A Conversation with a Dead Commando

Based on the:

The M.A.S.K. Mary Sue Litmus Test

(Which in turn was based on the original by http://missy.reimer.com/library/marysue.html.)

The original was removed because the Fanfiction.net admin thought this was a "Non-story: list, announcement, etc" . Phooey. Still, if they don't like it, I shall honour them and do this another way.

However, since the people in the LOTR archive seem to be able to get away with more than the poor sods here in the MASK archive, I am now compelled to write this in a story form. This should be a challenge.

"A Conversation with a Dead Commando" refers to of course, my lovely Inaya Vendun, the poor PNA Commando who 'died' at the end of 'Wait for the Dawn'. I'm talking to the dead here, so humour me.




There are some terms used in this story that may confuse you, so here's a brief explanation: Firstly, what the heck is a Mary Sue?

'Mary Sue' is a generic name for a original character written in a fanfiction which is actually a representation of the writer him/herself. Most writers start out by writing Mary-Sue fiction. While there is nothing wrong with writing a Mary Sue fic, most of these stories are badly done and usually leave readers with an urge to vomit and/or murder the featured character.

In the MASK universe, Mary Sue is the gorgeous new member of the MASK team, who is assigned that brand spanking new vehicle and mask made especially for her with that cool new feature that no one else has. She's smart, sassy, well-liked by everyone in the team, and is usually related to one of the original characters. She's smarter than Alex Sector and Bruce Sato combined, is Gloria Baker's sensei in martial arts, gets away with more daring stunts than Dusty Haynes and knows more about weapons than Hondo McLean. She's also handy in an emergency, and always ends up saving the day by taking on the entire VENOM team all by herself. Matt likes her even though he won't admit it to himself. Brad is constantly flirting with her. Sometimes the guys all fall over her. They might even fight with each other for her attenrion. Scott sees her as a mother figure. She's Gloria Baker's best friend. Hell, She's everybody's best friend and even some of the bad evil VENOM guys find her irresistable.

The male counterpart of Mary Sue is of course that broody mysterious guy who joins the team and is always at odds with Matt Trakker because he's got the better idea. He's got that mysterious past that he constantly refers to without wanting to talk about it and when not on duty, is brooding about about something bad he did (but didn't really do) in the past. Women like Gloria Baker find him irresistible, and even Vanessa Warfield isn't above flirting with him while they're locked in combat (or lips... *shudder*).

She'll either end up getting married (or laid) with one of the original characters (Brad Turner and Matt Trakker come to mind) or gets killed tragically in some noble sacrifice, and the entire team will go into mourning.

Until her next resurrection, that is.

Now that you know what a Mary Sue is, let get on with the story!


Inaya Vendun floated around in the darkness. She remembered being blasted, thrown off a crumbling building, and being immolated in flame. She supposed she might have hit the ground too. After all, gravity was gravity regardless of one's condition whether dead or alive or both. But after being blasted, thrown off a crumbling building and immolated, hitting the ground wasn't that big a deal anyway.

It is said that odd things happen to those on the verge of death.

This was certainly true in Inaya's case, because even as sanity faded into a pinprick in the distance, a figure drifted into view. A woman.

She was dazzlingly beautiful and had long gorgeous hair that fluttered in the non-existent wind. Her eye were as alluring as pools of black darkness.

And twinkling green stars.

And blue as the cerulian sky.

And golden as the pale rays of a golden sunset.

Inaya blinked. She must be going crazy. All of those qualities couldn't possibly be true on a single individual, but there they were. Right in front of her.

The woman flicked her lovely long hair, glistening with auburn highlights, over her shoulder.

"Greetings, sister." The woman said in a voice that was as melodious as the every essence of melody itself.

"Whoa! Wait a minute!" Inaya demanded. "What the hell did you just call me?"

"Sister." The woman prompted. "Female sibling? Female child born also from the same womb..." Her lovely long raven tresses glittered in a shaft of sunlight that seem to have come out of nowhere.

"I know what a sister is!" Snapped Inaya peevishly. "What I mean is you're no sister of mine, so what's with the sistering business?!"

The woman sighed in a tone that implied Inaya was being childish. "Of course, I meant something else entirely. I mean a sister as in the sense of sisterhood. You know, bird of a feather?"

Inaya didn't answer. She was too busy being mesmerised by the fact that the woman kept changing into different versions of the same person as they spoke. One moment she'd be a brainy blonde beauty with aquamarine eyes, the next she'd be a temptress of the night, complete with a dark shroud of silky hair with fair skin and deep blue eyes on the side, and after that a fiery auburn haired virago with sparking green eyes.

"Erm... what did you say your name was again?" Inaya ventured at last as the woman gave her such a dazzling smile that she was almost blinded by the sheen of her teeth. Even as she smiled, a streak of black hair appeared at the temple of the woman's hair.

"I go by many names and faces ("You don't say." grumbled Inaya), but some call me Mary Sue."

"Mary Sue..." pondered Inaya. Then the name registered. Inaya's eyes opened in shock.

"Ah ****!" she swore. "I'm in HELL!"


To Be Continued....Muahahahah!


Next: Breadmold by any other name would smell just as rotten.