. Get a life beyond the internet, it'll do you a world of good."

And then another block was set up, with Ryou looking very satisfied. He doesn't do anything then, other than bounce in the chair.

"So, can we go fuck now?" Yarik asks, breaking the silence and earning fierce glares from Yami, Joey, and Marik.

"Go shove a carrot up your ass," Marik snaps, angrily.

"But I ate all the carrots!"

"Then use a cucumber."

"I ate that, too!"

Yugi grins at me. I only resist the urge to kill him because I owe him. "Aren't you going to thank me?" he asks.

"I think not killing you is good enough," I reply, lifting Ryou into my arms to annoy him. It works, judging from the glare I get.

"Put me down, Bakura," he growls. I do so. Because he's heavy. Don't let the fact he looks like a bloody stick deceive you.

As Ryou grumbles in annoyance and loads up a fanfiction site, I lean against the wall and plan how my night with Ryou is going to go. Well, he DID say he was getting laid tonight. I don't think it would be FAIR if that turned out to be a false hope.

Besides, it's about time. My mind wanders in anticipation. Hmm... Ryou tied up in ribbons the colour of fresh blood...