Disclaimer/Warning: Full credit to JKR, Slashy intent non-descriptive. Not beta read.
Summary: AU, If your portrait is painted on wedding canvas…you are considered married.
Harry and Ron stood in the entrance hall of the Ministry building watching the other witch and wizards pass by. Both boys had mischievous smiles on their faces, wands in hand both totally prepared to perform a spell or charm as needed, though there was no magic to be done. Both thrilled to finally be considered adult wizards though there was still a year of school to get through. Like most boys who had finally become full-fledged wizards they had a slightly jumpy trigger finger. Both of course had done every charm and hex they could on each other...and of course who ever was present…namely Ginny and Hermione who was still waiting for her 17th birthday.
Harry looked at his watch and back to the direction that Mr. Weasley had scurried off in. The elder Weasley was taking the boys to muggle London to have lunch at a fast food place. Harry was slightly nervous as the place had a play ground and he hadn't quite gotten through to Mister Weasley that it was for children, not adults. Though he was hoping the little toy that came in the happy meal would be enough to calm the man.
"Ron Weasley," both boys turned to see an elderly man stumble over the hem of his robes. The man straightened up, sliding his wizard hat back on his head, he nearly tripped again as he came over to Ron. Ron looked down at the man clearly confused.
"Don't tell me you don't remember me?" he smirked joyfully. Ron gave half a nod-half shake of his head pressing a fake smile to face.
"You were just a tiny thing when your father brought you in. You use to run around all over the place, crawling up on the desk...." he started laughing. "Right little terror you were. I remember this one time you ripped off your diaper and streaked the whole of the Ministry..." he wiped at his eyes, laughing.
Ron blushing, muttering "Yeah… I remember."
"You certainly grew up fast, my boy. Your father was just telling me you would be graduating this year…my how time passes." The wizard looked dreamily up at Ron as if he was trying to remember a passing time, "oh, you boys should come see where I work now, I received quite a promotion… doing wizard portraits. Very fascinating work."
Both boys nodded, it was quite an honor to see how a wizard portrait was done. Just about every wizard family had one done in their lifetime. Even the Weasley's had several wedding and family portraits hanging about.
The boys followed the wizard up staircase after staircase. Twists and turns to a small room on the back of the fourth floor. The office was an over stuffed room filled with paints of all kinds and colors. One whole wall was paint brushes and canvases listed by use and need. Chalks and tubes of paints, clear jars of color sparkled and changed. Large bags of dust and glitter lay in one corner.
The man sat at a drawing desk. Several small single portraits were in the finishing stages. Several were moving and several more weren't. He currently had a fresh canvas that was in the beginning stages with no people yet placed within it.
Harry watched as several paintings waved happily at him. Several were sulking, a portrait of an elderly lady in the corner had a tarp thrown over her to muffle her noisy chatter. Harry stared at it for several minutes, the old wizard came up next to him, "She's mad because I painted her with the wart on her nose, But of course I had to?" He shrugged his shoulders as if that explained everything.
There was a loud clatter at the door as an even smaller wizard appeared in the doorway. His graying beard sweeping along the floor. "Mr. Poe, Miz. Leander is here with miz'ter Leander's. They are not happy…with you know," he whispered pointing towards the portrait in the corner.
Mr. Poe turned to them, "I mind you not to touch anything boy's, I'll be right back", he scurried quickly after the small apprentice.
Ron looked back down at the desk and the canvas that was currently being worked. "Wedding canvas" he pointed to a sticker on the top corner. Harry shrugged, "they must put different spells on the canvas…this one says Death" he said pointing to a smaller painting of a wizard not yet done. He looked at the paintbrushes that were twitching on the table. Ron pointed his wand at the canvas littered desk; "I'm going to paint your Portrait Harry" he said in mock French accent, Harry smirked picking up one of the brushes. Ron jerked the brush out of his hand "don't touch my supplies boy" the tone of his voice rising in mock outrage, "Go…" he waved him away, "artist at work, get me more black," he elbowed Harry lightly in the ribs.
Harry made a half bow and turned to eye the wall of paint searching for the requested color. He could hear Ron muttering at the painting. He hears his name and what he thought was Mrs. Norris. He giggled as he walked back to see the crude portrait of him holding Mrs. Norris, the cat did not look happy, the figures were not yet moving, Ron opened the cap of black paint. Pouring a liberal amount onto the canvas, he swirled the paint with the tip of his wand and the paintbrush. Harry leaned over looking at the hook nose potion master that was now appearing before them, Ron tapped his wand a final time and the painting began to slowly move.
Snape sulked and quickly shoved Harry away, Mrs. Norris quickly swatted Harry on his left cheek. "Very Funny Ron... ha ha"
"I'm hurt Harry you don't like my wedding present to you and Snape" he stepped back "I think you make a lovely couple." He giggled.
Harry growled at the painting as the Snape painting sneered back.
Mr. Weasley followed Mr. Poe into the office. "Ah, boys there you are…let's get going."
