Disclaimer: (sigh) Not mine

Warnings: Contains tiny little spoilers for the "Deep Dive" ending CG movie of Kingdom Hearts and shounned ai or boy/boy love.

A/N: This story was inspire by the "Deep Dive" movie and it's confusing like the movie it self. If you haven't watched the movie it's going to be even more so. This is just basically my take on what's going on from Riku's POV. Hope you like it.

"So you want to hear about my "life"? I'm not even sure this could be called a life"

I shrug, standing up and walking to the Ocean shore watching silently, listening for anything.

"Everyday is the same I walk among the debris of what I'm sure were once great structures now reduced to unrecognizable wreckage, turned to dust and pebbles, pebbles I step around. I walk to the shore and stare out at the vast endless horizon. There's no breathtaking sunset, there are no starry nights there are no birds hovering above the surf there's nothing but darkness"

And for some reason I can't help but think that's wrong that everything here is wrong. It should be different, how? I'm not sure it's just a feeling.

"Everyday I stand before the crashing waves I close my eyes and I try to remember. For some reason the water the Ocean feels familiar and only hope it helps me remember. Remember why I'm here? How I got here? And why it seems so wrong to be here? As hard as I try I come up with nothing. Behind my closed eye lids there's nothing but endless darkness, even my dreams are just darkness"

The wind is blowing slightly I pick up a rock and throw it into the Ocean I watch as it travels far and for an instant it's free, free until the force of gravity forces it to fall and sink to the bottom of the ocean.

"Sleep used to trouble me, until a while ago things changed. At night when I tried to sleep the darkness surrounded me once again just like in my wake and it envelopes my being caressing me coldly and for some reason it didn't bother me. But as it started to close around me I tried desperately to escape it. I looked around frantically trying to find away out but I couldn't I was completely surrounded by darkness"

The tide is rising it is now hitting my shoes leaving a foamy residue as it recedes back into the ocean only to come back stronger. It almost feels like it's trying to drown me out, to wash me away rid the shore of the darkness and restore it's purity. I scoff, all in vain I'm still here. I continue

"I felt my self drop to my knees my only thoughts were, where is the light? Where's the light at the end of this endless tunnel of darkness? Where's my light? I felt like loosing all hope and the darkness knows this and it starts to slowly grip my heart with it's cold fingers which leave me feeling numb, it hurts. I thought that was it that was my end but then I saw it I saw my light"

A shuffle changing position than stillness.

"It starts as a small barely visible ray of light, than it starts to get brighter and brighter and I think I'm saved. I reach out to it, trying to grasp it to feel its warmth and drive away the cold darkness. That's when the light takes shape my heart catches in my throat and I feel my heart push away the darkness and beat again beat with a life and hope it's never felt before."

"My light it's a boy my head throbs painfully as my memory tries to place a name to this boy it thinks it knows. This boy with incredible blue eyes which radiate innocence, light, warmth, hope, everything I've lost. He is my light. He doesn't say anything just looks sadly at me"

I close my eyes thinking back to that sad look on his face and I feel that I'm the one who caused his sadness. It kills me to not know.

"I can't stand to see him look sad and I reach out to touch him and as my hand is about to make contact with his face I see the light surrounding him begin to fade and I withdraw my hand startled and the light brightens again. My hearts wrenches painfully as I realize the mere touch of my hand will corrupt him with darkness. I can't do that to him, I can't taint his purity with my darkness. I chuckle realizing how cruel life is. I've found my light and I can't even touch him"

This darkness is my companion my only companion but now I'm not alone. Now I know I have a light. No matter how much I long to touch his warmth I won't I refuse to corrupt him with my darkness, even if I can't hold him it helps to know he's there every time I close my eyes. Except that time. I feel my eyes darken as I think back to that particular dream.

I was looking at my light when she appeared and again my brained tried desperately to place a name it couldn't find. The girl looked sad and she called to my light I couldn't hear what she was saying but he looked at me with those sad eyes and went to her.

That night I thought I had lost my light forever. He had left me for that girl. And as much as I wanted to hate her I couldn't. She had taken my light. I felt if I didn't have my light there was no point of living when I had no hope. Hope for anything even finding him, if he was with her.

When I feel a sleep the next night I smiled my first smile since I've been here. My light was there and he was smiling at me. Even though he said nothing, his eyes told me everything was going to be alright, and I believe him.

"Even if it's only a dream I know he's out there I'm sure of it and I wont' give up until I find him. He gives me hope, it helps to know he's there every time I close my eyes. Now when I close my eyes the darkness isn't so frightening it can no longer hold my heart which belongs to him. "

"Now every time I sleep the darkness starts to fade away slowly, with the radiance of my light. Do you know something?"

A shake, and cocked head.

"He looks just like you"

A small gasp is all I hear from the boy who looks like my light. I turn to him but I can't see his expression as his face is hidden with the shadows of the make shift cave I live in. That's where I found this boy a few days ago. A boy who can't remember either. And in my heart I know he's not my light he doesn't have his aura his purity. Who is this boy? I'm not sure. All I know is when I sleep my light is there slowly helping me remember.

"Everything's coming back to me the true.."

I tail off thinking soon I will find him, I can feel it, I can almost feel him. He who holds my heart warmly in his hands , he's my light, he's my hope, he's my sky, he. My Sora.

Cardel: Yes Riku was talking to someone who? don't know. Hmm was that confusing? I hope so (lol)

Jin: Very dark congrats

Demak: It was not.

Cardel: Well like I said before If you haven't seen the "Deep Dive" movie this would be very confusing. It confuses even me. And for those of you who have seen the movie when Riku says "he looks just like you" Who the you is don't know, but the possibilities are endless don't you think? Anyway this was a one shot, but I might continue it when I finish "Songs and Dreams". Why? Because if I continue this , it will be a long fic and I can't multi task two big fics, it'll just confuse me and take away from the potential of both stories. Well review tell us what you think.