How do I love thee? Let me count the ways;
I love you for your scabies, your plentiful diseases;
your Yellow Fever and your crabs, your darling German Measles,
I love it when you shout at me, you're sexy when you're rude,
I even love your monkey pee - spray some on my food?
I love you for your scabby eyes, your most entrancing tail,
I love you for your 'Mr', it's more fun if you are male;
Oh, Monkey, how I love thee, you're far more fun than Squall
We all know that Puberty-boy don't have no dick at all!
I love you for abusing me, your sadism is exotic
I love the rocks you throw at me, it's really quite erotic.
I love you when you smile at me, your spit brings my heart luck;
You're a lover, you're a fighter, you're a most fantastic.. writer,
Oh, Monkey, never leave me! You're an angel from above.
I offer you my herpes, and I offer you my love.
... You suck.
- MR. MONKEY