Title: Drake's Crazy Day

Author: Kameko-chan

Pairings: Drake/JJ, Ryo/Dee

Notes: Er… accurate(ish) to the third volume. I got inspired... it's odd. Very, very odd. But it was fun to write.


"And then that little whore walks in, and Dee just totally ignores me to drool over the little slut! Can you believe it?" JJ slurped back his coffee angrily (what the coffee had done wrong, I don't know). "I almost had him that time, but one glance at Ryo and all my hard work went down the drain."

"Mmhm," I said absently, sifting through the paperwork form our last case that still needed to be completed. I had grown accustomed to JJ's constant chatter since he'd been assigned as my partner. 'Dee doesn't love me; Ryo is a skanky whore; blah, blah, blah'. I tuned him out, mostly; I thought Ryo was a pretty nice guy, and I didn't like to hear my purple-haired partner trash talk him all the time. Occasionally I gave him advice on how to snag Dee to get him off my back, but the advice was always pure shit. Dee and Ryo were practically made for each other--I knew it, the chief, even that Bikky kid knew it (though he hated to admit it). The only person who didn't seem to realize it was poor, deluded JJ.

"Drake, you're not even listening to me!!!"

I lost my balance at the sudden outburst and nearly fell off my chair. "I was too listening!" I protested, straightening myself out and tapping the incomplete paperwork back into a neat pile.

"Uh-huh." JJ's blue eyes regarded me skeptically. "Then how come you didn't comment when I asked if you felt like a quickie in the men's room before quitting time?"

Damn. JJ was cleverer than he seemed. "I don't know why you even bother with Dee," I said quickly, trying to put the conversation back on track. "I've been working with him for years; he's arrogant, rash, headstrong, and a dumbass." I recalled the night he'd gone after Lloyd. Yep, complete dumbass. "Why don't you just give up on Dee?" I hazarded a glance at Jemmy. "He doesn't seem very interested, and I'm sure there's plently of guys out there who're a hundred times better than him."

JJ just shook his head vigorously from side to side. "You don't understand, Drake," he said, turning his gaze to the window as he always did when was thinking about a certain someone. Then came the dreamy look in his eyes, the half grin, and his fingers came up to play with the lock of hair by his left ear that was longer than the rest--yep, he was going into Dee-is-so-great mode.

And I had WAY too much free time if I'd memorized the whole routine.

JJ started droning on about Dee again, and I once again proceeded to tune him out. I'd heard it a million times before, I didn't care to hear once more how Dee's eyes were the perfect shade of brown or how no other guy could ever compare to his precious Dee. Why oh why did I get him started on his favorite subject?

"I'm going to get some more coffee," I said finally, desperate to get away from JJ's tirade.

"Oooo, get me one too?" Sure, NOW I deactivate Dee-is-so-great mode. "One cream and two sugars!" His patented grin was plastered across his face. "Thanks, Drake!"

I rolled my eyes and left my desk, headed for the dingy little room we kept the coffee machine in. Olive carpet and faded brown walls, just like the rest of the building. I doubt it's been redecorated since it was built. I'd reached the coffee room and was just about to open the door when I heard a couple of familiar voices.

Fuck. Not here, not now! This SO wasn't my day.

"Dee! Not here, not now!"

Well, at least Ryo was thinking along the same lines I was.

"Come on, no one will see..."

"You horny bastard! We're off duty in half an hour, can't you wait?!"


Well, this was an awkward situation. On the one hand, I could turn around, walk back down the hallway, and pretend I'd heard nothing. On the other hand, if I returned without coffee, JJ would want to know why, and I can't lie worth shit. I didn't need him in Ryo-is-a-skanky-whore mode, thanks. Beside, I really did want some coffee. I fucking hate the third shift...

"Whoops," I said quietly as I let JJ's mug fall to the ground. Good think it was plastic.

