A/N-Hey.Happy Holidays to all my readers..here is my gift to you. I've had a real bad case of writers block. Forgive me for this chapter sucking. Well here it is. (Oh yeah.I know Jess hates Matchbox 20.and I love alternative rock and such music too and even thought Matchbox isn't rock anymore (, I just can't seem to drop my Matchbox 20 addiction from way back.lol so forgive me for altering character traits.) I'm sorry I took so long! Life tends to be that way..yeah so if this chapter sucks and you don't like it, I understand completely! This is a combination of the two chapters I wrote, I hope you like it..please review because im a little disappointed in this chapter, and I need to know what you think! Thank you all.-Suzie

Luke's words chilled her to the bone, it was too much. Why her, why now? She ran, dropping the phone at her feet she took off running. The tears ran down her face, as she ran through the cold wind. She ran up the stairs to the loft, out of breath she took her key out of the pocket, her hands shook she dropped the keys. She threw her shaking hands her tear stained face. She sniffled, as a tear fell to the floor. She bent down, grabbing the keys. After two more tries she got the door open. She ran to his room, ignoring the growing dog crying at her feet. She fell onto his bed, wrapping herself in the black bed spread. Her body was uncontrollable, as she screamed and cried for hours, until she had nothing left. She felt so cold, then her skin felt like it was crawling. She tore her cloths off, lying there in her bra and underwear surrounded by black silk sheets, and the cold bed spread. She screamed with tears at the rush of emotions that were too much for her to take, no longer was Stars Hollow far away, it was right there to close for her to take.

For the first time in years she had been happy, but at this moment she felt that burning desire for the road again. She had thought she was far enough away, but she realized she wasn't. She had noting to leave behind, is what her mind told her but her legs just won't do it.

He didn't love her, he hadn't said it. How could he, was it even possible to love a person like her? She was so fucked up, she was so imperfect, and she had nothing a man should desire. But, he had given her so much, she had stayed a month. A month, that felt like forever. Perhaps it was forever, however something held her back from leaving. Maybe it was her tired legs, or maybe it was something more. Her heart, a month had been forever for her heart, and maybe that forever wasn't over. She had been happy, now life was shit once again.

She could blame her parents, but blaming herself just came natural. She had left, she had done this to her mother, and she left her there, alone with him. It was her fault, she should have protected her mother, but she had thought of herself. This was all her fault. There was no reason to go back, but she still felt to close, all too close. The pain rushed through her, the guilt is what killed her the most.

He didn't love her, why would he? She cried, trying to find a reason to leave. No one loved her. She had no home, no family, no one to love her. The pillows surrounded her, soaked by her salted tears, of shame, guilt, and hate. No one loved her. Now she had almost convinced mind of, but her heart burned of love and that couldn't be changed. Her heart knew deep down, and held her back despite what her mind had come to the conclusion of. She screamed and cried, until her eyes burned with dryness, and she couldn't breath anymore. She hated the world and her stupid heart.

He slipped his hand into his pocket, the velvet box was still there. He walked home in the darkness of the city. The street lights gave off some light, but the moon gave off the most. He sighed, letting out his fears. He had got the ring two days ago, the silver antique ring was perfect for her slender finger. Tom had busted his balls for the last two days about it, but he didn't care. He wanted the timing to be perfect. He knew he was crazy to fall for a girl he knew nothing about, he knew the basics but not all of her. Maybe he was crazy. He had been stressed out lately, between fears of her not wanting him, and the fear of her leaving. He didn't want her to leave, he needed her. She was like a quick fix, that hit of her would make him complete, but as time went on, he needed more hits of her she was beautiful, powerful drug, unlike any other. He had waited a week now, tonight was the end of his wait. He wanted her, he could taste her, for the last week she had drove him crazy, he wanted her. She was perfect, everything he could ever dream of. She was sexy in her own little way, she was so innocent and shy it drove him wild. The way her wavy hair fell, hanging all the way down her back. Her eyes, so blue and full of innocence, the way they glowed in the dark, when he stared into then was indescribable. He had tried to tell her so many times, while looking into those eyes, but he choked on the words, scared like a young child. He had never meant it before, and this time he was gonna mean it, he wanted her to feel it. He had told women he loved them in order to get them to the bed, but she was different. She had given him her innocence, he had held her, and he listened to her breath and the pitter patter of her heart beat. Most women he had slept with, walked away or smoked after sex, but she let him hold her, listen to her, and fall in love with her. He had never had this, he had never wanted this, but now that he had it he didn't want to lose it and if that meant marriage then marriage it is.