Ron and Harry came quickly around the table, "thank you for showing us the portraits Mr. Poe" Harry nodded.
"Oh it was my pleasure mister Potter." He shook Harry's hand happily. They followed Mr. Weasley out to the hall as Poe shut the door.
They were almost to the stairs when they heard a cry, a thud as the door swung open and the short little wizard came tumble out. "Who did this? Who did this?" waving the canvas about.
Ron sheepishly held up his hand.
The man gulped, Mr. Weasley brushed by them to look at the canvas Mr. Poe was holding, his hands were shaking so badly Mr. Weasley took the painting from him. As he did so he paled. He pulled the portrait toward his face and then held it at arm length then back to his eye level, squinting.
"Oh my" he whispered. He looked over the rim of the canvas, straight at Harry. "Did you touch the picture at all while you were in the room"
Harry quickly shook his head then stopped, thought about it and nodded once. His eyes cast to the floor, as did Ron's.
"We need to see Dumbledore, Poe you better come along as well."
He ran down the hall to lock the door and back down the hall past them, he was ducking through the emergency Floo system that was located on each floor just as they rounded the corner.
"Mr. Weasley what's going on?" Harry spoke up.
The older red head wouldn't look directly at him, "We'll wait for Dumbledore. Go ahead now," giving him a shove toward the Floo. Harry stepped forward, dispensing of the Floo powder and said Hogwarts clearly.
Harry stumbled through to Dumbledore's office almost knocking into Poe who hadn't moved very far. Poe had been babbling something to Dumbledore his hands moving wildly. Harry caught little of what he was saying...though just a few words slipped through...husband, painting, Ron, wedding, canvas.
Mr. Weasley and Ron stumbled through the Floo and into the office, Mr. Weasley led both boys into the waiting area shutting the door promptly behind them. Ron looked bewildered, both seemingly had no idea what was going on and why the painting was such a problem.
Several minutes went by and then several more. Ron paced and Harry simply fidgeted. Ron pressed his ear to the door to see if he could hear any thing. As he did this for the third time in a different place, the outer door leading up to the offices opened and in walked professor Snape. He stopped short when he spotted the two boys and snarled briefly at them.
Ron moaned, "it can't be good if Snape is here. Do you think we'll get expelled from school?"
Minutes paced and they both finally sat down, lost in thought. Silence settled upon the two.
Suddenly a cry ricocheted off the walls, followed by glass breaking, another shout that seemed to shake the entire office and floors below. The door to Dumbledore's office swung open, Snape stomped from the room grabbing Harry by the arm and dragged him into Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore's desk was cleared of all its contents, broken quills and glass paperweights littered the floor. Books and parchments were ripped to shreds and one of the panes of window was broken, a chair looked as if it had been broken and thrown at the fireplace. Snape had red blotches on his face Harry had never seen.
Poe stood in the corner hat in hand shaking. Mr. Weasley also looked visibly shaken looking as if he wanted to grab Harry from the mad mans arms.
Harry froze, as Ron inched into the room and over to his father. Mr. Weasley tucked his arm around his son in a protective brace. Snape's grip tightened as he stood rigidly before Dumbledore's desk, Dumbledore himself was flushed and looking a little heated.
"Fix this" Snapes voice was low and dangerous. He squeezed Harry's arm, he was sure he would have bruises come morning.
Dumbledore looked down at the portrait, his eyes stayed there focusing. "I can't Severus...you know that."
"Let me rephrase this Headmaster, You fix this" the words were acid on his tongue, "or your little Golden boy will lose his shine." Snape stopped pulling Harry forward, closer to his chest, Harry was a mer rag doll in his grip, "I'll have no reason to stay on at the school Albus" Snapes eye's narrowed.
Dumbledore looked up, "you will not remove him from this school. Nor from my care"
"If I am his husband, Then I am family and he will have my protection. My debt to James will be complete, there's no need for I nor my sweet to stay."
Dumbledore's eyes deepened in color, he was half tempted to jump over the desk and strangle the man before him.
"...Give me a week to see what I can find out"
Snape nodded and roughly shoved Harry from him causing him to stumble. Snape brushed past Filch who had just entered, standing in the doorway holding Mrs. Norris.
Harry pulled himself to his feet sorely. Filch's eyes locked on the portrait on Dumbledore's desk. Dumbledore pulled at his beard as Filch's eyes bulged as he caught sight of the wedding portrait on the desk. He ran his hand over the smooth surface.
"Who did this?"
"Argus that's not important. Please just give Mrs. Norris to Harry...I'll explain everything."
Filch held tightly to his cat, It was only at the headmasters prodding that he finally gave up the cat. Harry took the cat gently trying to push a friendly smile on his face. Filch sneered watching him suspiciously.
Harry looked back at Dumbledore, "um, sir…so what exactly happened?"
Dumbledore sat down looking tired and drawn, "Mister Potter, once a portrait is completed of a wizard couple…it is the sign that their wedding binds are complete. Technically you are married."