Authors Note: I haven't even thought about the SWAT Kats in years, and it's been even longer sense I've seen an episode. Naturally, I've forgotten a lot about their characterizations. Forgive me. Oh yeah, I don't own them or anything else even vaguely recognizable.

Jake crawled sleepily out of the hanger and flopped down onto the couch next to his best bud, Chance.

"Hey buddy," Chance said slapping his smaller friend on the shoulder, "The Turbokat must be purring by now. You've been down there for," he checked his watch, or at least tried to before he realized he wasn't wearing it, "well, a long time. Don't you ever take a break?"

Jake snorted, "Ha! Our beloved plane would go to crap if I didn't spend so much time down there. And then where would the fine kats of Megakat city be? Depending on the Enforcers? That'd be interesting."

Chance laughed loudly, "You know you don't have to do it yourself, I'd help you."

"I know, but aside from moral support I don't know what all you could do. It's a lot of math and computer work. Not exactly your expertise."

Chance cringed, "Oh man, am I glad your looking out for my best interests. It leaves me more time to watch high art such as this," he gestured at Scardy Kat running across the TV screen, "thanks bud."

Jake laughed sleepily, "Don't mention it. What've we got to eat around here?" He pulled himself off the couch and wandered into the kitchen where he found a can of milk and some cold pizza. He glanced at the clock hanging next to a large crack in the wall, 'Jesus,' he thought to himself, '10 pm, I was down there a long time.' He was just going to go back into the living room to watch TV when he heard shouting coming from outside. Great, he thought, just what I need. He put down the food and popped his head in the living room, "Hey Chance, there's something going on outside, I'm going to go check it out."

"Yeah, yeah," Chance said, getting up, "wait up, I'll come." The two of them trotted down the hall and tentatively opened the door.

There they met quite the site, a black she kat was sitting on a black horse, shouting at a tow truck driver who's old truck was pulling an even older truck with an ancient goose neck horse trailer attached to the back of it. The driver was trying to navigate the train around a 90-degree corner and through the narrow gate with high walls on each side to get into the scarp yard.

"Hey hey hey!" the she-kat shouted at the driver, "If that rig gets one more dent on it then it already has I will have your tail!! NO! Now back up!! Watch the bumper!" There was a pause when it looked like the driver would get it all trough safely. "STOP! Watch my rear-view mirror!" she trotted over to the rig and slammed the mirror shut. She backed away from the rig, "Now go! Come on! Move it! NO! Jesus! Get out of the truck! Come on, out!"

She jumped off of the horse and, noticing Jake and Chance for the first time, strode over to them.

She held out her hand and grinned at them, obviously tryig to swallow her anger and act civil. "Hey, my names Chris . My rig broke down a couple of miles out of town, and this genius," she pointed at the tow truck driver who was still trying to get the caravan through the gate, "said that you guys are the best. You better be after all this work I'm going through to get in here. HEY!" she yelled at the driver, "Don't move!! I'll do it!!!" she turned back to the mechanics, "so you guys can fix my rig right? You don't have to tonight obviously, I can sleep in the gooseneck," she referred to the horse trailer, "if you guys don't mind me on your property overnight," she added as an afterthought.

Chance nodded, "Sleeping here is no problem, and I think we can fix your rig."

"Tomorrow," Jake added, "It's been a long day."

"I know how you feel," she paused, "hey can one of you guys please hold onto my horse while I go drive this stuff in? Please?" she held the reins out to them. Jake tentatively stepped forward, "Uh, does he bite?" he asked taking the reins.

"Not if you don't stick you fingers in his mouth. I'll be right back. You guys are my hero's." With this she turned on her heel and strode off towards the tow truck shouting, "Get out of the truck!"

Jake turned to he horse, "Hi," he said moving his hand up to pet the horse. The horse saw this and envisioned a scaly snake trying to bite his nose off and jumped back, snorting and flaring his nostrils.

"Here Chance, maybe you should hold the horse."

Chance backed away, chuckling, "No really buddy, I think your much more suitable for the job."

Jake stood stiffly holding the horse as far away as possible. The horse decided he didn't much like Jake either and stood as far away from the skinny kat as the reins would allow, and hoped that Chris would come back and give him a sugar cube. Or maybe that larger, orange kat would. Forgetting why he was avoiding the skinny kat, the horse brushed past him and over to this big orange tom. The horse stuck his nose in the big kats face and snorted, then worked his was down his arm, sniffing and snorting and working his lips and he tongue so he got slimy green slobber all over Chance.