The feelings he when he was with her they were indescribable. He wanted to show her, want she did to him, how he felt inside of her, and how he loved her. The warm touch of her body against his, after they had made love, the way she'd sigh and smile after he kissed her, the way she moaned his name softly into the dark night as she held him inside of her. All the feelings that would flow through him, reminded him that he was alive, she had brought him to life and he never wanted to die again. She was the best out of every girl he had ever been with, her touch was like fire, and to have her in his arms was perfect. All his thoughts surrounded her, where she was, what she was doing, these all became his common thoughts. His mind would often drift, thoughts of her touching him, kissing him, thoughts of her were taking over, and he loved every minute of it.

He walked up the stairs, going to open the door with his key. It was unlocked, he walked in and kicked off his shoes. He looked around the dark room for her, she was no where. He could hear muffled cries, he looked towards their bedroom door. Slowly, he walked toward the door. She was crying. He opened the door, there she was curled up on the bed wearing only her bra and underwear, lost in her tears. He went to comfort her, "Rory, what happened?" he asked.

She pushed him away, "Get away!" she screamed over and over. "I hate you! You don't even love me! How could you?" she yelled over and over as he tried to come close to her. "How could you?" she cried out, again.

He tried pulling her into his arms, she beat on his chest pushing him away. "Rory, I-," she cut him off, beating him away. Her words tore him in two, he pulled away in frustration after several attempts to try to hold her. "If I fucking hate you so much, why fuck did I buy a ring?" he yelled at her, throwing the ring against the wall and storming out of the room. He slammed the door shut, "Fuck!" he yelled punching the wall, any other girl he could of walked away..any other girl, but that was the exact opposite of what she was to him.

The tears ran down her face, as she watched the little silver ring hit the floor. She had never seen him mad, she jumped as she heard him yell outside the door. She walked over to the spot where the ring hit, falling onto her knees she dropped her head into her hands.

He opened the door slowly, walking over to her small body rocking itself for comfort that obviously wasn't working. He knelt down next to her, pulling her shaking body into his arms. "Rory, Baby I love you," he whispered into her ear kissing her neck. "I'm so sorry Baby," All she did was cry. "Baby, come on what happened. I love you," he pleaded but it was no use. He rocked her crying body in his, telling her he loved her, but she just kept crying.

She cried out pulling on his shirt. He had never given her a pet name, like Baby. Why was this so hard? She had wanted him to say he loved her in some sweet way, not like this. Not while she's having a break down, this wasn't supposed to happen, she had been happy. She had been happy. She cried herself to sleep, lying in his arms. Those arms that had once comforted her, but now they just weren't working and she desperately wanted them to. But they couldn't not this time.

He woke up, lying with her almost nude body on the floor. Her face stained and red placed against his shoulder. Her words still hurt, why would she say that? What had happened to her, he wanted to know, he wanted to kill who ever had made her cry. Could it have been him? What had he done, he hadn't done anything, not to her. He kissed her shoulder, watching as she stirred without noise.

She woke up, in his firm arms. Her body had still felt cold, she felt cold not on the outside but the inside. What she had said last night, and how alone she felt made her even colder. She needed time, time to think, and time to understand. She looked up at him, not able to say a word.

He stared at her face, which held no expression. Her lips strait, her face cold and red. He studied her eyes, they held her sorrows, all of her sorrows. He pulled her close, "Its ok, we'll be fine," he whispered, pulling her closer. She just hung limply I his arms silently.

He started to get up, pulling her up with him, he took her hand leading her towards the kitchen. He grabbed a bowl, spoon, milk, cereal, orange juice, and her bottle of pills. He sat down across from her practically nude silent body. He looked up at her, "Are you hungry?" he asked softly.