"DAMN!" I exclaimed, exaggerating so that the two inside could hear me. "Stupid cup, I swear to God it hates me. Why can't JJ get off his ass every once in awhile and get the coffee instead?" I heard the telltale scuffling letting me know that the pair inside had heard me and were making themselves presentable. Trying to keep from grinning, I pushed open the door to the coffee room. Dee and Ryo stood on opposite sides of the room; Ryo's hair was in disarray and only half his shirt buttons were done up, while Dee was glaring daggers at me and sporting a rather obvious hard-on. Serves him right for trying to defile the coffee room.

Good thing we use coffee mate, because I don't think I could have put cream in JJ's coffee without giggling like a madman. I managed an innocent smile in Ryo's direction. "How's it going, Ryo?" I asked cheerfully, completely ignoring the venomous looks thrown my way by Dee. "Finish that case you were working on?"

"We've got some leads," Ryo replied, trying to button his shirt without drawing my attention. "We should be able to wrap it up in the next day or two." He ran his fingers through his hair in a feeble attempt to straighten it. "And how are you? Sarah doing well?"

My body went tense at the mention of her name, the knuckles of the hand gripping my coffee cup going white. "Actually," my voice had gone unusually soft, "we broke up a couple of weeks ago."

Ryo's eyes went wide. "Oh God, Drake, I'm sorry, I didn't know. What happened?"

My mind went back to two weeks prior.


I looked in the mirror. Hair combed? Check. Shaved? Check. Breath test--I breathed into my hand--pass. I was ready for my date with Sarah.

"You are a FOX," I said to my reflection, giving myself a cheeky wink and a thumbs up. "Time to go pick up--"


My face fell. Why the hell was someone calling NOW? The cordless was in the bathroom with me, so I snatched it from the fake marble countertop and glanced at the call display.

Adams, Jemmy J.

Fuuuuuuck, JJ, not NOW. I sighed and answered. "Drake here."

"Drake," JJ sounded like he'd been crying. "It's me. I know it's your day off and you're probably busy with Sarah, but..." his voice became choked with tears, "I was wondering if you could come over for awhile tonight? It's just..." his voice cracked again, "I'm just feeling really down tonight."

I cursed mentally. "It's okay, JJ, I'll be right over."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah," I said, taking one final look at the tickets to Swan Lake before tossing them into the trash. "No problem."

Oh well. I'd never liked the ballet anyways.


"She thought I was spending too much time at work," I finally replied, thinking an evasive answer would be best.

"You mean she thought you were spending too much time playing nursemaid to JJ, right?" Dee had somehow managed to sneak up behind me, nearly making me drop my hard-earned coffee. "I'd have to agree with her," he continued, snaking an arm around Ryo, who batted it away. "He just wants attention, you know."

It was my turn to glare. What the hell did he know? He hadn't had to sit there with JJ while he cried his eyes out because his affections weren't returned, now had he? "Well, it's over and done with," I said curtly, taking the two mugs of comforting caffeinated liquid. "See you guys later." I headed for the door. When I'd crossed the threshold, I paused and looked back. "And Dee? Next time you're going to ravage Ryo, do it somewhere more private, please?" I winked. "I'm sure the commissioner wouldn't have let you off so easily."

Smirking, I headed back to my desk, leaving a bright red Ryo and a murderous Dee behind. Damn, that felt nice.

JJ was sitting at his desk, finishing up the paperwork, finally. I plunked down his plastic mug (I [heart] LAPD) beside him, and then placed my own cup on my desk before collapsing into my rickety old office chair. I leaned back and shut my eyes.

When was this horrible day going to be over?

"Drake, you okay?"

I opened my eyes again to find JJ's face hovering inches from my own. What was I supposed to say to him? 'No, I'm not okay; this has been an entirely shitty day. I had to listen to you babble on about Dee, I stumbled across a Dee/Ryo makeout session, and I was reminded that because of you, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me!!'

No, of course I couldn't say that. And so, utterly lost as to what I should do I felt myself lean upwards to capture JJ's lips with my own. It was the craziest, most nonsensical thing I'd ever done. What had possessed me to do that? I wasn't even attracted to JJ--was I?