Chance laughed, "Hey I think he likes me."

Jake laughed, "Better you than me buddy."

The horse started licking the palm of Chances hand, then suddenly took a small bite of one of his fingers.

"Hey! Ow!!" Chance shouted yanking his hand away and spooking the horse who jumped back with his ears pressed against his head.

The horse decided he didn't like either one of the Kats and hoped that Chris would come back and save him from these imbeciles soon. Then the horse decided he was hungry and started looking around for some hay, a scrap of grass, anything. Finding none in the general vicinity he started hunting around, dragging Jake behind him.

"Hey, stop horse! Stop! Cease! Desist! End all movement! Halt!" Jake yelled franticly leaning back against the reins. This didn't stop the horse from dragging Jake along, who had planted his feet and was "dirt skiing" along behind.

"A little help would be appreciated!" he shouted to Chance who was laughing at him.

"Please!" Jake shouted desperately, and Chance decided that it was time to lend his smaller friend a hand. He ran up behind Jake and wrapped his arms around his waist, he took up the same position, "dirt skiing" along behind the horse who still found no reason to stop and in fact started going faster.

Chris looked up from arguing over the bill with the driver to see this sight. She burst out laughing, "Oh my god I have to film this!" she turned and jogged to her truck, grabbed her video camera, and started shooting.

"Smile boys!" she shouted as the horse drug them right by her.

"Hey! No fair making fun of those in unfortunate positions!" Chance shouted when he saw her. This only made her laugh harder. She clicked at the horse, "Faster!" she shouted. The horse broke into a canter.

"Uh oh," Jake yelled to Chance.

"Uh-oh!" Chance shouted, "Uh-oh is NOT something I want to hear. What's the problem?"

"Rock!" Jake shouted, it was only a foot away, he tried jumping over it but Chance held him down, not seeing the rock. Chance hit his foot on it, and fell down head over heels, taking Jake with him. The reins were ripped out of Jakes hands as he went face first into the dirt. The two mechanics landed in a heap with Chance on top.

Chris ran over to them still wielding her camera. "Are you guys ok?" she asked, trying not to laugh. "You have to tell me how bad you're hurt so I can decide if I'm going to send this tape to Megakats Funniest Videos, or Real T.V.. I hope your not hurt too bad because Megakats Funniest Videos gives cash prizes and that defiantly wins first place!" Again she started laughing uncontrollably.

"I'm glad I have your sympathy," Chance said grumpily.

"Can't.Breathe." Jake gasped, ""

Chris offered her hand to Chance, still laughing a little she said, "Come on, you better give your friend some air."

Chance reluctantly took her hand and she easily yanked him up off of Jake, who inhaled sharply. "Thanks," he gasped. She offered him her hand, "Want up?"

"No thanks, I think I'll lie here and contemplate the meaning of life," he said closing his eyes and trying to catch his breath. Chris laughed some more.

The horse wondered why nobody was paying attention to him and trotted over to the trio. He noticed the skinny kat on the ground and wondered if he was dead, he stuck his nose in Jake's face and inhaled sharply, smelling him. Jake's eyes shoot open, "Ok, I'm ready to get up now." Chris chuckled and again offered him a hand, which Jake took.

"I'm sorry you guys," she figured she should apologize, "I forget sometimes that not everybody is a horse person. And my horse usually had better manners." She took up the reins, "Key word being usually I guess. Sorry," she said again.

Jake could tell that Chance was about to snap something mean at her so he put a hand on his friends shoulder stopping him, "We forgive you as long as you share the prize money," he said light-heartedly, he really didn't feel like dealing with Chances temper right now.

She laughed, "Thank god, after I saw you wipe out I was a little afraid you might sue me. That's they way some kats are these days," she mimicked a sue happy kat, "Oh my god! I spilt hot coffee on me! I have to sue KatDonnalds!" She spoke normally again, "It's ridicules."

Still sensing apprehension in Chance, Jake spoke before he could mouth off at Chris, "I know what you mean, it's pretty dumb."

They started walking back over to the tow truck driver, who was just unhitching Chris' truck off of his. Chris paid him, and he drove off, muttering something about not getting a tip.