She just looked down, nodding slowly. She hadn't eaten since yesterday morning, and her stomach burned in hunger. She was too tired, to talk, too guilty to face him, to sorry to explain herself. So she sat there in silence.

He opened up the bottle on pills placing a pill on the table he slid it towards her, then filled up the glass of orange juice, passing it to her.

She popped the pill into her mouth and took a gulp of the bitter cold juice. She had started taking birth control two weeks ago when they had gotten home from his mothers. He had asked if she was on it, when she answered no, he asked if she wanted to. She remembered the way his hands lingered on her body as he asked her, she could still feel his warm mouth on her neck. She looked over at him, the sides of his mouth curved slightly, she looked down again.

He fixed the bowl of cereal. He dipped the spoon in, carefully draining the milk off, he moved the spoon towards her, he watched as she took it in her mouth, chewed it and swallowed. He gently removed the spoon dipping it for himself and then again for her.

He had fed her, softly almost like she was a child. He wasn't the slightest bit rough, he was gentle and calm. No one had ever fed her, this was all new. At that moment she needed him, not only to feed her, but right now she couldn't do it herself, it just wasn't there.

He looked at her red face, and cold bare body. He got up, reaching for her hand. She didn't pull away. Her face was still as he walked her to the bathroom, he shut the door behind them. He quickly pulled off his shirt and pants. He turned on the shower, and turned towards her. He moved in on her, kissing her shoulder sweetly. "Rory, Baby are you ok?" he asked gently, as he nuzzled her neck while unclasping her bra. Quickly he wrapped an arm around her, covering her cold now bare skin.

She felt his arm cover her chest. She didn't move or say anything. She stood there as he undressed her, and the rest of himself. Hand in hand she followed him into the cascade of water. She stood there, she had never seen him. Well she had seen most of him, just not all at once. She watched as he lathered the bar of soap in his hands. Then me moved his hand along his chest. She watched as the soap ran down his body, lower and lower down his smooth, framed chest. She swallowed as she watched the soap run down further.A line of hair ran from his navel down, she looked at his dimensions, it wasn't exactly what she expected, but then again she didn't know what to expect. Sure she had seen them in books but, this was his flesh. Her eyes ran back up his body, the to his face. She watched as he scrubbed his hair, and then rinsed it. She felt him move behind her, pulling her into the water with him. She felt his soft, smooth hands run up and down her arms. The feeling that he could give her was like nothing else, as his warm arms surrounded her, she breath out, still unable to say a word.

He held her close as the water ran down their close bodies, she was still, and he exhaled then reached for the shampoo. Pouring it into his palm, he gently massaged into her scalp, then watched as all the soap ran off of her long hair. He slid his hand down her body, lining it with soap. The soft fresh smell of the soap filled the shower, as the warm water rushed over their bodies

A few minutes later, he turned off the shower. Opening the shower door, walking out. He soon returned, with a towel around his waist. Taking her hand he gently pulled her towards him, wrapping her in a towel swiftly.

His hands were swift and efficient. For the last month, he had proved that in so many ways. She closed her eyes as he led her out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. His hand rested on her hip lightly gliding with her. She could still feel it all, despite the silence. She could still feel the way his hands would roam her body, those feelings, and those long, warm feelings that ran under her skin. She wanted to cry, she wanted to tell him, tell him it all, about her parents, about herself, but she couldn't and it hurt more not being able to.

He sat her down on the bed as he went to his closet. A few seconds later, he returned with a handful of cloths. She watched shyly as he put on his boxers. His body was perfect, the way if it felt on top of her still made her burn with desire, the noises he would make, those grunts of passion and those small noises of his surrender. She watched as he dressed himself.

He moved towards her. Setting the cloths beside her on the bed, he knelt down in front of her. He pushed the towel off of her knee, kissing it softly as his hands ran up her legs, "Come on Rory, talk to me," he breathed into her knee. He got no response, he sighed.

