Disclaimer: No I don't own MASK, or anything related. Inaya and Stinky are mine, Mary Sue I wouldn't claim if they begged me to.


Chapter 2: Breadmold by any other name would smell just as rotten


"Tell me, my dear," Mary Sue enquired. "What is your name?"

"What's it to you?" muttered Inaya, still peeved.

"I have told you mine. Surely you should return the favour?"

"All right. All right." Inaya grumbled. "Inaya Vendun."

The Sue clapped her hands. "Such a lovely name. It certainly fits the specifications!"

"What?" Inaya said flatly. The word 'specifications' had made her think of a vehicle or mask that her ex-team had used.

"The specifications of the sisterhood." Mary Sue replied. "See here." She pulled out a sheet of script and a crystal ball."

Inaya took the script and glanced at Mary Sue. "What's with the crystal ball? That looks so outdated!" She involuntarily cringed as Mary Sue gave a tinkling laugh.

"Of course, how silly of me." she giggled daintily. She snapped her fingers and it was instantly replaced by the MASK computer, complete with remote control.

Elsewhere, Matt Trakker and Buddy Hawkes scratched their heads, looking at the void where the MASK computer had been.

Further elsewhere, a magician was knocked unconscious as his missing crystal ball materialized from nowhere to two feet above his head.

"Thank you so much for reminding me." Mary Sue said, a roguish twinkle in her amber eyes. She juggled the remote as she swept her red-gold hair out of her clashing deep red eyes. Inaya's eyes, however, were rolling in disbelief. She distracted herself by reading the list.

"The MASK Mar-" she began.

"Shhh!!!" Mary shushed. "Do not read the 'title out loud, lest we be banished from this place once more!"

"Once more?!"

"'tis a long story." Sighed Mary Sue melodiously, despite the fact such a thing was not possible.

Inaya gave her a look of disgust. "What's with the pseudo-fantasy talk?" she snapped once more. "We're not stuck in the middle ages, or earth or something."

"Oh very well." Mary Sue snapped her fingers, so now she was a doctor (she still had auburn hair and green eyes). A pair of glasses were perched on her nose despite the fact she had perfect vision, and somehow managed to make her look even more sexier.

"The name..." Mary Sue began in an accent that most ignorant people would have thought was British. "... is the most defining part of the sisterhood. The greatest givaway is the fact that the name of the sister is the similiar to the name of the Creator."

"What? Inaya looked confused. "God-iva?"

Mary Sue affected a look of unending patience. "No, my dear. the Creator."

Blank stare from Inaya.

"Look." Mary Sue sighed. "Let's just put it this way: If the Creator goes by the name of Laura, then a typical sisterhood name would be Laurelin. Do you understand? It need not be the creator's real name, of course. It could be the name the creator likes for his/herself, or a nickname."


"That is not all! Most names for us (Inaya didn't like the way she said 'us) are highly unusual. Sometimes it is a woman with a man's name (Say Jack), and unsual spelling of a name, or sometimes it's a name the character gives his/herself for any reason. I mean after all, how many people do you know are called Inaya?"

The MASK computer took this opportunity to display a picture of Inaya herself on the screen, then changed to show a woman doctor with hair in a bun which bore an uncanny resemblence to Mary Sue.

"Point taken." Inaya growled through clenched teeth.

"Ten points, actually." Said Mary Sue sweetly. "Sometimes, by some freak of nature, the Creator becomes so fond of the character that he/she names him/herself after him/her. That is also worth ten points."

"I'm worth negative ten!" Squealed a voice from nowhere. A chubby figure danced out happily, buzz-cut hair a sharp contrast to Mary Sue's tidy little bun. "My name is Stinky!"

At this point, Inaya was rendered speechless with shock.

"Oh no! Not you!" Groaned Mary Sue.

"Yes me!" Stinky grinned, showing an unsightly gap between her front calipers. "Whassamatter, Ms. Mary Sue Trakker!? 'Friad I'll take over the name game? Well, why not?"

"Trakker?!" Inaya echoed.

"Yep yep yep!" Stinky quipped, running around like a ferret who has had too much sugar. "Also her full name is Mary Sue Yesirock Turner Baker Haynes Hawkes McLean Sector Riker LaFleur Warfield Mayhem Rax Kennedy Trakker!" Stinky stopped for breath at that point. "MY surname," Stinky announced proudly, "...is Piggywunkels!!"

"Go away!" Mary Sue screeched, red-gold hair coming out of her elegant bun. "Go away, you little imp!"

"Also..." Stinky continued as he darted away from Mary Sue's attempts to strangle him with her perfectly-shaped, creamy white hands. "If the name of the character appears in the story title, (The MASK computer started showing "A Conversation with A Dead Commando" in block red letters), then that's worth a couple of points also! YEoW!" Mary Sue had managed to scratch Stinky.

"As I was saying before this hypocritical b*** interrupted..." continued Stinky, shooting Mary Sue a savage glance. "If the creator spends an inordinate amount of time looking for a name for the character, and considers naming children/pets after that character, then that's worth a few points to the final score ofthe sist... YIKES!"

Mary Sue managed to catch Stinky Piggywunkels this time, and tossed the chubby little imp-like figure out of a door that Inaya was very sure hadn't been there before.

"Forget you sow that." Mary Sue said primly. "But as I was saying, your highly unusual name gives an indication that may be one ofthe sisterhood."

"Hmmph. Breadmold by any other name would smell just as rotten." Inaya fumed.


To Be Continued... (I am evil!)


Next: What You see is What You... Bleck!