disclaimer: I do not own Soul Calibur and the characters as well. These all
belong to NAMCO. Such a pity; they won't let me have them. Oh well. But
this fanfic is mine.

Calibur University - Bring on the Keg!
A Calibur Academy super-projected-far-into-the-future-One-shot
inspired by Scream (No Relation to the Movie) at Fanfiction.net by kagato23/
Richard Gallivan

by jin long

Taki awoke to one unbelievable hangover that reminded her of the time a demon that tried to
possess her. Her head throbbed with one monstrous headache that half-made her wish to be
dead. Even cramming for one stupid final exam for professor Cervantes did not leave her
with such pain.

Kono kuso da......! What was she thinking, going over to Raphael's mansion for late-night partying
when Sophitia had invited her over to Greece and their flight would be the day after? And dame da!
Was she even thinking when she started drinking more than her constitution would allow when her
Calibur buddies brought out that cursed Soul Keg?!

Suddenly, Taki became very much aware of three things that were really out of place.

1.She was naked.... Okay, big deal, she did sleep naked when she felt like it.
2.She was not in her bed.... Geh! Now this was a problem.
3.She was with someone also naked... Kuso! NOW there was a problem! Who the hell did she drag
into bed...

Taki looked at all the strewn clothes around the room hoping, that by some miracle of the great
kami and Kami-sama itself that she would see either Shishi-o brand clothing or an Omega-brand
blouse and Elk-brand sneakers....

Sophitia blinked as the sunlight met her eyes. By Hephaestus, why did her head hurt so much? Not
even geometry did this to her brain. She felt as if the entire Trojan war had been fought out on or
in her head. Oh, surely Tartarus must be better than this Dionysus-produced ache!

Suddenly, Sophitia realized three things.

1.She was naked... Uh oh...
2.She was not in her bed... UH OH...
3.She was with someone also naked.... By the Gods, what happened to her?!

Sophitia rose with a start. She'd heard about these things happening. She'd heard all the stories.
And now... now it was actually happening to her! Oh by the gods.... by the gods... would she get
pregnant now?! Would she become a statistic?! Why oh why did she ever go to the damned
party at Raphael's mansion?! She knew she couldn't hold alcohol that well...

Sophitia swallowed hard and turned to face whoever it was that was with her in the bed.

She nearly cried with joy at who was with her.

"Taki!!! Oh thank the gods, you save me yet again!"

Taki blinked as Sophtia hugged her. Several things went through her mind.

1.Apparently, all the teasing that Mitsurugi, her other best friend, did about her *preferences* were
now rendered true.
2.Now she knew which best friend she was *really* attracted to.
3.Now the rumors about her and Sophitia *on campus* were rendered true.
4.If Hachibei or the Alexandras got wind of this, it would become very, very complicated...
5.She didn't want to get out of bed.

"Uh... You wanna go again?" she sheepishly asked Sophitia, for lack of options in her mind.

The Greek put on an equally sheepish grin.

Meanwhile, in the second living room of Raphael's mansion, Astaroth woke up with a groan, soon
grinning. "Astaroth happy. Vodka good..." he murmured to himself, knowing that he'd substituted
vodka for beer in the keg several times over the previous night. Vodka, tequila, rum, sambuca,
gin, and just about every other potent alcoholic drink, to be exact.

Then a thought crossed his mind, and he hoped nothing particularly bad had happened. Some of
the other Calibur folks had been real drunk before he passed out.

On the other side of the room and on the biliard table, Rock was hoplessly stoned and clutching the
keg to himself. Astaroth remembered that Rock had been after the Soul Keg and they had fought
over it. At least nothing stupid had happened between them.

"Little brown keg don't I looooove thee....!" Rock sang sleepily.

Mitsurugi snorted as he woke up with one nasty hangover. Kuso da! He knew the stuff in the Soul
Keg wasn't beer! And dame da! He shouldn't have challenged Taki yet again to a drinking contest-
the last time they both did such a thing they were both irredeemably wasted. Good thing that at the
time it was at Sophitia's house or they really might have gotten into trouble.

"OH MY GOD!!!"

A female-voiced scream suddenly kicked the chivalry in Mitsurugi's samurai training into action.
Chikushoh! This was bound to happen, what with everybody being drunk out of their minds. He
recognized the voice - Sophitia! Oh man, one of his good friends was in trouble, who cared about
everything else?!