He reached over grabbing her underwear he had picked out. The light pink thong with purple stripes, yes those were his favorite. He hated those girly colors but the way they looked on her, they were perfect. He slide them over her feet, his warm hands ran up her legs. He could feel her legs tighten, as he approached her center, he gently continued his path up the back of her thighs pushing her up onto her feet so she stood in front of him. He placed the underwear lightly on her hips, then leaned his head forward resting it on her stomach. "Why aren't you talking Rory?" he asked almost silently into her stomach.

She didn't want to talk yet, she still needed time. She could feel him breathing against her skin, she swallowed.

He pulled away, grabbing the pair of her tight boot cut jeans. Holding on to her legs so she wouldn't fall over. He slides the pants over her feet, and up her legs. It was a bit complicated at first, he had never dressed anyone. He undid the towel and watched it fall to the floor. She just stood there, he stood up, pulling the jeans onto her hips. He carefully studied them, he pushed them a little lower then fixed the pockets. He looked at her uncovered chest, he looked at her face and smiled softly at her. He looked away grabbing her pink bra. He looked at it, then took her arm, then her other arm. He moved behind her, pulling the pink lace the rest of the way up so it covered her. He observed the clasp, it was a lot easier to take off of her, then it was to put on her. He spun her around, so she faced him. He pulled her shirt off of the bed. Of all things the shirt was the easiest to put on. He kissed her lips, hoping she'd kiss back. But her lips stayed straight. He looked at her and exhaled, then looked at the floor where they had woken up. The silver ring still sat there, he pulled away from her walking to the spot on the floor. He picked up the ring and studied it, remembering the previous night. He walked back to her, taking her hand he slipped the ring on her finger. His lips curved slightly when he looked at her face. "I love you," he whispered pulling her close.

She just stood limply in his arms. She could feel his heart, pounding in his chest she wanted to calm him, but she couldn't find the air, or the power.

About twenty minutes later, he held her hand as he led her down the street. His hand held hers tightly, making sure she stayed with him. He didn't want to lose her, he wanted her by his side. Wanted her to himself, for the world to see that she was his, and no one else's, he wanted her to talk, to whisper to moan his name like she used to. He wanted to give her the world. Yes, he was crazy. It had only been a month with her. A month like nothing else before. Yes, he was addicted. Yes, he was in love. A crazy, addicted boy in love. He cursed himself. He had always been a hard boy, complicated at birth something he got from his long lost father. Good looking, as he was told easy on the eyes but often hard on the heart. Cold, towards everyone but, that night when he saw her on the street something happened. He wanted to help her, take her in, and love her. She had this thing about her, the way her eyes glowed in the dark, as scared as she looked her eyes held this courage. Courage, that no one person should have. She had no fear of anything because she had been through it all, just like him. In an eye contact he had related to her, he had wanted her. He squeezed her hand a little, making sure she was still with him.

He sighed as he looked over into the office to see her sitting on the sofa with their dog. He looked back down at the machine. He rubbed his temple. Tom came up to him a few minutes later.

Tom looked at the small girl holding the dog which was growing quickly. "What's going on with you two?" Tom asked flicking his chin towards her.

Jess shook his head. "She won't talk to me." He said flatly.

Tom cocked his eye brow. "What did you do? I told you not to get that ring." He said in an 'I told you so' tone.

Jess looked at him, "When I got home, she was crying and she pushed me away. So I got pissed, and I threw the ring at her she hasn't said a word since." He sighed looking away.

Tom grinned, "Man, you have the worst taste in women." He said with a laugh.

Jess glared at him. "Well at least I don't pay little rag dolls to fuck me!" he stated harshly.

Tom looked at him, "What in the hell is wrong with you?" he asked raising his voice. "I'm not the one with fucked up girl friend!"

"You piece of shit son of a bitch!" Jess yelled, pushing Tom.

"What it's the truth!" Tom yelled pushing Jess back. "Look at her, at least the girls I get off the street go back to them!" he said pointing at her.

"You mother fucker! Take it back!" and when Tom refused to take it back, Jess punched him.

Rory turned her head, to see Jess and Tom beating the shit out of each other. Rory got up, running into the other room. She pushed the two apart. She looked at Jess taking his hand she pulled him away with her.

