Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own 'em. I don't own any of these Characters 'News from the file marked 'Duh'…
Rating: PG-13. Might have a bit of swearing in it, sexual references.
Shopping with a former Klepto
(It was like a meat party in my mouth…Okay, I'm just a kid and even *I* know that came out wrong—Dawn in Wreaked)Chapter 4: Pushy Queen of Slut town
After numerous insults that concerned Spike's soulful-ness, and subtle *unintentional* dropping of household names on the Blonde's head, Dawn was winning by a landslide. There was practically no need to keep score now, except for maybe her delighted satisfaction in making Spike suffer. Yes, the vampire was now officially pissed off. Dawn couldn't keep the smirk off her face as she glanced at him from the corner of her eye, the muscles in his face twitching ever so often. Now she knew why Xander found it so fun to bug him.
They had gone down a few aisles already. The snack food aisle practically filled the shopping cart more than half way. As much as Dawn agreed that she was going to get healthy food for the Potentials, this trip was soon becoming a gigantic junk-a-thon. And now Dawn was loading the cart up with packets of candy and chocolate, while simultaneously chewing on a bunch of sour skittles. She had seriously missed out on her sugar load recently; the slayers-in-training were such pigs.
"I thought this outing was to get things other than colored sugar," Spike stated as he watched the teenager dump packets of M&M's in the cart.
Dawn glared at him as she popped another handful of skittles in her mouth, " I've been going without sugary goodness for a long time. All this sweet stuff you see here is mine. All for Dawn, nudda for the Potentials,"
Spike tilted his head in realization and swiped a red lollipop from a protesting Dawn's hand. " I knew you had to have another motive for coming here," Spike said as he twirled the candy in front of her, " That whole bleeding thing bout you wanting to do something for the team wasn't the main reason why you wanted to come 'ere was it? You wanted to visit Willy Wonka's and gorge on sugar,"
"I so did not," retorted Dawn.
"Hello! The whole trolley's full of cheesy puffy snacks and gummy treats,"
"Well, gumminess is important in the slaying, so is cheesy puffiness," Dawn said, "And anyway, it's not like you're Mr. Health guy. You smoke and drink,"
"Vampire. And furthermore, I don't think it's a good idea to get the wannabe Slayers on a sugar high," Spike shuddered.
Dawn rolled her eyes and heaved the cart along the aisle. For some reason it was annoying her that they were talking like this. All this chit chatting banter was a bit too friendly for her. They were arguing but Dawn didn't want to even give him that. She had tried the silent treatment but she just couldn't seem to keep her mouth shut. She wanted to act cold towards him. Wanted him to stumble behind her silently because he knew he wasn't allowed to talk to her. But here they were, him accusing her of being here because of a sugar driven motive. Which so wasn't true, well, not entirely.
* * * * * *
"We need another one," Dawn said.
"No we don't," Spike replied.
"Yes we do, go get me one,"
"This is ridiculous. I am not getting you another trolley. You've got enough and I am not your little do-as-Dawn-pleases boy. What else could you possibly want to get? The gallons of melted ice cream or the decaying chunks of meat? We have enough, we're going,"
Dawn's mouth set into an angry pout. They had enough. They we're going. Since when did he make the decisions? Since when was he allowed to boss her around? Maybe their bickering wasn't a very good idea. Maybe Dawn should have used a different tactic. It was fun to annoy the vampire but this was not where she wanted them going. She didn't want him to think he could talk to her now. She didn't want him to think that he could join in on this game. And she certainly didn't want him to tell her what to do.
"Look Mr. Glow," Dawn said, she had been running out of names to call the glow stick covered vamp, " You're the yes-man, so yes-man me dammit!"
"I am not the yes-man," Spike retorted, the muscles in his face twitching.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Dawn said sardonically, "Cause you know, when Buffy kept telling you that you were a evil soulless thing, you didn't go out and get a soul. Or when Buffy said she would rather have the 'dangerous' Spike back, you didn't grab your duster from out of the dirt. Now because you're a vampire Spike, it may be hard to comprehend that humans need some necessities other than food. Particularly females and—"
"I'll go get the trolley," Spike cut in, realizing what Dawn was implying.
"Idiot," Dawn muttered as she watched the Vampire retreating.
She lingered slowly down the pet food aisle; there wasn't much she needed here. It was pretty easy to see what was on the shelves because she had gotten some more flashlights and glow sticks and had attached them to the cart. The cart was impressive, with its own little headlights and all. As she studied some type of cat litter a fun thought entered her mind. It was something she hadn't done in a long time, actually never when you take into account the fake Monk made memories. She gripped onto the cart and walked backwards to the start of the aisle. The cart was a bit heavy for this kind of thing but she could manage. She was going for a ride on the Wonka-mobile.
Dawn positioned the cart in the middle and then started to push it down the aisle. When she decided she had picked up enough speed she hopped her feet onto the cart. The air rushed beside her as she rode down the aisle. She watched in fascination as the glow sticks' colors went all blurry. She loved this feeling, she always had. Forget that the memories were fake, her feelings weren't. She could forget for just a moment that they were verging on the end of the world. Forget she was the one who asked her sister to leave. Forget everything for just a moment.
