This is a parody of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. My husband, Minto Grubb co-wrote this one with me. We do not own the original song, or the Lord of the Rings characters. We make no money from these songs.

Gollumian Rhapsody

Where is my Precious?
There in its pocketses!
Caught by the Baggins
No escape from these hobbitses
Sun burns our eyes, can't look at the skies and see
I'm just a Stoor boy, I get no sympathy
Because I'm sneaky come, sneaky go, really mean, really low
Anywhere the Ring goes, that's what really matters to me, to me

Gollum! I killed my friend!
"No, the Ring is mine," he said, so I choked him, now he's dead!
Gollum! Life back then was fun
But then I went and threw it all away
Deagol, ooh, didn't mean to make you die!
Wanna get it back again this time tomorrow
The Precious, the Precious, there is nothing else that matters

Too late, my time has gone
Sends shivers down my spine, Precious calling all the time
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and chase the Ring
Gollum! Ooh, I don't want to die
I sometimes wish it'd never been found at all

I see a little silhouetto of The Ring
Give it here, give it here, will you give it here, Frodo!
Thunderbolt and lightning, Sting is really fright'ning me!
(Go away oh) Go away oh! (Go away oh!) Go away oh! Go away oh! Let me go!
Just lemme go! I'm just a hobbit and nobody loves me
He's just a hobbit from a Stoor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Sneaky come, sneaky go, will you let us go
Faramir! No, he will not let us go!
(Let us go!) Faramir! He will not let us go!
(Let us go!) Faramir! He will not let us go!
(Let us go!) Will not let us go!
(Let us go!) Will not let us go! (Let us go.) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(Oh Fara mia, Fara mia.) Fara mia, let us go!
That Faramir has really got it in, for me, for me!

So you think you can trick us, betray us and fly?
So you think you can bind us and leave us to die?
Oh, Master! Can't do this to us, Master!
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!

Only Precious matters, anyone can see
Only Precious matters
Only Precious matters to me

Anywhere the Ring goes