Jess grabbed his coat and hers, and put the dog on her leash. He took Rory's hand and walked out, silently.

He walked into the door of his loft. His jaw hurt, he touched it and winced at the pain. He looked at her, reaching for her face. She looked down as he touched her cheek.

She looked up at him, he smiled lightly despite the blood and bruises lining his face. She studied him, then reached for his face. His jaw was still smooth, his face was cold. She took his hand, and pulled him towards the bathroom.

He sat down on the toilet, sighing in relief even though she still hadn't talked. He watched as she looked in the cabinet, then placed what she need on the counter.

She looked at him taking the cotton ball with alcohol and pressing it on the cuts above his eyebrow. She touched his cheek as he jerked back from the sting.

He stared at her. She was so perfect, so soft. "I love you," he whispered. Her face was still straight, but her touch was so tender.

She pulled away, looking at his face. He didn't look so good, she put everything away then walked out of the bathroom.

He followed her, "Where ya going?" he asked quickly following her.

She opened the freezer door, grabbing a bag of frozen strawberries. She handed them to him.

He took it and placed it on his jaw. He reached for her, grabbing her pant pocket he pulled her towards him. "Come here," he muttered, kissing her.

She kissed him back lightly, but never said a word. She stared up at him.

That night, Jess held her close to him. He could feel her tremble in her sleep, he closed his eyes, wishing it would all go away, that she would talk again. He sighed, and it was all the same. The next morning, she didn't say a word or move an inch.

The week passed slowly, perhaps one of the longest weeks of his life. He wanted to cry, he had tried so hard to be strong for her, but he was losing it. He wanted her to talk, he would kill for her to say she loved him. At night, while she was asleep, he'd listen to her breath, he'd watch her chest rise and fall, and he'd dream of her voice. He'd sigh, and kiss her softly, and watch as she stirs silently. He missed her, his longing for her, how he needed her, and how he wanted her to speak again all so indescribable and unreal.

As a young girl she always wanted the man on the white horse. With the perfect teeth, smile, language, to come riding up to her and save her. That was Jess, lacking the horse, and all the sappy romance shit, she wanted. No one could ever touch her like he did, and she didn't want to lose him, not now, not ever. He had taken care of her for the last two weeks no one had ever made her feel that loved.

She had gone to the city to get away. Stars Hollow would always be part of her. No distance will ever change that, in fact she wasn't sure if she wanted to change that. Her past had made her stronger, it had brought her here, it had brought her Jess and she never wanted to change that. Now all she needed to do was find the right words, this was hard. She could see the hurt in his eyes, and she wanted so badly to stop that hurt. She wanted to feel him, inside and outside. She needed to feel him, her longing could no longer be contained.

They had been watching TV for about an hour, but he hadn't paid a bit of attention to it. He missed her, a week ago was the last time she kissed or touched him. He looked over at her, he had held strong for a week now. It was over he couldn't take it anymore, this was the line he needed her, he wanted that touch, and hear those words. Her word. He looked over at her, reaching for her he pulled her towards him. He moved her so she was straddling him. He ran his hands along her jaw down her neck. He leaned forward kissing her neck, he laid his cheek on her shoulder. "Rory Baby, why won't you talk to me?" he asked softly. "I miss you, just please say something, anything." He whispered, he was losing it, he couldn't do this anymore. "I love you," he pleaded.

She exhaled as she heard is soft child like words, she could feel his arms surrounding her, she could feel his warm touch working its way inside again, she could feel it all.

Later that night, in their cold dark bed room, Rory lye awake, unable to sleep. She looked at him, licking her bottom lip. "Jess, I lied to you," she whispered, almost silently.

His eyes shot open, he smiled lying there listening to her words. He closed his eyes, praying she'd keep going.

She swallowed trying to find the words, "When I told you I hated you, I lied." She cried softly like a child, "My whole life is a lie," her eyes glossed over, "I never meant to hurt you," she pleaded. "I never meant to hurt us, I'm so sorry," her whispers flowed through into the dark night air.