Dawn closed her eyes for a few seconds and reveled in the feeling of freedom. She opened her eyes and any good feelings she had were washed away by the figure that was standing at the end of the aisle watching her. Her eyes widened in surprise as she slammed her feet down and tried to stop the cart. Dawn managed to slow it down but couldn't stop it from nudging into the other cart that was of her spectator's. She cursed silently as she grudgingly looked up at a pair of amused eyes.
"Havin' fun at the *Super*market, bit?" Spike smirked.
Dawn grabbed a can off a shelf and pushed it into Spike's hands. "Here, you're favourite Spikey," Dawn glared as she pushed the full cart into the next aisle. Which was hard to do because of her slim frame, so she had to turn it in a big circle to get it to move.
Spike smiled as he looked down at the can in his hands. "Mighty Meats for mature dogs," Spike read.
* * * * * *
Dawn was going to get him back. She was still technically in the lead but that whole trolley incident had really given him some big points. It was when she was halfway through chucking tampons and toilet paper into the extra trolley that she noticed something that would do the trick. It was a dangerous gamble, there was a good chance that it would back fire on her. But she decided to go through with it. So quite casually she strolled up to the shelves, lifted off a packet of condoms and then nonchalantly pitched it into the shopping cart Spike was wheeling. Then proceeded to push her cart down the aisle without looking back and waited to hear his reaction.
Spike lazily looked down at all the human necessities. His eyes widened when he caught sight of the little packet nestled in between the bundle of toilet paper. He tilted his head to the side, as his mouth gaped open. He couldn't seem to decipher his thoughts, let alone put it into words but there still was one constant thing running through his mind. Why the bloody hell does she need those? He lifted his head to see Dawn looking ever so calmly at some hand lotion, and said the only thing he could manage.
"Why the bloody hell do you need them?"
Dawn put down the bottle and smiled sweetly at the vampire, "Spike, I'm pretty sure we both know what they're for,"
"Maybe I should rephrase my question a tad," Spike said, now able to form other words, "Why the bloody hell do *you* need them?"
Dawn blinked and gave him an empathetic look, "Does Spikey need to have a birds and bees conversation. Hay, maybe we should call Xander and you two can have some male bonding time,"
"Think I got the birds and bees thing covered," Spike replied, "And I'm certainly not talking to Harris about…" Spike froze and thought back to the basement, the basement and the smell of sweaty Xander Harris. Spike was sure it was Xander and ex-vengeance demon that had a bit of rough and tumble down there. He was sure it was them…but now, not quite that sure. What if it wasn't Anya, what if it was…"You?! You and Carpenter boy shagging? On my…Oh that's just…"
"What? Are you serious? Me and Xander?" Dawn exclaimed.
"Then who? I mean, hello! Not really anybody else. Well, 'cept for the nerd but…"Spike paused as he thought about it. Dawn was really the only one who talked to the boy. When he thought really hard, they did look a bit too cozy together; "You're doing it with Mr. Dungeons and dragons? That's just wrong, bit?"
"Andrew?" Dawn cringed, "Thanks Spike for the mental images I'm now having,"
"Then who? There's only those two and the principal but I seriously doubt that you'd—"Spike's voice trailed off, as he set a pair of accusing eyes Dawn's way.
Dawn stared back incredulously, he really thought that she'd…this game wasn't fun anymore.
* * * * * *
An: Hey. I brought Buffy season 6 DVDs the other day. All the Buff and Angel DVDs were half price so I was freakin'. But I was like don't spend all your hard earned money, you have to save dammit. Anyway I was watching the special features and it had this panel discussion and James, Michelle, Alyson, Nicholas, and Joss Wheddon and a few others were there, talking (duh). I really didn't know that heaps of people complained that season 6 was too dark and morbid. I personally didn't think it was that dark, but I am a morbid person. But come on! It was funny…the musical…Tabula Rasa….Dark Willow was cool…Dawn was a Klepto! She parked with a vamp:) I admit it was also sad, but good sad. The only thing that shitted me was the lack of Dawn and Spikeness. The First few eps had a bit but then it just went to hell…and that other bit in seeing red…but that wasn't much to yay about. I would love it if Dawn were a guest star in Angel. Cause it would be good to see how she'd react to Spike after that whole 'you'll wake up on fire' thing.
I saw some pics for that movie 'Eurotrip' with Michelle in it. I hope it's not a real crappy film. Cause like Roadtrip was funny but not ha ha funny or memorable funny cause I don't remember a thing about it. Mhh
My Lil'Bad muse has yet to hit me. I know what's in the next chap, but I just can't be bothered typing it. I had this whole moment of me not wanting to write anything but then I started this…mhh I don't know anymore…I don't even know why I'm typin this, I really should get a journal on the net but don't really know how, can't be bothered. Daria sums it up pretty well 'If you don't mind I'm gonna crawl back into myself for a while'