He leapt out of bed and prepared to run to the source when suddenly he realized he was naked.
Looking for his pants, his eyes fell upon clothes that were obviously of the Omega brand of
apparel. Eyes wide, Mitsurugi peered at whoever it was that had been with him in bed.

Uh oh.

Mitsurugi quickly gathered up his clothing, dressed and ran out of the room. Kami-sama!!! Sophitia
would skin him alive if she found out about this!!!

The sudden slam of the door woke up Cassandra, who blinked with a blank expression on her face.
Oh great. If Sophitia found out that she'd gone to this party for upperclassmen... Wait a moment,
what was she doing in a bed, completely naked and by herself?

Mitsurugi placed a hand on the doorknob. He took a deep, calming breath and quickly turned the
knob. The samurai burst into the room, intent on beating up whoever had caused his good friend
any trouble at all. He was braced for anything.

Well, almost anything.

With the looks Taki and Sophitia gave him, the fact that they were naked and in bed together, and
the fact that Mitsurugi occasionally indulged in online browsing of matters hentai, the samurai
immediately figured out what the scream was about and what the heck was going on. Taki?
Sophitia? Taki and Sophitia naked in the same bed together under the covers?!

Mitsurugi had several things that he accepted as a fact of life.

1.I need the Soul Keg to beat the Tanegashima fraternity.
2.Taki is my best bud and a best bud of Taki's is a best bud of mine.
3.Taki can be real sexy without trying.
4.Sophitia's cute too.
5.Be Chivalrous
6.Hwang is a dope and so is Kilik
7.Taki and Sophitia are just friends.
7a.Despite the looks Sophitia and Taki give each other in Profesor Cervantes' class, there's
nothing going on between them.
7b.Despite how outrageously nice and sexy it seems, there is nothing between Sophitia and Taki.
7c.Despite all that playfully flirty conversation between them both, Taki and Sophitia will never
be found naked in bed with each other.
8.Shishi-o happens.

One of Mitsurugi's truths and its sub-truths had just been shattered. He didn't know what to think
and could only gawk. He opened his mouth to say something like maybe, "Congratulations!", but
nothing could be heard. Coughing apologetically, he closed the door.

Siegfried groaned as a result of a hangover that hurt worse than his occasional transformation into
Nightmare. Stupid Frenchman Raphael! Mein Gott, his head hurt worse than the time a horse
accidentally drove a hoof into his head. Gotten himmel, there would be hell to pay! Schniezen!

Suddenly, Siegfried realized several things.

1.He was naked... and his back and buttcheeks stung like anything!
2.He wasn't in his own bed... Schniezen! How much nicer this one smelled!
3.He was with someone also naked... Mein Gott! Who could it be?!
4.There were a whip and a paddle on the floor near him... so that was why his butt and back hurt!
5.There was also a leather dominatrix outfit beside the whip and paddle... hoooo schniezen....

His companion groaned, and he turned to look over at who it was. Gott, his head hurt...

Isabella Valentine, known on campus as Ivy and professor Cervantes' daughter, groaned. Man,
she'd had her hands full with whoever had been her partner last night! She'd been soused, but
not so much that she couldn't remember how insatiable her partner had been. If Ivy heard the
word 'more' one more time...

Wait... who was her partner? Ivy blinked and turned to face whoever it was that was in bed with
her. She certainly didn't expect to see some teutonic face with its characteristic blue eyes staring
down at her own of Spanish descent.

"You?!" both Siegfried and Ivy exclaimed, flabbergasted.

"What in Himmel did you do to me?" Siegfried screamed accusingly. "My butt and my back hurt
like hell!" Ivy blinked, then retorted in equal tone "Me? You're the one who kept saying 'more,
MORE' all night!"

"WHAAAAT?!" Siegfried gasped. "You mean to say *I* WAS ASKING FOR IT?!"

"Who else is with me right now, stupid?" Ivy replied. "It was fun at first, but then it became really
boring then really gross when you asked for things so perverted that I won't even mention them
to be done to you! Geez, even *I* draw the line at some things!" With a huff, Ivy closed her eyes
and went back to sleep, leaving a very puzzled teutonic man to wonder.

Then it all came back to Siegfried. The Soul Keg, the helluva party, going up with someone to this
room, waking up naked next to somebody with a sore back and stinging buttcheeks, getting drunk
...Mein Gott, now he knew why and how this all happened. It always happened everytime he got
inebriated and lost some control.