Too many thoughts were swirling through my brain at once, so I decided to ignore them and get caught up in the moment. One of my hands crept to the back of JJ's head, fingers entwining in the dusty purple hair as I pulled him closer. At the same time, I swiped my tongue along his lips, longing to deepen the kiss.

JJ's brain seemed to finally begin registering what was happening and, to my surprise and utter delight, his lips parted, allowing my tongue entrance. I found myself moaning lowly as I permitted my tongue to thoroughly every crevice of JJ's warm, moist mouth. I could feel his breath hitch as I gently stroked his tongue with my own. His hands gripped the front of my shirt like it was an anchor. We were standing by then, so I slipped my free arm around his waist to support him, never ceasing the plundering of his mouth.

Finally, we broke apart, both of us breathing heavily. Our faces remained only inches away from each other, my arms were still wrapped around him and he still clasped my shirt so tightly I was afraid he'd rip it. His blue eyes regarded me for a moment as both of us tried to make sense of the situation.

After about half a minute, we came silent consensus. Our lips met again, more feverent, more desperate than the time before. Neither of us, it seemed, gave a damn about sense.

I pushed him backwards so that he was leaning against the desk. His hands left my shirt to grasp the edge of the tabletop, making him looks (as I paused for a quick glance) incredibly sexy and oh-so-fuckable. Feeling more of my control slip, my hands worked at the buttons on his shirt, popping a few completely off in my haste. My lips left his as I began to kiss and lick my way across his jaw and down his neck, down to his shoulder, across his collarbone--everywhere I could get at. I was eager to taste every inch of his flesh. I don't know what drove me to such need; all I knew was that I wanted JJ and I fucking wanted him NOW.

JJ's head lolled backwards. He was breathing harshly, his face was flushed. His mouth opened slightly. "D-D-D..."

I froze dead in my tracks. He wouldn't... not HIS name... not in the middle of this!

"D-D-Drake..." the word finally escaped his throat almost as a gasp. "Don't fucking STOP..."

I think that whatever control I still retained, I lost at that moment. It wasn't Dee he was thinking of for once, it was ME. I was the center of his attention, and I relished in it.

I moved back to his mouth and kissed him hungrily as I pushed him completely onto the desk (which was actually clear of debris for once). His hands came up to undo the buttons on my own shirt; I suppose he'd decided to even things up. After fumbling with the first two, he simply tugged the material over my head.

He always was rather impatient.

I'd just hopped onto the desk and straddled JJ's hips when I heard what was probably the last voice I wanted to hear at that moment.

"Wait for me there, Ryo, I've got to grab my coat."

Fuck. Dee was down the hall.

I glanced at Dee's desk and saw his coat. Double fuck. Trying not to groan in disappointment, I slipped off JJ and hastily put on my shirt. JJ apparently heard Dee as well, because he got the deer-in-headlights look on his face and looked around for his own shirt. I picked it up off the floor and threw it to him.

A minute later, Dee poked his head through the door. "Hey boys, it's quittin' time," he said cheerily. "What the hell are you doing here still?"

"Er... we were just going to leave," I said, trying not to blush. "Right, JJ?"

JJ nodded, cheeks still flushed. Dee just gave us both an odd look before grabbing his coat and walking out. Just as he reached the door, he glanced back at us. "Oh, Drake?"


"Next time you're going to ravish JJ, do it somewhere more private, please?" He flashed a grin and walked out. "Ry~o, wait up!"

I stood blinking at the door for a few minutes before I felt a tug on my sleeve. I turned to face JJ, who just looked at me and said, with a completely straight face, "Well? Shall we take his advice?"

I grinned. "Sounds good to me." I grabbed my jacket and threw an arm around my partner. We walked out of the building like that, not minding the weird looks we got. I didn't know quite what we had started that night, but I knew that with JJ, it was going to be interesting.


Written in true FAKE style... lots of meaningless nonsense, and a scene that's just about to get good when it gets cut off ^_^ I know it's rather horrible (especially towards the end) but I hope it was at least a little fun.