"Listen," Chance finally spoke up, Jake inwardly cringed, here it comes, "You don't really want to sleep in your trailer do you? It might be more comfortable if you took the couch."

Jake looked at Chance in surprise but didn't say anything.

Chris shook her head, "Nah, I'm perfectly happy out here, I've got an air mattresses, and I'll be out of your fur, really, I think I'd rather sleep out here."

"No, I don't think that's such a good idea," Chance persisted, "It gets cold, and the weather report said rain."

"Really I can handle it."

"Alright then at lease come inside for now ok?"

"Thanks but I have to take care of my horse. Then I'll go to bed."

"Let us help," Chance offered.

"What?!" Jake said in surprise, "Look bud, I don't know about you but I'm tired," as an afterthought he added, "No offence or anything Chris."

She shook her head, "None taken."

"Fine then let me help," Chance continued.

Chris shook her head, "Yeah ok, whatever, but there's not that much you can do. Here, start by holding him," she offered the horses reins to him with a big grin spread across her face.

Chance stepped back, "What can I do besides that?"

Chris laughed, "In the front tack room in the trailer there's some pipe panels, could you set them up and make a little coral for my horse? Make the side of the trailer one of the walls, ok? Can you handle that?"

"Yeah I think I can do that," he said pulling open the door, and yanking the first panel out.

"I'm going to go inside," Jake said, thinking about his dinner. "See ya," and he strode off towards the house.

"So, what's your horses name?" Chance asked, making conversation.

"Horse," she said as she pulled the saddle off his back.



"Just horse?"

"Uh-huh. Well actually it's Dar, but i call him horse."

"Dar? Does that mean something?"

"Um.." she paused then laughed a little, "Dumb Ass Retard."

Chance paused putting the coral together and gave her a look.

"I told my nephiew he could name the horse, and he named him Dar because it was some wired inside joke he had with somebody. I never really liked the name. So i call him Horse."

"Right..." Chance said, turning back to the corral.


" she's sleeping in her trailer?" Jake asked once Chance came back in. Their bedrooms were adjacent and if they talked loud enough they could have a conversation through the thin wall. As they talked Jake flipped through the latest issue of Scientific Megakateain.

"Yeah, she's got an air matriss in the the gooseneck. I just hope we don't get a call tonite, she say's she's a sound sleeper but i think a jet blasting over her head would wake her up."

"Oh, so that's why you wanted her to sleep in the house so bad." They had soundproofed the house and garage a couple of years ago, "good thinking," he added.

"She said she'd be out of our hair and into a hotel by tomorow."

"You really talked it up with her didn't you," Jake teased.

"Hey you know me, always the ladys man," Chance could hear Jake laughing through the wall.

"Did you find out what's she's doing in Megakat city?"

"She's a bounty hunter, passing through looking for somebody or another."

"A bounty hunter? Wow, that's pretty intense. She dragges that horse around with her?"

"Yeah, apparently it's how she get's around when she's doing her thing. Apparently Horse is trained to the teeth. She's got a motorcycle too, a really nice one."

"Wait a second, Horse? Is that his name? That thing is trained?"

"The name is kind of a long story. And yeah, that thing is apparently very well trained."

"Yeah well tell that to the horse. How's your foot?"

Chance rubbed his foot, wincing slightly, "Fine. Don't worry about it."

"Do you think the Turbokat needs a camera?"

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing really, but do you think the Turbokat needs a camera? There's a cool one in my magazene"

"What kind of camera?"

"Uh," Jake squinted at the tiny print under the picture in the Scientific Megakateain, "a digital Micon 3050rs Transhot Ultra with zoom lens, glare reductiors, and 1000 hours of battery life."

"How much does it cost?"

"A lot.. They haven't realeased it in Megakat yet. It's only avalable in gapan."

"Remind me why we need this?"

"I dunno, but it seems like whenever I install something it becomes incredibly useful and we wonder how we ever got along with out it. I can throw one together at a quarter of the cost too."

"Whatever, you could instal a washing maciene in that thing and i probably wouldn't notice so we might as well have a camera," Chance yawned, "Can we talk about this in the moring? I need to get some sleep."

"Yeah, i'm falling asleep with my eyes open."

"And your brain working on areodynamics on missles i'm sure," Chance mumbled as he dozed off.