Author: Chyna_Whyte

Email: chyna_whyte2005@yahoo.com

Summary: Buffy decides she doesn't want Angel back. She likes the darkness in Angelus, because that's the creature she is.

Buffy lifted her tear filled eyes towards the full moon. Its glow shined back to her quite mockingly, flashing its freedom in her face. Thoughts flew through her head faster than she could register them. Thoughts about her friends, her family…him.

Why did everything always lead back to him? He is gone. Why couldn't she realize that and get over it? He is gone and someone else took his place. Yeah, right. That's really the problem.

She could fool her friends, her mom, and, hell, even her Watcher. Try as she might, though, she couldn't convince herself enough. As soon as she might be able to think about something else, anything else, he shows up. That wild animalistic glint in his eyes almost making her jealous. *He could unleash his dark side.* The absolute sexy way he walks up to her. It makes the bruises she knows she's about to receive worth it. The way his eyes travel up and down her body and his soft lips draw up in a dirty leer. And his hands... Oh, those hands that brought her to utter pain and complete pleasure.

Remembering Angel's touch, she wondered what Angelus could do with a bit of pain-

Her thoughts were cut off abruptly by being roughly shoved and pinned to the ground face first. Feeling her hands sting from them being scraped on the ground she cursed. *Damn! Not that kind of pain!*

"All by your lonesome tonight, huh, slayer? Looks like it's my lucky night." He said moving her hair out of the way to get closer to her neck.

She recoiled from the stench of alcohol on the vampire's breath and threw her head back to crash into the vampire's. She got up and quickly pulled a stake from pocket. She watched as the vampire struggled to get his footing. Drunk. How can a vampire get drunk?

He spoke in a light southern accent, "Aw, slayer don't be so rough. Sharing is caring, baby."

She grew angrier at the false endearment. She grabbed another stake from the back of her pants and threw it expertly at him. She watched him with a small grin, collapse on the ground. She walked up to him and kneeled down.

"Whoops. I missed." She gestured towards the stake coming out of his neck. "But, I'll share this one with you." She rammed the stake in her hand through his heart. She picked up both of her stakes and put them away. She stood and began to make her way out of the cemetery. That was nice. A bit of violence to free her mind of him.

*God, what am I turning into?* Buffy tiredly closed her eyes for a second and opened them. Deciding that Sunnydale could fend for them selves for the rest of the night, she started to make her way home.

She had managed to keep her thoughts on a Chemistry test she had the next day all the way until she got into her room. She dropped her bag and the stakes she carried next to her door not caring that her mom could come and see it. Not bothering to change she moved over to her bed ready to collapse on it. Before she could she noticed a beautiful black rose and an overturned piece of paper. She lifted the rose carefully and inhaled its intoxicating scent. She turned the paper over. In shock she dropped the rose to her bed. In a carefully drawn sketch was her looking at the moon, with red tears flowing down her face. It seemed almost life like, perfect. As if he had a sense of her thoughts her wrote on the bottom: Not close enough.

She knew who it was from, but if she had not the loopy, elegant A in a corner would have given her a clue. She lifted the rose to her nose again and laid the painting on the table next to her.

"You do that every night." She turned towards the voice at the window. Angelus. "Stare at the moon as if it can offer you some sort of… freedom. It can't." He stepped fully into her room. "Only I can."

Her eyes widened and she sputtered, "W-what are you doing here? You can't come in here. You're uninvited."

He smiled, the one she fell in love with, "You're right. I can only come in if I'm invited. And, lover, this is one hell of an invitation."

Confused she looked around. What was so different, except she had taken down the crosses and garlic and left the window open and…oh.

"That shouldn't count."

"It wouldn't. If you didn't do it on purpose." He stepped closer to her, "and what purpose would that be, baby?"

Baby? That reminded her of the incident she had earlier in the night. *All by your lonesome tonight…* She quickly pushed away from him regaining her senses.

"You follow me, don't you? Every night! You follow me!" She shrieked, "I knew it…"

"Well, duh. What did you think, I'd leave you alone? It doesn't work that way, Little Slayer. You're mine." He grabbed her by the shoulders and pressed her tightly to him.

She whimpered being so close to him, "What if I don't want to be yours?"

"We'll never have to find out." His swiftly put his lips to hers in brutal kiss which she answered immediately. He lifted her up and she wrapped her self around him. He roughly pushed her against a wall knocking down a picture in the process. "You want me to take you, without consideration of anything else. You want to be free. Free of responsibility, free of the world. And the safest way to get that is through me."

Buffy's hand slid over his face looking in wonder at him. Her breathe was slightly accelerated at the feel of being so close to him. "How do you think you know that? You don't know me."

He laughed obviously very amused, "You think I don't know you? When you were with Angel I was also with you, lover. I remember every deliciously naughty thing you did to my body. I know everything that you wanted to do, but was too scared to do so. It's your eyes little Slayer. You can't hide anything form me."

Buffy moaned as he rubbed his erection against her, her hands grasping his shoulders as to get control of her emotions. Not knowing what to say she kissed him putting all of the feelings she was trying to express in it.

Angelus smiled after the kiss was broken, "Tell me you want it. Tell me you want me."

She tried to pull herself closer to him, "I want you…I need you."

"Now, don't you feel better?" Angelus put his lips back to hers. Their clothes were abandoned in a hurry and all that happened after wards was a haze of passion as he took her on the wall.

They collapsed on her bed for a moment of rest. Angelus' growls(purrs) of pleasure echoed through the room and she felt herself grow excited again. Pushing herself on top of him, she glanced toward the broken picture frame and almost felt a pang of regret. Her friends honest and pure eyes stared back at her. She finally let go. She could be happy with this darkness. She lives in it and she'll die in it. And nothing could make her want to change that.