He pulled away, looking up at her, he reached out pulling her close to him, "Rory its ok, what ever you did, I don't care," he pulled her tightly against him, "Rory, why wouldn't you talk to me? You have driven me crazy," he said kissing her forehead.

She looked up at him, she whispered, "I left her with him, that drunk."

He held her, still not sure as to why she wouldn't talk to him, "Its ok," he rocked her in his arms. "I'm so sorry," he moaned into her hair, "I missed you so much, please say you love me," he pleaded like a young love sick boy.

"I wanna marry you," she moaned into his chest, "I love you so much,"

He smiled, pulling away from her, to kiss her. "I love you so much, you'll never know how much, I wanna show you how you make me feel, but its to hard, all I can give you is my heart," he said as he broke the kiss, trying to get some air.

She lifted her red face and smiled nodding. "I wanna be with you forever." Her bottom lip shivered.

He kissed her, pushing her down on the bed. "I love you so much, don't ever do that to me again." He said as he broking the kiss.

She nodded, as she lunged at him kissing him again. She wanted to feel good again, feel sexy, and he had that key to take it all away. She pulled off his shirt and kissed down his chest. "I'm sick of crying, make me feel alive again," she moaned.

He pushed her onto her back, reaching for the rim of her shirt. He pulled the shirt up over her head, her bare chest was exposed to him. He smiled at her, as her leaned over her, nipping on her bottom lip.

She wrapped her arms around her neck, deepening the kiss. She could feel his hands roaming her, then settling on her hips, pushing down the garments. She smiled, she had almost forgotten how good this felt. Almost.

He broke the kiss, leaving her completely naked on the bed. He looked at her, she was beautiful in nothing absolutely nothing. He moved over her again, kissing down her neck. He could feel her pulse pounding.

She moved her hands down his back, over his hips. She tugged at his boxers franticly, he pulled the rest them off. Framing his face with her hands, she kissed him. Deeply, unlike any of their other kisses, this was different this was perfect. She could feel him, in her blood, he was there flowing in her system she could feel his burning skin against her, every muscle pushing for more, she wanted more. She rolled over on top of him, grinding her hips into his, she watched as he groaned in pleasure loving what she could do to him. Moaning his name she, felt him flip her over onto her back pressing her to the bed. Her fingers entwined with the sheets as he pushed into her. She had never felt so good. He had never been rough, but as he pushed her fiercely into the bed and as her orgasm rushed through her, it was obvious that he was taking out all the pain she had caused him in the last week. It didn't hurt however, his presence in her only brought more pleasure to their sins. She screamed out his name as she reached her peak.

The next morning she woke up, his warm forehead placed against hers. She could feel the pain in her legs from the pleasurable night before. She smiled lightly, kissing his lips. He stirred, pulling her closer. She kissed him again, this time he kissed her back.

"Good I wasn't dreaming," he whispered opening his eyes. Her hair was knotty and all over, just the way he liked it. Her skin was smooth and milky, like a goddess. She was wrapped upped in a blankets, her eyes tired and deep seeming to go on forever.

She reached touching his cut on his forehead, that seemed to be healing well. She looked at his eyes, so warm and dark. "Jess," she said softly, watching his eyes light up at the saying of his name.

"Hmm," he moaned sweetly, entwining his fingers with her small ones. He couldn't hold the question back anymore, "Rory, why didn't you talk to me?" he asked still not sure why she wouldn't talk to him.

She glanced down. "I just, I needed time." She said looking back at him. "My parents, the died. I thought I wanted to leave here, I thought I didn't need you." She looked away and stared straight ahead, "My dad, he was drunk, and they were in the car together," she said lost in her own thoughts. "My mom was so perfect, why did this happen?" she asked trying to hold back the tears.

"Rory I'm sorry," he said in comfort as he held her tightly, "Its ok, to move on," He felt her nod into his chest. He kissed her hair not knowing what else to do. "I don't know what I'd do with out you," he whispered softly trying his best to soothe her.

-:- so what do you think-:-
Review! Please!
Thank you my readers!
Its 11 o'clock at night- so I'm sorry if there are a lot of errors!
Forgive me.