Hit me baby one more time...

Nightmare had struck again.


The breeze wafting into the room where she was in was what roused Talim from sleep. Buwiset...
that was the last time she'd ever let Cassandra talk her into joining a party for upperclassmen.
Like just about everyone else, Talim had a raging headache and was in no mood for any
surprises or loud noises.

Suddenly, as was getting to be the norm, Talim noticed a few things.

1.She was naked... Diyoskopo! Why was she naked?
2.She was not in her own bed.... This wood isn't bamboo! Where am I?
3.She was with someone also naked.... Teka nga, who the hell was this?!

"Cassandra! May lightning strike you!" cursed the young Filipina.

"Would you keep it down?! Your shouting makes my head hurt!" Xianghua woke up and began to
massage her temples to drive away the ache in her head. The Chinese girl blinked a few times
then turned to face her companion. "Maxi, I swear to the Emperor of Heaven himself... Wait,
you're not Maxi!" Xianghua exclaimed.

"Tanga!!!!" Talim yelled. "Of course not! Now do you mind explaining to me what you are doing
with me, in bed and naked?!" Who knew that foreign alcohol would make her stoned enough to
risk losing her purity as a sibyl of the wind? The next time Cassandra got any bright ideas, Talim
swore to knock the young Greek silly.

Xianghua cringed as Talim's loud voice echoed in her ears, making her headache worse. "It's not
what it looks like! I swear! I don't know what we're doing here together and like this! I was
drunk!" Xianghua replied. "Stupid Maxi!"

Xianghua looked up with a sudden realization. "Wait. If I'm not with Maxi or Kilik, I wonder...?"

Kilik woke up.

Maxi woke up.

Both saw each other.

Both realized some things.

1.They were naked.
2.They were not in each other's respective beds.
3.They were in bed with someone else who was naked.

Kilik and Maxi screamed like heck.

Seung Mina stretched. She had a mild headache and she felt somewhat off, but it was no different
nor much worse than the first hangover she ever had. Looking over at the clock that was in the
shape of an elf in green holding a boomerang, Seung Mina could tell that it was about three hours
til noon. Wow, she must have been really wasted to have woken up at such an hour.

Suddenly, Seung Mina realized three things that should be very familiar by now.

1.She was naked... Oh boy...
2.She was not in her bed... Damn, she was so screwed, having missed curfew!
3.She was with someone also naked.... It had better not be that Kim boy....

She turned to her right to face whoever had been her lover for the night.

Hwang?! Seung Mina's eyes widened. Oh well, she thought after getting over her initial surprise, at
least it was someone she knew quite well. Maybe her father would go bug Hwang instead of her
for once if she told him about what happened. Hwang snored as if in reply.

He is SO stoned, Mina thought as she tried to rise from bed to get to her clothes and sneak back
home to the Seung dojo. However, a soft moan and an arm draped across her stomach stopped
her. She looked down at the arm. It wasn't Hwang's arm. Then whose?

Seung Mina followed the arm up to someone's shoulder and someone's face. Y-Yunsung?! It was
the second time that Seung Mina found herself shocked. Both Hwang and Yunsung were here, so
was it possible that.... all three of them were naked so was it possible that....

Oh great. How was she going to explain that she'd gotten it on with both of her father's star pupils?

Meanwhile, Raphael woke up with the worst hangover among everybody. Sacre bleu, whatever
was in the keg was certainly not beer and he was tres sure about that. How the contents got
switched around he would not know, but next time he'd be sure to check the keg before unleashing
it on the other Calibur folks.

It was then that Raphael realized something.

1.He was not naked.
2.He was in his bed.
3.He was not with someone else who was also naked.

Still suffering from the hangover, Raphael shrugged his shoulders and went back to sleep. The
thought that everyone had gotten something out of being drunk and that he probably should have
as well didn't cross his half-pickled brain. It didn't strike him that he was supposed to have
scored with someone, French charm and all that.

Raphael was just too damn tired.

Voldo woke up.

That's it. He was unable to go, having to attend a seminar of Tight Leather Lovers Anonymous the
night before.

Cervantes woke up, then went back to sleep. That's all.

He wasn't invited. Of course not! He was the Professor and he was grading papers. What do you

the end!

also the end of jin long's insane phase.